Struggling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Hurricane Alley, Fl
Posts: 119
Struggling
I feel like one of those cartoon characters who gets flattened by a steamroller.
My son's in rehab in another city. Got clean, got a job, has new friends. All in the past three weeks.
But the weeks of chaos that led to this lovely rehab — which included a psychotic break, six days in jail, five stitches in his head, a lot of lies, a lot of midnight screaming as well as the prescription drugs, all legally and nicely prescribed, plus one or two which weren't, the wiped-out savings and the $500 he left behind in bounced checks - which, because I helped him open an account with my name on it - well, you get the picture -
I kept trying, when i realized he was losing it, to remain calm, or if not calm, silent, as I worked with his dad and a rehab counselor my son knows to force him into treatment. It was beyond terrible. He would walk into my bedroom at 3 in the morning and start yelling. He got into a fight with a night manager at a grocery store. He would break down into paranoia, or soibbing - one night at midnight he lay in a Wendy's parking lot curled into a fetal position - and then be dangerously angry. It was an unholy combination of drugs, a bi-polar episode triggered by having his head slammed into concrete by someone even crazier---
But I knew I had to get him out of South Florida before he was arrested here or forciblly committed. You don't want that to happen to your worst enemy down here, much less someone you love. The idea was to get him to central Florida, where his dad, more treatment, better hospitals - and where the cops don't taser 6 year olds.
So we got him up there. He was pulled over for dui within 24 hours. Wasn't drunk- those Rx drugs- hadn't slept for three days
I am so grateful he was caught and jailed before he killed someone. No one would make his bail, so he sat in jail, and stewed and went cold turkey on everything, including cigarettes, until he agreed to go into rehab. Where he had to get a job right away to pay for. It's part of their program.
So he's doing well. Very well. He has some memory gaps from the concussion. He has started to pay me $25 a month. He calls me very day. He is working the steps. His old sponsor is back in the picture. He is clean. He is happy, tho nervous about the Nov. 15 arraignment on dui. Looks like that will be reduced to reckless driving.
His life is so bright, he probably needs to wear shades.
But I am still flat on the ground. Shortly after he left, I had to put the dog down on my birthday. One of the two cats disappeared (as he was moving out of the house he shared with the man who slammed his head into concrete.) He was driving a car I had given him when he was picked up for dui; it was sent to impound and i did not have the money to get it out. So I lost that car. My checks weren't being accepted - i didn't know why - until I realized his bounced checks ( with my name on them ) were coming back to haunt me. There's more, but: I can't even be angry. I can't feel anything at all. I am just flat.
How do they get to wipe the slate of their lives so clean? Is it because they are young? He's 22. He's like - still thinking of cartoons, here - those rocke 'em sock 'em balloons that just keep popping up. I have a younger friend, late 30s, who also imploded his life with coke, but with treatment he popped back up.
I can't pop up. I can barely get up in the morning. I am lucky to have a good therapist, a good regimen of rx, al-anon meetings are keeping me going, too, but maybe I just like the view from flat on my back?
It's good to write about it, tho. Really. ~ thnx
My son's in rehab in another city. Got clean, got a job, has new friends. All in the past three weeks.
But the weeks of chaos that led to this lovely rehab — which included a psychotic break, six days in jail, five stitches in his head, a lot of lies, a lot of midnight screaming as well as the prescription drugs, all legally and nicely prescribed, plus one or two which weren't, the wiped-out savings and the $500 he left behind in bounced checks - which, because I helped him open an account with my name on it - well, you get the picture -
I kept trying, when i realized he was losing it, to remain calm, or if not calm, silent, as I worked with his dad and a rehab counselor my son knows to force him into treatment. It was beyond terrible. He would walk into my bedroom at 3 in the morning and start yelling. He got into a fight with a night manager at a grocery store. He would break down into paranoia, or soibbing - one night at midnight he lay in a Wendy's parking lot curled into a fetal position - and then be dangerously angry. It was an unholy combination of drugs, a bi-polar episode triggered by having his head slammed into concrete by someone even crazier---
But I knew I had to get him out of South Florida before he was arrested here or forciblly committed. You don't want that to happen to your worst enemy down here, much less someone you love. The idea was to get him to central Florida, where his dad, more treatment, better hospitals - and where the cops don't taser 6 year olds.
So we got him up there. He was pulled over for dui within 24 hours. Wasn't drunk- those Rx drugs- hadn't slept for three days
I am so grateful he was caught and jailed before he killed someone. No one would make his bail, so he sat in jail, and stewed and went cold turkey on everything, including cigarettes, until he agreed to go into rehab. Where he had to get a job right away to pay for. It's part of their program.
So he's doing well. Very well. He has some memory gaps from the concussion. He has started to pay me $25 a month. He calls me very day. He is working the steps. His old sponsor is back in the picture. He is clean. He is happy, tho nervous about the Nov. 15 arraignment on dui. Looks like that will be reduced to reckless driving.
His life is so bright, he probably needs to wear shades.
