Anybody ever asked for a drug test?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Good thread, gang. Personally I find drug testing demeaning to both the addict and me. Also, now that I work at a recovery house where testing is done regularly (for the safety of all the residents), I know that even the very good tests can be hard to read, may sometimes be wrong (as in 3 tests in a row prove negative immediately after a positive with the same urine...not as in the addict's word).
I don't know a single member here who has ever indicated that drug testing was the answer. Tested or not, they use or don't use and what we do or don't do has nothing to do with it.
The answer has been given already and it's simple....trust your instincts. Mine don't lie either. Instincts are our "knowing" place that prepares our mind and body for what is to come. They are no accident, so trust them.
Prayers for all our addicts who still suffer.
Hugs
I don't know a single member here who has ever indicated that drug testing was the answer. Tested or not, they use or don't use and what we do or don't do has nothing to do with it.
The answer has been given already and it's simple....trust your instincts. Mine don't lie either. Instincts are our "knowing" place that prepares our mind and body for what is to come. They are no accident, so trust them.
Prayers for all our addicts who still suffer.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
My advice is to just come out and ask him. It's one thing I've learned living with an addict (who isn't using anymore.) When I go through periods of suspicion, he prefers that I just talk to him about it, ask him instead of torturing myself.
So, I do, and I always feel better (even if I know that he might lie to my face.) If I did ask him and he did lie and I caught him in that lie, at least I felt I gave him the opportunity to be honest and truthful first.
I will say that while I think you DO need to trust your gut, my intuition has been through the ringer and I have been wrong when I swore I WAS "listening to my gut."
Stop and ask yourself, is this really intuition, or is it paranoia and suspicion that you're still fighting with inside yourself. I used to be able to tell the difference, but being with an addict really puts that through the ringer. If you aren't sure, then ask him. Tell him you're having a hard time right now. It was always better for us as a couple when I could go to him and say, "I'm getting suspicious, I am having a really hard week here."
I know that it helps us stay open and honest, and one thing he told me was that it always makes him aware of what his addiction did to us as a couple and how much it hurt/effected me. He feels guilty, yes, but he says it helps him keep his eye on the ball.
Not sure if any of this helped, but it's all I could offer.
besides...
a BIG ((HUG))
So, I do, and I always feel better (even if I know that he might lie to my face.) If I did ask him and he did lie and I caught him in that lie, at least I felt I gave him the opportunity to be honest and truthful first.
I will say that while I think you DO need to trust your gut, my intuition has been through the ringer and I have been wrong when I swore I WAS "listening to my gut."
Stop and ask yourself, is this really intuition, or is it paranoia and suspicion that you're still fighting with inside yourself. I used to be able to tell the difference, but being with an addict really puts that through the ringer. If you aren't sure, then ask him. Tell him you're having a hard time right now. It was always better for us as a couple when I could go to him and say, "I'm getting suspicious, I am having a really hard week here."
I know that it helps us stay open and honest, and one thing he told me was that it always makes him aware of what his addiction did to us as a couple and how much it hurt/effected me. He feels guilty, yes, but he says it helps him keep his eye on the ball.
Not sure if any of this helped, but it's all I could offer.
besides...
a BIG ((HUG))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
I'm glad you brought up the suspicion/paranoia thing because that's a hard one with me. I know others say to always listen to your instinct, but mine isn't always reliable. I sometimes get really focused on something that turns out to be nothing.
Black and Yellow
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by biocat 
While I'm asking questions . . . Any idea what one might be doing with little 2" squares of PAPER? Foil I got, but paper? He keeps tearing 2" squares out the newspaper insert.
Bindles.........or he's cutting coupons.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
bluebelle wrote:
I'm the same way. I wish I had my old intuition back.
And the newspaper squares are odd, unless they are coupons?
I'm glad you brought up the suspicion/paranoia thing because that's a hard one with me. I know others say to always listen to your instinct, but mine isn't always reliable. I sometimes get really focused on something that turns out to be nothing.
And the newspaper squares are odd, unless they are coupons?
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