ladyjane

First of all I want to thank everyone who posted, pmed and sent cards and candles when my son died. I'll never forget it.

Second of all I want to express shock, sadness and anger.
Today has been the second worse day of my life.
This week-end my ad and abusive abf we're at it again. She called screaming and crying this morning while I was at work. I told her I was with a customer and would call the police for her since she was 60 miles away. She hung up on me. Now I'm shaking.
Then abf calls and says she's cutting on her wrists. He says " now you've already had one kid off himself 'cause you turned him away. Do you want another kid on your conscience?". I say "call 911 if she's cutting herself!!" He say's "I"m not calling nobody" and hangs up. Now I'm hysterical. I call my husband and he's rushing to my workplace. I'm crying hysterically and Misty calls and says "do you really want me to do it Mom. Do you really?!"
My husband gets there and we call the county police who go over there and no ones home although they just called no more than 5 minutes before. They do a walk through the trailer and no one is there.
The county cops call me back to let me know no one's home.
A couple minutes later ad calls and I don't answer, so her abf calls my home and tells my daughter to tell me the cops have been there and they know husband and I are lying.
About an hour later ad calls and I answer and she says "I'm fine mom. Stop calling the cops". The cops are calling on the other line. I hang up on ad and answer and it's the captain to tell me ad is not there. I tell him she is there I just spoke to her from that number. He tells me that they've been trying to serve various warrants on abf but he's never home. During their walk through they discovered his scanner so they know now he always knows when they are coming. Hopefully, now theyl will be able to sneak up on him and finally get him.

I just don't understand how people can be so deliberately cruel. I have been agonizing over my son's suicide. How can I ever forgive her for her cruelty? I've cried a million tears today alone. I'm so broken hearted.
Trish

Elana

((((trish))))
the ultimate cruelty I agree... manipulative cruelty is the worse kind.

I care and we all do here. My heart goes out to you in your unimaginable pain.
I have no words of wisdom. I offer you my love and ask God to hold you in His hands so you may find peace in your sorrow.

hmbld

How awful for you! I wish there was something that I could do. It really isn't fair what you are being put through.

Lobo

(((((Trish)))))
My heart goes out to you, hon. Just how much more can a mother take. My prayer for you is peace and comfort. Someday your AD will realize how cruel and insensitive she is being.

Take care, I care about you...........Lo

marle

(((Trish))) Sending some hugs your way. I can't even begin to imagine how much what your daughter is doing hurts. Hopefully the police can catch the abf and your daughter will see what a terrible thing she is doing. Hugs, Marle

frankie_b

(( ladyjane)) I'm so sorry you heard such unspeakably cruel words and needlessly were made to fear for ad.
May God help and comfort you and may you know we care very much for you.
My heart goes out to you. I'm keeping you in my prayers and thoughts each day.

Can you contact someone else in your family to deal with ad and bf when they start calling you ? God knows you need protection from their cruelty. I apologize if what I just said upsets you in any way.

Afraid2Succeed

sorry to hear this Trish; you don't deserve this. i hope they catch the abf so your daughter has one less bad influence around.

wishing you peace...

cece

when I read this I was so angry for you! And then I wanted to cry for you! Because its so unfair and so out of your control! I want to shake someone for you! but i can't And you can't. And now I know why nar-anon and al-anon and everyone here are so important because if we didn't have all of that we couldn't survive these type of battles. But you do have it. And we are here for you. I am so new so I wouldn't even know where to start except i can offer prayer. That I know how to do! and I have learned that what you are hearing is the addict not your daughter.
Again, I now realize that all of this support and knowledge are so important. SO REMEMBER and pray. You are doing everything you can. So sorry!

greeteachday

Trish, I don't even have the words...I can't imagine how horrible this day must have been for you and can not understand at all. I thought I understood addiction, but I can't quite comprehend this. I wish I could just wipe this away. You did the right thing...I just am so darn sorry you continue to go through such anguish when you need healing time and peace. Sending hugs and I will just keep praying...for you and for your daughter, that she will see there is some light shining if she chooses to walk towards it. That she will understand the hurt she has inflicted and show through action that she wants to change.

krhea75

((((trish))))
krhea

CatsPajamas

Wow. My heart hurts for you. Prayers that all will get just what they need from their HP...

