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Violation of Probation....

Old 11-03-2007, 07:06 PM
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Violation of Probation....

Well, just when I thought we were through with all the court stuff with my almost 21 year old son....yep...he blew it again. He was reporting to his probation officer once a month and apparently was testing positive on his random drug tests. And so....Violation of Probation. He reports back to court on November 21st. I am so sick of this. To be honest, a year ago this court letter would have put me right over the edge...but now...quite frankly...I'm sure they are gonna put him in a long term drug facility. I wasnt shocked to read the letter...knew it was coming. I had my suspicions. Last year at this time he was in a 30 day rehab right before the holidays. This year he goes back to court the day before Thanksgiving. Who knows...they may lock him up that day. The sad part is...he shrugs it off like its no big deal. I dont get it. We've done everything we can to help this boy. I have no more to give. Thanks for listening..
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Old 11-03-2007, 07:46 PM
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puddinface,
Funny how it seems to roll off their backs, like water off a ducks back!

And before we "get" our program,
we spend our time worrying, and fretting for them!


Hopefully, they'll place him in a court ordered rehab.

His H.P. is going to put him right where he wants him...

Hugs to you,
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Old 11-03-2007, 08:00 PM
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It's funny, the first time my son was in jail, I couldn't get there fast enough to bail him out of "that place".

It didn't take long before I started saying "Thank You God" each time he ended up there.

God's blessings often come in strange wrappings, and sometimes the box looks like a jail.

I hope he gets long-term rehab too, but whatever happens his HP has already got it covered.

Hugs
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Old 11-03-2007, 09:13 PM
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Hi Everyone, :sorry

Back in the 70's my stepson was the first one to be put in the new Juvenile Detention Center. He had been to the old one many times already. I would call his probation officer when something else happened to get him put in and then I would be the only one to go visit him. He is 49 years old now and to this day doesn't understand why I came to see him all the time.

He and one brother were the only two to ever be in jail and we didn't bail them out. The oldest one was in trouble for running away from home to stealing a car... the youngest one was arrested for domestic violence when he and his wife were getting a divorce...he egged her on until she ended up with a scratch that stayed long enough for the cop to see it. He got out the next morning and did not egg her on anymore. He was at our house talking to her on the phone so the sheriff came to our house to arrest him....didn't even put handcuffs on him. It was so sad for me but I was in for more than this further down the road.

It seems our kids are always our kids....good and bad times....but we have to have boundaries for ourselves to survive. :praying

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Old 11-03-2007, 09:24 PM
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Hopefully it will be drug rehab. Each time they go, they come away with more clean time and more info on how to survive addiction. And it also gives you some time to rest. I know how stressful holidays can be when you are in the midst of drug induced chaos. My son went in the first time at the ripe old age of 14 and it was a few days after Christmas. I still dread the holidays. I guess one thing we can do is lessen our expectations, and keep working our program. Hugs from one mom to another.
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Old 11-04-2007, 07:09 AM
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where ever he is put it will be where he belongs at the time. rehab will work if he works it. i am sorry you are going thru this. i know how it hurts. keeping posting & keep reading & take care of yourself.you are powerless over him & what will happen to him.prayers,
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Old 11-04-2007, 07:40 AM
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re: Violation of Probation

Thank you all so much for listening. I appreciate it so much. It is so great to know that I have people who understand out there. Not many people I can talk to about this. I always get the feeling that some people sort of look at you like it's your fault that the kid has problems...like you didnt discipline him enough...like you didnt support him enough, like he didnt have stability...when in fact it is the furthest thing from the truth. I have been dealing with this kid's BS since he was in the 8th grade. I'm worn out from it. He's a great kid...hard worker and hasnt been in any trouble in 2 years...but just doesnt seem to wanna give up the drugs. Even though he knew that this Violation of Probation would be coming. And I am amazed at the way it rolls off their backs...like its no big deal. Why should we be sick over this when they dont seem to be frightened about it at all, right? Once again my friends...just venting. Thanks for listening again. Puddin
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Old 11-04-2007, 07:50 AM
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And I am amazed at the way it rolls off their backs...like its no big deal. Why should we be sick over this when they dont seem to be frightened about it at all, right?
That's how you know that you are dealing with someone in active addiction. It controls their lives and skews their ability to think and reason rationally. Jail, halfway house, rehab etc are part of their journey until they are able to come to terms with the addiction.

Holidays can be a tough time... but perhaps you'll have some peace and serenity knowing that his HP is with him,

Big hugs
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Old 11-04-2007, 08:04 AM
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Cats...you are so right. He has been denying for years now that he has a problem. Unfortunately, the crowd he has been friends with for years now are all drug abusers too. I truly believe this will never stop unless he totally changes his routine and doesnt look back.
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Old 11-04-2007, 08:10 AM
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Ditto what Cats said. My XABF always says jail is "just another place". Of course, when he's in there, he's full of plans about getting his life together, quack, quack, quack. As soon as he's out, it's back to the dope. He and his "friends" think the jil has a revolving door.

I hope he eventually gets tired of it.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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