kj0975

Alright I guess I should step in I spoke With the corporal of Kris's PD and let me tell you this man was not concerned about her safty and he did nothing but speak down to me. Why because I was a woman that is what I took out of the conversation that we had. It was a mans matter and I should stay out of it.

What was trying to be discussed was that the police wanted something more to happen to shank he should have been prosecuted and sent to jail for a LONG time BUT for some reason they thought that was to harsh for HIM...
The cop was so embarrased to tell Kris that he couldnt even hold his head up. That a MAN could get away with everything that Shank did and was let go.

I know plenty of women who hunt for a living and who own shot guns and keep them in their houses. I know plenty of women who have pistol permits and carry a gun. In fact I know most of my friends have permits to carry a gun. I infact just sent in my 6 identical pics of myself to get my permit to own a gun. Why because I want too thats why.

My aunt just had some just hide in her basement til she went to bed and he raped her then dragged her out in the freezing cold and stole her car and left her on the side of the road NAKED and raped. She pounded on doors no one would let her in cause they were affraid of her. Do u think if she had a gun that would have happened to her? In fact he was 17 and was let out of jail and proceeded to rape 3 other women and kill 2 or 3 others. If my aunt would have had a gun and used it no one would have had to suffer the way she did. Dont judge unless you have been in her shoes.

I'm not in her shoes and I am still going to carry a gun if I can I will always protect myself and I will always make sure I am safe. Its a polite society.

kj0975

One more thing where did Loves say she was going to kill shank? I could shoot someone in the toe and buy me enough time to get away. This wasnt a post about shoot to kill it was a post about shoot to get away ALIVE. Everyone here who knows Kris knows that she isnt about to take a life from someone. Heck we know she lives for others to make others happy to make them feel good aobut themselves she would NEVER wanna hurt another human being even if it is the man who has made the lasst couple of years for her hell of earth. Even Kris wants to see Shank recover and do good with his life. Which is more than I could say for myself if it was me in her shoes I couldnt say the same.

Shooting to kill and shooting to buy some time are different things I didnt see where she typed I will KILL him I saw she typed she wanted to stay alive. Even police when they are put on the spot shoot to HURT not shoot to KILL. He ran from a golf club once I'm sure he would run faster from a gun. Even shot in the foot.

Morning Glory

Guns Alone Are Not Self Defense
By Michael VanBlaricum

About the Author: Michael Andrew Lord VanBlaricum is a Certified Law Enforcement Instructor, Certified NRA Instructor and Master Black Belt Instructor in Hapkido Hoshinsul and Owner and Chief Instructor of LordVan Tactical LLC.

Here is the article.

http://www.usadojo.com/articles/gun-alone.htm

kj0975

MG I do agree with the article and I think that self defense is good to know. Yet with 5yrs of TaeKwando and Karate I still got beat up by my boyfriend. Yes I could kick him in the head yet somehow his fist to my face was still to fast. In fact I almost got killed my getting hit to close to my temple and when I fought back it was the court and HIS lawyer that made me look like a bad guy. Because I defended myself and left a bruise on him. At that point I was fighting for my life literally. The judge even felt bad that he couldnt do anything. So yes its a catch 22. I can do a round a bout and I can kick out a light bulb in the ceiling and I can defend myself. Sometimes its just not enough when in a real fight sometimes that just doesnt work. just my humble opinion I value every ones opinions. I guess agree to disagree. My life wont be ruined my someone trying to take what isnt theirs though,

Morning Glory

He was also talking about gun training. It is irresponsible to purchase a gun for self defense without initial and ongoing training. I've also been through a lot of domestic violence and threats from a group of terrible evil people. I did own a gun at one time. I also worked in a very dangerous field with dangerous mentally ill clients. We were constantly being trained to protect ourselves. You have to practice enough so the reaction is automatic. I've seen too many people go into fight or flight mode and forget everything they learned. It is much different thinking about it than actually going through it.

There are many members and guests who are reading this thread that haven't had any training. It would be irresponsible to just post to purchase a gun without posting that there needs to be adequate, ongoing gun training for use in self defense.

This is my reason for posting.

ICU

Speaking as a domestic violence survivor, I totally understand your reasons for taking his call and for not changing your cell phone number. Quite frankly, you're the only one that (I'm aware of) that has thought and felt the same way as I do on that subject.

I too was advised not to, and, to change my phone number. Sure, perhaps there would have been some intial peace knowing he couldn't contact me by phone.

However, what won out for me was knowing that if he couldn't contact me by phone, he might then make an 'inperson appearance'. Words over the phone won't kill me...his in person meeting with me might.

I could also judge his state of mind and intoxication level by how he spoke his words, and other little verbal nuances that would key me into the intensity of his anger. Bottom line, not changing the phone number and listening to his voice was a survival skill! So I totally get your rationale behind your decision Lovestoomuch! Your gut was right on track!! And I agree, you very well may have saved your own behind/life that night!!

Bottom line, no one knows your situation better than you. As long as you are actively pursuing safety measures for yourself, and will stop at nothing to protect yourself, 'cause apparently the law ain't gonna do it for you, you will hopefully come through this safe and strong. Never settle for anything less than 100% safety!

I'm sorry you have to go through this. You can pm me any time you'd like if you need an ear!

Momsrainbow

LIVING IN A RURAL AREA

Loves says she lives in a rural area-I also live in a rural area. We do not have the resources that are available in a larger city other than driving 50-60 miles one way. Moving is not an option. One shelter and it is for the whole county. You can only change a phone number-it costs here to change one. I would rather pick up the phone and hear a threat than open a door-be surprised and see a threat.

Loves, keep posting and let all know how you are-please!!!

