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Old 11-08-2007, 01:02 PM
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Well, I just woke up. Im a bit sick, so slept most of the day, woke up feeling worse than yesterday. I know he will call me tonight, and Im not sure what to say to him. Ive talked to his grandma and she thinks that I should not try to push him to get help, she says that as his girlfriend I cant be the one pushing because then it turns into a parenting type of tone. To some extent I think she is corret. She says that she has made an arrangement with him to talk with him once a week and has told him that each week she wants a list of initiatives from him as to what he is doing to help himself, and that I should just try to be his friend and listen to him without trying to parent. I havent told her about last nights conversation yet. I know that right now he isnt ready to get help, over the last 3 months he has been saying that he would go to AA meeting in prison and he hasent gone to one at all. Unfortunately they dont have NA where he is at, cuz I honestly think he would be more apt to go there as he feels that AA is only for alcoholics.
I do feel hopelss at this point, If going to prison and facing a possible 5 year sentence isnt his "bottom" then what is? Thats something he asked me last night as well. I told him well, Death is lower than prison, and he said to me "well if I end up dead then problem solved right?" I cant believe he would consider that a better option then reaching out and getting help... He aso says that when he gets out he isnt sure that he wants to live with me, that he wants to be independent so if he does screw up that he will feel the consequences of it and not always have me there to take care of him as an excuse that maybe he will learn more responsibility. My thinking to that was that, great he is opening up the door to screw up, and that he doesnt want to live apart from me to be more responsible but so that he can do more drugs instead.. I guess the codependent part of me as thinking atleast he was living with me he would have someone other then himself to hold him accountable.
I just want him to want to get better, to realize that life can be so great, without drugs. This is truly breaking my heart. Its like he is rying to bargain with his addiction, and i know in the end the addiction will always win...
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Old 11-08-2007, 01:27 PM
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(((graci))))
I know it hurts your heart, but I think you have some decisions to make.
Nothing has to be decided now, but maybe you need to think about what you want YOUR life to be in a year from now, or even 5 years from now.

Other than your abf, getting sober, and working his program, what would make YOU happy?


Hugs to you ,
from the mom of 2 addict sons,
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