So tired
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 177
So tired
But I stuck to my boundaries so I am a little proud of myself. My husband finally showed up last night at 7pm expecting us to be waiting with open arms. Were we worried about him? yup. But that doesnt change the fact that he disappeared for 2 days with no way of me getting a hold of him.
I did learn Saturday night, thanks to his dad phoning me, that he had gone to his dads place to get the gun to go hunting. Of course not tellin ghis dad that one of the rules is he was not to hunt alone. So I let his dad know for the next time. So he says he was hunting while I was here at the house sick and taking care of everyone on my own.
When he showed up last night he was not the least bit sorry and he admitted that he knew he was breaking the rules by hunting alone and that since his dad did not know about the rule he knew he could get the gun. He of course blamed me saying it was my own fault for kicking him out. Of course he does not think that his actions had anything to do with it. He was playing the victim up big time telling me over and over how he does not deserve this. He did not care that he has been gone for two days with us not having a clue how to reach him and me being sick and still having to care for everyone.
I am sorry but his total lack of responsibility or caring about this family so he can do as he pleases when he pleases with no consequeces has really ticked me off. I let him know that since he purposely played me to get kicked out so he could break the rules and hunt on his own(supposedly) that he could not come home till he had a urine test. And that can't be done till Monday. And that if he pulled this agian(purposely breaking rules so he gets kicked uot to do as he wants) he will then be kicked out for a week. I can't have him thinking he has no responsibilities here and that he can break the rules when he wants to do as he wants when ever he wants. He was not happy to not be allowed in the house. But I am glad I idn't give in.
I refuse to care for 4 children when I have only given birth to 3. And yes I know it is the addict in him being selfish but that does not change the fact that he still has responsibilities or the fact that I refuse to cater to him and care for him like another child. I deserve to be loved and respected and if he refuses to give that then he can stay out till he does or decideds on another choice of action.
I know part of my feelings is because I am suffering from post partum depression and also being hormonal from having a baby. So one minute I am ticked off, the next crying uncontrolably and so on. I am trying so hard to make the right decisions for my kids and family.
Nikki
I did learn Saturday night, thanks to his dad phoning me, that he had gone to his dads place to get the gun to go hunting. Of course not tellin ghis dad that one of the rules is he was not to hunt alone. So I let his dad know for the next time. So he says he was hunting while I was here at the house sick and taking care of everyone on my own.
When he showed up last night he was not the least bit sorry and he admitted that he knew he was breaking the rules by hunting alone and that since his dad did not know about the rule he knew he could get the gun. He of course blamed me saying it was my own fault for kicking him out. Of course he does not think that his actions had anything to do with it. He was playing the victim up big time telling me over and over how he does not deserve this. He did not care that he has been gone for two days with us not having a clue how to reach him and me being sick and still having to care for everyone.
I am sorry but his total lack of responsibility or caring about this family so he can do as he pleases when he pleases with no consequeces has really ticked me off. I let him know that since he purposely played me to get kicked out so he could break the rules and hunt on his own(supposedly) that he could not come home till he had a urine test. And that can't be done till Monday. And that if he pulled this agian(purposely breaking rules so he gets kicked uot to do as he wants) he will then be kicked out for a week. I can't have him thinking he has no responsibilities here and that he can break the rules when he wants to do as he wants when ever he wants. He was not happy to not be allowed in the house. But I am glad I idn't give in.
I refuse to care for 4 children when I have only given birth to 3. And yes I know it is the addict in him being selfish but that does not change the fact that he still has responsibilities or the fact that I refuse to cater to him and care for him like another child. I deserve to be loved and respected and if he refuses to give that then he can stay out till he does or decideds on another choice of action.
I know part of my feelings is because I am suffering from post partum depression and also being hormonal from having a baby. So one minute I am ticked off, the next crying uncontrolably and so on. I am trying so hard to make the right decisions for my kids and family.
Nikki
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Okanagan BC
Posts: 328
I understand the flip flopping of the emotions. Mad, to sad, back to mad. Sometimes I find it helpful to write down my feelings, and why I am mad, or sad. then when I start to feel myself weaken the boundries, i read what I had written. It is so easy sometimes to allow ourselves to forget how they made us feel. Be strong, you deserve to be good to yourself and your family!
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Originally Posted by kj21 
I understand the flip flopping of the emotions. Mad, to sad, back to mad. Sometimes I find it helpful to write down my feelings, and why I am mad, or sad. then when I start to feel myself weaken the boundries, i read what I had written. It is so easy sometimes to allow ourselves to forget how they made us feel. Be strong, you deserve to be good to yourself and your family!
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