But I am still flat on the ground. Shortly after he left, I had to put the dog down on my birthday. One of the two cats disappeared (as he was moving out of the house he shared with the man who slammed his head into concrete.) He was driving a car I had given him when he was picked up for dui; it was sent to impound and i did not have the money to get it out. So I lost that car. My checks weren't being accepted - i didn't know why - until I realized his bounced checks ( with my name on them ) were coming back to haunt me. There's more, but: I can't even be angry. I can't feel anything at all. I am just flat.
How do they get to wipe the slate of their lives so clean? Is it because they are young? He's 22. He's like - still thinking of cartoons, here - those rocke 'em sock 'em balloons that just keep popping up. I have a younger friend, late 30s, who also imploded his life with coke, but with treatment he popped back up.
I can't pop up. I can barely get up in the morning. I am lucky to have a good therapist, a good regimen of rx, al-anon meetings are keeping me going, too, but maybe I just like the view from flat on my back?
It's good to write about it, tho. Really. ~ thnx
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Geez Niteleite. I think anyone would feel flattened at times given your journey.
I feel that way too sometimes so I'm afraid I may not be of much help. My son is flexible and resiliant...I sometimes feel bruised and worn. But I pray often that things will eventually work out in time.
Time takes time (as they say here)
Hang in there
((((Hugs))))
Cece
I feel that way too sometimes so I'm afraid I may not be of much help. My son is flexible and resiliant...I sometimes feel bruised and worn. But I pray often that things will eventually work out in time.
Time takes time (as they say here)
Hang in there
((((Hugs))))
Cece
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I have days like that but they are few and far between because I believe we are as happy as we choose to be. I refuse to let my son's lifestyle ruin my life too.
I hope you get off your back soon because we only have one go at life and we must make it fabulous. Don't take too much ownership for his situation.
He has a long life ahead of him to get it together. He will change. It is import. to remember letting go is freeing.
I hope you get off your back soon because we only have one go at life and we must make it fabulous. Don't take too much ownership for his situation.
He has a long life ahead of him to get it together. He will change. It is import. to remember letting go is freeing.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Everything hitting at once...
Hi NiteLite,
I have often wondered how some of the kids just finally get it together and go on with life as if they hadn't hurt anyone, especially their famlies. :morning
I am the alcoholic & Wife & Mom in my immediate family but have been sober a long time now. I have five children three in their mid to late forties, one 38 and one 30.
The oldest son is into alcohol abuse along with his wife. They live in Alaska and drinking is a way of life there. He was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and has quit his medication and his wife had a stroke (fully recovered) last year and they have continued to drink. I told them they were living dangerously with their medical history. I can't make them do anything but be the example by my sobriety.
The next son and daughter drink socially and don't seem to have a problem yet. This son had to give up his restaurant due to the economy of today so is a manager of a deli in a big supermarket in Idaho. Our daughter is a lawyer in Seattle and her husband does restaurant work...giving expertise advice for people setting up new restaurants in the Seattle area. :comfort
Our son that is 38 is a Veteran of the Gulf War and got into drinking while in the Navy four years. He has depression and alcoholism just like me. He got drunk one day & decided to drive his truck over a 150 foot cliff and now is a quadraplegic.
Our youngest daughter doesn't drink or use drugs but has Juvenile Diabetes. She also has bouts of depression but not continuously. She is married and has a six year old son who is the light of our eyes.
So addiction came along to two sons that chose to drink even when they knew they have a predisposition to alcoholism and depression. With the other children it can always change as the years go by. We will never know until it is THERE!
kelsh
I have often wondered how some of the kids just finally get it together and go on with life as if they hadn't hurt anyone, especially their famlies. :morning
I am the alcoholic & Wife & Mom in my immediate family but have been sober a long time now. I have five children three in their mid to late forties, one 38 and one 30.
The oldest son is into alcohol abuse along with his wife. They live in Alaska and drinking is a way of life there. He was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and has quit his medication and his wife had a stroke (fully recovered) last year and they have continued to drink. I told them they were living dangerously with their medical history. I can't make them do anything but be the example by my sobriety.
The next son and daughter drink socially and don't seem to have a problem yet. This son had to give up his restaurant due to the economy of today so is a manager of a deli in a big supermarket in Idaho. Our daughter is a lawyer in Seattle and her husband does restaurant work...giving expertise advice for people setting up new restaurants in the Seattle area. :comfort
Our son that is 38 is a Veteran of the Gulf War and got into drinking while in the Navy four years. He has depression and alcoholism just like me. He got drunk one day & decided to drive his truck over a 150 foot cliff and now is a quadraplegic.
Our youngest daughter doesn't drink or use drugs but has Juvenile Diabetes. She also has bouts of depression but not continuously. She is married and has a six year old son who is the light of our eyes.
So addiction came along to two sons that chose to drink even when they knew they have a predisposition to alcoholism and depression. With the other children it can always change as the years go by. We will never know until it is THERE!
kelsh
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