Ann

Trish, I cannot imagine how painful this must be for you and send a bucket of hugs and my best prayers.

As hard as it is, remember that they are sick people and that is the sickness speaking. It isn't true, of course, and only intended to hurt you as an attempt to manipulate you.

Your recovery shines as you once again rise above the insanity and chaos of addiction.

You did everything right, and I think you know that you aren't responsible for the bad choices people who are sick with addiction make.

From my heart to yours, Hugs

cece1960

I'm so sorry (((Trish)))
What transpired was mean and ugly.
I'm sending buckets of prayers as well that brighter days lie ahead
(((Hugs)))
Cece

caileesnana

Trish,
I am sorry your AD is hurting you especially at this time. I have learned that when they are in their addiction, they just don't care! I'd like to say she was greiving her brother or truly in distress, but is sounds likes an addict quacking. I pray she will find her way, and that someone in her life will make a difference. I know deep down she doesn't mean to hurt you and be cruel, it is only easier to lash out at the ones that love you the most.

The bf :uzi2: That's all I have to say! Who does he think he is? He has NO RIGHT to speak to you that way about anything, much less your son. If he had a mind he would know how it would hurt his mother, but he doesn't care and you can't change that!

We care about you here and feel your pain. Please take care of you and know you are loved!
susan

ladyjane

Thank you all. I sit here with my hands shaking at work waiting for the phone to ring again.
I had to promise I wouldn't answer if they call or my husband would not go to work.
Please continue to pray for me. Her abusive abf is trying to find out my grandson's social security number for some reason? I have to make sure they can't get him. I'm so scared for him.
Trish

parentrecovers

trish, i'm thinking about you and sending you all my support. you've been through enough now. you deserve some peace. blessings, k

ctrom40

Trish,

My thought and prayers are going out to you this morning.
I can't even imagine your heartache ....

Maybe, just knowing that so many people here at SR care about you will help ease some of the pain,
because we do care.

Big Chicago hugs,
Colleen

frankie_b

((( ladyjane )))

I'm praying for your protection and peace at this moment . Prayers going out for ad, grandson and all your loved ones.

mooselips

((((ladyjane))))
First let me add late condolences on the loss of your son.
As for your daughter, I can't seem to understand the thinking of her cruelty, and hurtfullness.

I wonder if it's possible to file some sort of phone harrassment charge?
Or at the least a police report...?

Please, take care of you.

Hugs,

BrokenBridges24

I wish I could be there with you and give you a big hug. Your son is in the arms of god. He suffers no more from this pain. I imagine if he was there next to you now Trish he would tell you, none of this was your fault. AS for your daughter, it reminds me of a story my close friend told me about her addict brother. Her older brother died of Aids and after his death the addict brother comes in the house high looks at his mother and said well I hope you feel bad now because I have Aids too. He of course does not and did not. He was sick. His thinking was sick. I asked her what her mother said and she said nothing…she hung her head and said a prayer for him. You never stop loving them but when they are sick like this you should really limit contact. When they call all screaming and stuff. I would simply hang up call 911. Give them her cell phone number and his too. Tell them what they said. Tell the officer if they need to reach you this is your number. Then do not take anymore calls from either of them. You have been through enough. She wants you to hurt because she is sick. She wants you to suffer because she is sick. He says cruel things because he knows it gets you going. So just disengage and let go. The police will handle it. If there is anything happening they will call. You certainly have been through enough these last few months. I would take the rest of the day off and go home and get a hug from your hubby.

We love you. Please take care of yourself. Always know your son is with you. He is better now. He does not want you to ever feel this is any of your fault.


God bless you always,
Broken