ICU

OK, make that 'two' people that feel the same way as I do.

pjbs55

Kris,
I hope that you stay, but if you do go know that I love you and will always keep you in my prayers. Don't let one person chase you off, since they have not been abused they don't know what you are feeling. I know how you feel, and it is not fun.
Please keep us posted on how you are,
sending love and prayers

Ann

With complete respect, please don't presume to know what another person has been through. I know for a fact you are mistaken above. The rest is not my story to share.

And I am sorry any time someone is emotionally upset here and leaves. The thing is, this is an emotional site filled with emotional people, talking about emotional issues.

As I have said often, if we all had the same views on everything, there would be no need for sharing, nor would we ever see from eyes other than our own.

I think that rather than let our differences divide us, we should embrace our diversity in fellowship and love.

Kris, you are welcome here any time. My prayers go with you.

Hugs

ICU

Beautifully put Ann!

outonalimb

Kris,:ghug3

I'm sorry to hear about everything that has been going on.

I know you've been fighting this battle for a long time now. I know you must be so tired and worn out by it all. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.

About the issue of sharing...

I just want to say that I recently visited another forum. It didn't deal with addiction...it dealt with another issue that I am struggling with in my life with my Church (not my faith, mind you, but my Church). What a horrible exprience it was! I went to that forum to share some of my struggles and doubts about a few things and I was attacked by members on that forum. I'll never go back. I didn't find understanding and support there...instead I found criticism and condemnation. It was horrible.

My experience at that other forum only served to demonstrate what a really wonderful place SR is. I truly believe that ALL of the thoughts expressed here were expressed out of true compassion and love. Sometimes the words don't come across as expressed...thats the biggest shortcoming of an on-line forum but the person who posted has shone a light for me more times than I could possibly count.

Sending love and support your way...
Please keep yourself safe and let us know how you're doing, okay?

frankly

We've hit on a very sensitive subject. A politically charged subject that invokes very very strong feelings from both sides. Guns. I myself have very strong feelings about the issue, and I could sit here and tout my beliefs with the very best of them, but.....

That's not what this post was about, Kris reached out about her problem and posted what a cop had told her to do and all of a sudden this is about guns, not Kris. Instead of posting encouragement on alternatives, it has centered on and bullseyed guns.

Maybe there is a need for this discussion, maybe we should hash out our beliefs on this subject, I for one would be glad to open a thread to do that, but I personally don't think it helped Kris one bit to divert her need for understanding and support to an issue that wasn't her intent.

Sometimes what we say and how we say it, says a whole lot more than the words we wrote. Interpretation to those words can vary from one end to the other, and only the original poster truely understands what they mean. If a post becomes condesending or implies that we are stupid for not seeing things a certain way, then we've crossed a line. We can express our views and our opinions and our experience with respect and hopefully an open mind to others views.

But more importantly, maybe we should get back to the original issue, Kris's problem, not guns.

All said with respect and understanding of both sides.

B

greeteachday

I can not speak for anyone but myself. For me, I did not read any condemnation in any post here...only concern and caring. I find it easy when I read (or even when I hear) to think something is directed "at" me or to take offense or to be hurt when no offense is meant. I also find that the more I am struggling, the more I can view things in a way that may not be at all what is intended.

We all have situations where we have strong feelings. We all also have things that happen in our lives or people we love who were hurt tremendously by various things. We've lost loved ones , had loved ones seriously injured, have gone through emotional trauma that the rest of the world could never understand.

I do agree that the thread is primarily about the problems Kris is going through at this time, but I also have to remember that not everyone reading these posts know the siutuation, know Kris, etc. For every member here, there are probably 5 times as many readers...This is an open forum and yes, even young children can be reading it. So one never knows what a reader may think when he or she reads something that may be interpreted as getting a gun to take the law in ones own hands. I know that was not what was meant, but would someone who does not know Kris know that? I think it would be less than responsible if those whose job it is to monitor the forum did not mention that safety and knowledge is very important....for everyone...The message, IMHO was not a specific response or admonition to any poster on this thread. I'm sorry that this had to become something it never was....I agree with what Ann said so eloquently completely. What I love most about SR is the love we share even when we don't agree. That is what makes this a family.

Miss Pink

quite a bit of management managing in this thread.....shame.

Lets remember why we are all here...to support and love one another.

frankie_b

This thread is about Kris. It's about Kris clearly seeing what options she has
to save her life. She has received a serious death threat and has determined
how best to protect herself and to stay out of harm's way.
This thread went way off topic. It happens.

Let's support her and have compassion for the hell she is going through.

Jewelz

Frankly I completely agree with everything you said. 99% of the responses here were with love, understanding, respect even if they didnt agree with Kris, and care. But it was one person someone who is supposedlt supposed to abe a moderator who put her down, who typed with words that had no respect and care in his words. Maybe he did not come right out and be nasty but you could read between the lines. I agree that a moderator should post about the safety and caution when something of this matter is brought up. But not only did you do that he added more. I know the some greeters and moderators wont agree... but why not try reading what he wrote with your feelings aside and look at it through kri's's eyes for a moment. We come here because we are hurt, broken up inside and several of us has been here for years. We shouldnt be afarid to post something even if it is something of controversary. Why do you think I barely start a thread here anymore... why cause I have been attack. I love SR, made wonderful friendships here... from people who have come and gone. For the most part the ones that have gone wasn't cause they have grown out of SR it was because this place has changed. I love SR, and would be forever greatful finding this site.

Kris has a problem she is doing the best she can.

Jewelz

Ann

I am closing this thread as Loves is no longer here and it serves no purpose for us all to debate.

I'm sad that some people just don't know when to quit.

If Love's returns, I can reopen it or she can begin a new thread, her choice.

Ann