Originally Posted by marle

My only child is my addict. She is 21 and uses crack/heroin, all of which is supplied by her 38 year old addict boyfriend. Addiction brings with it chaos, as I am sure that you know. You say that she is out of your house and that she has stolen from you. First, report the theft, cancel your card, and set a boundary that she is not allowed back into your house. My daughter does not get a penny from me, she is not allowed to move back to my home. I will help her find rehab when she is ready, but I do not push for her to go because I know it does no good. You really are powerless over her addiction, but you are not powerless over choices that you can make to make your life more bearable. The best thing that I ever did was to not speak with my daughter for 7+ months. It gave me time to work on me, set my boundaries and accept the things that I could not change. I know that you want to find your daughter help, but as long as you are doing all the work she does not have to take responsibility for the things that she is doing. Take a step back. You might think that it is impossible, but believe me when I say it is not. You are risking your marriage, your health and your happiness for something that you have no control over. I hope that you find a way to find some peace for yourself. Hugs, Marle

Originally Posted by splendra

I would like to suggest that once she is in jail to take heed that she may try everything in the book to convince you to bail her out or give her money while she's in jail. She don't need any money in jail.

I know you love your child with all your heart and that is why you gotta be tough seek all the help with this that you can find you are in for a battle with a very cunning and baffling opponent as I am sure you know. You are in my prayers you don't deserve to have to be making these kinds of choices. God I know how it hurts...(((((((BIGHUG)))))))

Originally Posted by mooselips

Aww of course you still love her! We love the addict, hate the disease.
And I sure can understand being at the end of your rope, I've been at the end, quite often with my 2 sons who are addicts.

Sure can understand the tension between you and your husband, the same thing happened in our home too. It's very difficult as a mother to detach ourselves, and let our "kids" H.P. take over, but that's what has to be done.

I am praying she lands in jail, where she can dry out, and hopefully think clearer. I've never slept better than when my sons were in jail, where they were warm safe, and dry, and fed.

Prayers for you, and your husband, and daughter.

P.S. Do you attend Alanon meetings?
Good support and experience at those meetings.