Good news an Bad news
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
Good news an Bad news
Well the good news is we got to bring the baby home on Sun an she is doing fine. Now for the bad news AD turned herself in for the PV thinking it would be better than waiting for them to pick her up. Well she went to court this morning they set bond at 4500, she knew no one could come up with that kind of money an didn't want to set in jail for 2 months waiting for a court date, She wanted to get started on rehab an the things CS wanted her to do to get her kids back, she plead guilty thinking she would get 30 or 60 days since it's her first PV..well she was wrong they gave her 1 yr at 2 for 1 so she'll be locked up for 6 months.
So now I don't know what will happen, she is freaking out cause she won't see her son an baby for 6 months, an is afraid she will loss them completely. I know she brought this on herself by using drugs. But I had hoped she would get drug treatment. AN her 5 yr is asking when she is coming home. So I had to tell him she's in jail he wanted to know when she would get out, he still don't really understand days an weeks, so he ask would she be here for Christmas, I had to tell him no..an he cried.. it broke my heart.
Also CS now say they want to do a paternity test to see if ABF is really the father of the baby,he signed the birth certificate an the it has his last name on it. BUt since she was also seeing somone else at the time, they want a test done. I didn't know they could force that, an don't see why they would when he says he's the father an wants the baby.
I'm just praying thaat God has this in his hands it's all part of his plan.
So now I don't know what will happen, she is freaking out cause she won't see her son an baby for 6 months, an is afraid she will loss them completely. I know she brought this on herself by using drugs. But I had hoped she would get drug treatment. AN her 5 yr is asking when she is coming home. So I had to tell him she's in jail he wanted to know when she would get out, he still don't really understand days an weeks, so he ask would she be here for Christmas, I had to tell him no..an he cried.. it broke my heart.
Also CS now say they want to do a paternity test to see if ABF is really the father of the baby,he signed the birth certificate an the it has his last name on it. BUt since she was also seeing somone else at the time, they want a test done. I didn't know they could force that, an don't see why they would when he says he's the father an wants the baby.
I'm just praying thaat God has this in his hands it's all part of his plan.
Although we are all codies here it did seem like a tough break for your AD. Give it up to her HP.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
There are AA/NA meetings in jail... if she really wants RECOVERY and not just go through the motions in order to get a particular outcome... then she will find it.
HP is in charge... she is right where she needs to be. Six months is barely a drop in the bucket compared to a lifetime of sobriety. I pray it can be her best beginning.
So glad the baby is doing well. ((hugs))
HP is in charge... she is right where she needs to be. Six months is barely a drop in the bucket compared to a lifetime of sobriety. I pray it can be her best beginning.
So glad the baby is doing well. ((hugs))
Grace Under Fire
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536
My granddaughter's Mom spent three months
in jail and they transported her to the court
hearings for the kids. They will have a plan for
her when she is released and she can go to rehab
once she is out. They will put her time in jail aside
and extend her time also. The whole CS goal (when Mom loses the kids) is to reunite the kids with their Mom's. The judge and CS all work together with your daughter to make this happen. Six months
is alot of clean time for your daughter as well and
they do have AA NA depending on where she is.
At least those are tools to get her started.
It's all going to work out! Yes, it's part of the plan.
Everything is just as it's supposed to be. Just tell yourself that over and over.
And I know how hard it is on the kids but they
are resilient and they have us to keep them stable
safe and loved and they know it!
Hugs!
in jail and they transported her to the court
hearings for the kids. They will have a plan for
her when she is released and she can go to rehab
once she is out. They will put her time in jail aside
and extend her time also. The whole CS goal (when Mom loses the kids) is to reunite the kids with their Mom's. The judge and CS all work together with your daughter to make this happen. Six months
is alot of clean time for your daughter as well and
they do have AA NA depending on where she is.
At least those are tools to get her started.
It's all going to work out! Yes, it's part of the plan.
Everything is just as it's supposed to be. Just tell yourself that over and over.
And I know how hard it is on the kids but they
are resilient and they have us to keep them stable
safe and loved and they know it!
Hugs!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I too have faith that this is unfolding exactly as it should and that her HP is by her side.
Yes, 6 months is a long time especially to miss the development of the baby. But it may be the beginning of a lifetime where she can get herself healthy, inside and out, and be a better mother for it over the years ahead.
What she wanted and what she needed just may have been 2 separate things. There are no "quick fixes" to addiction, and this time of sobriety may let her head clear enough to be more willing to take a long term approach.
As BigSis said, there are meetings in jails and that may just be what she needs to find that willingness.
My prayers go out for her and the children, that this may already be a "new beginning" for all of them.
Hugs
Yes, 6 months is a long time especially to miss the development of the baby. But it may be the beginning of a lifetime where she can get herself healthy, inside and out, and be a better mother for it over the years ahead.
What she wanted and what she needed just may have been 2 separate things. There are no "quick fixes" to addiction, and this time of sobriety may let her head clear enough to be more willing to take a long term approach.
As BigSis said, there are meetings in jails and that may just be what she needs to find that willingness.
