Lobo

Friends, I haven't been here for a while, I have been spending a lot of time a my summer home. This past week I was gone for 6 days. My AD stayed at my house only because she had been doing so well. All good things come to an end. I specifically told her by no means is anyone allowed to be in my home when I am gone. Well, the day I left the new bf moved in. They got into a argument and she left the house and he stayed. She called me on Sunday, the day I was due to come home and told me he was at the house and she was afraid of him and he wouldn't leave. I told her to call the police, she wouldn't do it. I told her I was heading right home and I was going to call the police. She said NO don't do that. I headed home and called the police along the way.......they got their before I did. They got him out of my house without any resistance. As I was coming down the street I saw him walking. I of course being my fiesty self had to pull over and let him have it. He said he was only there because my AD wanted him there. Whatever......he then had the nerve to ask me for a ride. I said are you kidding me. He was not getting a ride from me, but I know you will all smack me for this one........I gave him $1.80 to take a bus. Sorry this is so long........Well AD comes in reaking of alcohol. She said she was upset over him. So she gets in her truck and goes out to look for him.
Six hours later I get a call from EMS and thye find her laying in someones backyard passed out. They asked me what they should do, that her sugar was low. I said take her to the hospital. She was coherant at that point and went kicking and screaming. They asked me to meet her at the hospital to see what was going on and I would have to drive her home. Well, needless to say she threw me out of her room shouting obsenities. I ruined her life and all of that quacking. She ran out of the hospital without being discharged. The security got her back in and they put her in a lockdown unit. The question was did I want to 302 her. If she is not suicidal or homicidal, there were no grounds to do that. She was neither of those and I really didn't want them to keep,her against her will because I know that it not being her choice it usually doesn't work out. I have done that before to much avail.
So she had the chioce to stay or leave and it was her choice. I was hopint she would stay, but she didn't. So here we are back to square on with her in active addiction again. I am so worn out, and I had such a nice vacation......too bad it had to end. I just want to go back to my summer home and never come back.
I warned her about anyone staying here and I mean it. And I would call the police again and she knows it. I also was the one who told them to get the police involved when she wouldn't go to the hospital. She hates me right now but I don't care, she is going to get the meassage that I'VE HAD IT.

Lois

ladyamalthea

*hugs*

You did the right thing, regardless of what her addiction is telling her.

*sending prayers your way*

Louise54

You did do the right thing. The drama never ends, does it. Thank goodness you got your vacation in anyway, before you knew about the chaos. Hugs and prayers to you.

marle

Lobo, You did what you had to do. Sometimes it is nice when the addict hates us because then they tend to leave us alone She may be back to square one but you don't have to be. Set those boundaries now while she already hates you. It will be easier when she is needy and not so hateful. Hugs, Marle

krhea75

Sorry for your continuing problems. I totally understand the exhaustion from the drama. I wish I could give you an answer, but just know we are all here for you with love.
krhea

maddie82

I'm so sorry your vacation ended so poorly. So much drama. I think sometimes it's hard to absorb when you're in the midst of it but when I just sit back and read some of the posts I always find myself shocked that these things are really happening to people...everyday! I don't think we could make this stuff up if we tried. My thoughts are with you

parentrecovers

what a mess, i am so sorry. blessings, k

greeteachday

I'm sorry the drama continues...I like Marle's suggestion...set those boundaries now while no matter what she is not happy with you. it makes it easier to enforce. Detaching with love is very difficult sometimes and detaching in anger often precedes it.

Is she back in your home now? For your sake, I hope not. Being in that front row is so difficult. Hugs and prayers

laketime

Lois, Im So Sorry, I Don't Know How We Are Expected To Take All This. I Pray For You And Ad

hope213

all that peace just went out the window.i know how u feel, been there,done that.you did the right thing.i am sorry about the whole mess. take care of you & leave them to sort out the things they have done.stay safe.hugs & prayers,

Lobo

I do like the idea of setting the boundries now while she hates me anyway. I drove her this morning to pick up her truck. I told her not to ask me for gas money or phone cards or cigs. I told her I will not continue to provide her with these things when she is capable of providing for herself. I told her if she has no gas then I guess she will have to park it. I told her she can only have a home with me if she works on recovery and works and gets rid of all of the morons that she hangs out with. If she cannot do that then find a new place to live. These are the things I want as my boundries. Now all I have to do is stick by them.......and that is the hard part.
Thank you for all of your love and support. It makes me feel good just to know that someone understands me.
Hugs............Lo

Wascally Wabbit

Now she knows for sure you mean business. And, I would have given the guy bus money too. Seems like a good thing to do.
You did the right thing. Keep staying strong.

rahsue

G O O D F O R Y O U!!!!!!!!!!!
and prayers for your daughter to find her way back to recovery

Ann

Lois, I'm sorry your vacation ended in drama, it really does wear you out.

Stories like yours remind me of so many of my own and I know that I had to do what I had to do until I just couldn't do it any more.

Prayers for you and your daughter.

Hugs

havehope

I am sorry for your pain with your daughter. Maybe you had a restful vacation so you could deal with this in the right way as you did. I know, I had a really nice vacation away from it all right before I found out about my daughters addiction. I think my HP had me have a good rest before all of the chaos started. Hugs to you from one mom to another. You did the right thing. I'm praying that your daughter finds her true path soon.
Terri

BigSis

Seems reasonable, to me. Sometimes we are just being kind - that's ok, I think.

Wise choice. You do know the drill... time to bolster those boundaries. Get ahold of some good reading material... Codependent No More... Courage to Change... One Day at a Time. Those things help me. As do regular Alanon meetings.

You and your daughter are in my prayers. ((hugs))

caileesnana

Hi Lois,
My computer is broken and I was off yesterday, NO SR for several days either. I am so sorry, I agree you did the right thing. As hard as it is, someone has to do what is right. I'm not sure what a 302 is, but I think she needed to stay. Sounds like she was pretty suicidal to me, but I know, they have to tell the right person they are.

You and Jen are in my prayers,
susan

Spiritual Seeker

LOBO/Lois, hugs and support as you deal with the insanity of AD's addiction.
Even if you take away the alcohol from the alcoholic you are still left with the ICK. We want an ending but in the meantime we just have to deal . Sounds like you are dealing ...though I know it is stressful. Same ole story the A abuses us and they get angry. There is no reasoning, just insanity.