hundow08

I didn't sleep so well last night.
I think my AH is going through w/d's. He kept kicking. it was driving me crazy. (geez i hate being a lite sleeper). so at about 1:30 I finally rolled over, woke him from his partial sleep and said " babe, i hate to be so insinsetive, but your contstant kicking is bothering me, I think you and your w/d's should move to the couch, i need my rest." and so he moved. After that i laid there feeling kinda bad. usually when this happens i just lose sleep and deal with it. This was the first time i kicked him outta bed. I am kinda proud that i said something.... yet i feel like i was being mean. then of course before i fell asleep again i had to had a negitive thought. you know the one where you think to yourself, they have done this before, and then gone back to square one, so whatever. I guess i have just given up on him. it is after all his problem. i gott enough to do... like eat those sugar cookies sitting over there on the table saying eat me... yumm. so anyways you guys think that was pretty harsh or the right thing?

cece1960

When I don't open my mouth to let someone know that something is bothering me, it usually results in resentment and stewing on it until the littlest thing will set me off like a fire-cracker.

Its not like you stood on the bed shrieking at the top of your lungs to take his exercise routine to the gym

You asked him to leave and allow you sleep...doesn't sound harsh to me at all.

(((Hugs)))
Cece

marle

I agree with cece. So many times in the past I have done things to make my addict daughter happy (and not just when she was an addict, really for most of her life). I did so many things that I felt were wrong, things I felt uncomfortable doing. I just ended up with resentments and that ended with me blowing up at her. She learned to manipulate me and I learned how to let her do it. So saying how you feel is what normal people do everyday. It is just not second nature to us codies. Better to speak up now than to let it simmer and cause a big explosion later. Hugs, Marle

Wascally Wabbit

The guilt is a problem with us codies. Afraid to experess our own needs, we do without the very basic things that enable us to function normally.
Learning to ask for what you need is just another step on the recovery ladder.

holdingouthope

I've done the very same thing when my AH was in w/d and had those very same thoughts. I agree with everyone else - you said how you feel and that's the right thing to do for you.

At my AH's rehab family program they had a whole communication exercise and something they said there stuck with me...if when you talk to people you focus on your own feelings instead of the other person's - speak with "I" statements - the receiving person is much more likely to respect and accept what you say.

mooselips

I agree, that Codies having a difficult time making their needs known.

IMO, it's a sign of recovery to simply state the obvious, which you did quite nicely, I may add...

VanessaLee13

Good for you. I always hated the kicking around in bed. And recently, I've been making him sleep on the couch or in the other room--in the past, I was always the one going out on the couch to get away. Good for you for keeping your bed!

Hope those sugar cookies were good!!!