My prayers go out for her and the children, that this may already be a "new beginning" for all of them.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Sending my prayers. I agree with the others. She is where she needs to be. She can't leave the jail when things get tough like she could have a rehab. She will have 6 months of not using and that will give her time to think more clearly. Maybe this is the wake up call she needs. I am glad the baby is safe with you. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
I have a friend whose daughter chose jail over drug court/rehab because she didn't really want to 'change' her life...just wanted to do her time....
now she is ready for release and she is clean and looking forward to a sober house and continued recovery
seems sometime during that time in jail she changed her mind and began working on her recovery
my prayers that this is the beginning for your daughter
now she is ready for release and she is clean and looking forward to a sober house and continued recovery
seems sometime during that time in jail she changed her mind and began working on her recovery
my prayers that this is the beginning for your daughter
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Falling Waters, WV
Posts: 150
Bless your heart and the hearts of the two little ones. My heart breaks for the children who are in the middle of addiction. When my daughter got locked up, I choose not to tell her oldest 3 year old child where she was. Instead I told him that she was working --- i felt he was too young to understand. Looking back now I wished that I had been honest with him but there is nothing I can do to change that. I really hope that your daughter uses this time to get her thoughts and act together and does what needs to be done in order to be released clean and healthy. I know jail for most people is a last resort especially when they are in trouble and feel they should be able to choose rehab over jail. Unfortunately, this isn't her choice anymore --and it is probably for the better.
As for the babies, you are in the same position as I was. You now have to convert your life back to the "mommy" ways. This was the hardest thing I had ever done...I went from guiding my teenagers to raising babies. At first it seemed overwhelming and so stressful....but..it wasn't long before everything seemed to fall into place. The best of luck to you and the children!!
As for the babies, you are in the same position as I was. You now have to convert your life back to the "mommy" ways. This was the hardest thing I had ever done...I went from guiding my teenagers to raising babies. At first it seemed overwhelming and so stressful....but..it wasn't long before everything seemed to fall into place. The best of luck to you and the children!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
They don't have any meetings or help at this jail for women, they have AA for the men but nothing for the women. So maybe she'll meet someone or maybe just the being there that long will help. Glad to hear that CS will extend the time she has to follow their program, I was really worried about that. Since I really can't help her or change what happened to her I am going to focus on the kids.. The baby is gaining weight now an they are slowly reducing the medicine she is on. Just wish the state would stay out of it on the paternity test, cause ABF says he's the father , an with all his faults he is the better choice. But again ( I keep telling myself) that is in Gods hands. We are just going to make sure the kids have all the love they need an more.
Thanks for the prayers.. this board has really help me deal with all of this. Maybe someday I will get to the point where I don't freak out over what AD does.
Connie
Thanks for the prayers.. this board has really help me deal with all of this. Maybe someday I will get to the point where I don't freak out over what AD does.
Connie
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm so glad you have the baby home with you. It will be okay...I KNOW HP is by your daughter's side...there is a reason. I've found in my life, the more horrible things seem on its face, the greater I later see HP's presence helping things to be just where they need to be.
My daughter's friend never did rehab...He was forced clean off heroin and pretty much whatever by spending 4 months in jail. This gave him time for the fog to clear and to realize that his choices lead him to where he was. He then made a choice...started going to meetings in jail, talking to others, reading NA literature. He got super involved in NA upon release, moved to a sober house for a year then with another friend as he continued to rebuild his life. This past weekend, he moved to his own apartment and used savings to furnish it. (Yes savings...no more spending it all on drugs) Tomorrow he celebrates 2 years clean, sponsors others and is very active in the program. He's been promoted 3 times in his job; goes to college at night, has a beautiful relationship with his family again and he is truly one of the nicest, most caring young men of I've met.
There is hope, just trust in HP and do what is good for you. Thank you for being there for her kids...it all will be fine. Hugs and prayers
My daughter's friend never did rehab...He was forced clean off heroin and pretty much whatever by spending 4 months in jail. This gave him time for the fog to clear and to realize that his choices lead him to where he was. He then made a choice...started going to meetings in jail, talking to others, reading NA literature. He got super involved in NA upon release, moved to a sober house for a year then with another friend as he continued to rebuild his life. This past weekend, he moved to his own apartment and used savings to furnish it. (Yes savings...no more spending it all on drugs) Tomorrow he celebrates 2 years clean, sponsors others and is very active in the program. He's been promoted 3 times in his job; goes to college at night, has a beautiful relationship with his family again and he is truly one of the nicest, most caring young men of I've met.
There is hope, just trust in HP and do what is good for you. Thank you for being there for her kids...it all will be fine. Hugs and prayers
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
I am so happy baby Grace is home! For whatever reason we don't understand, and may not ever, your AD is where she needs to be. God is working behind the scenes. As much as you love her, he loves her more. Someone her told me to imagine my AD doing whatever and all along they way God was right beside her, protecting her with his arm around her, waiting on her to call to him. I believe that is true as my AD should be dead after what she has been through. But she is here, and for today, or yesterday!, is safe and clean.
Prayers, blessings, and understanding.
love,
susan
"...and the greatest of these is love" 1 Corinthians 13:7
Prayers, blessings, and understanding.
love,
susan
"...and the greatest of these is love" 1 Corinthians 13:7
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