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the denial is unbeliveable

Old 06-29-2007, 08:20 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I threw them out...the lawyer said i could take pictures but that is an illegal substance, so it should go to the police...
i just threw them out so he didnt turn on me and say it was mine....
I have a question--- not all addicts are as manipulative and as cunning and caniving and in my opinion, down right evil.... so is this all a part of the disease, or is it HIM??
Is he really so mean and a person of no integrity? How come some addicts can look at themselves and some can cut through the denial and others cant???
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Old 06-29-2007, 08:23 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Cinderellas mentioned that follicle testing could be compromised, if the hair is too short. Makes sense to me.

Just a question, then. If a person's head is shaved, is it possible to get hair from other parts of the body? Would the density, etc. be the same.

Just curious. Could explain why some active addicts, that I know, have shaved heads.

TIA PNW
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Old 06-29-2007, 08:31 AM
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I agree - let your lawyer handle everything. I think you AH is getting desparate, I am sure he thought you would have caved by now. Don't let him get to you.

I also wouldn't talk to his family - if they ask how you are just say fine.

I think at one point my AH use to beleive the lies he would tell - he could snow anyone. We use to say there could be 3 people in a room, my AH, me, and a family member. Me and the family member would tell the same story, my AH would tell a complete different story and that is the one someone would believe!

Listen to all the great advice -
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Old 06-29-2007, 08:51 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by drainedwife View Post
I have a question--- not all addicts are as manipulative and as cunning and caniving and in my opinion, down right evil.... so is this all a part of the disease, or is it HIM??
Is he really so mean and a person of no integrity? How come some addicts can look at themselves and some can cut through the denial and others cant???
Honey, what difference does it make.....this is what you are having to deal with, whether it is the drug or him, either way the things he has done to you are unacceptable......you and your children are worthy and deserve so much more.....why some can see themselves is up for interpretation, but mostly I feel it is because they have hit bottom and want out....some do and some never do....what you have to decide is do you want to take that chance with your family......

Peace,
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Old 06-29-2007, 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted by drainedwife View Post
does anyone have any info. about the hair folicel test?
he may have been able to keep himself clean over the past month...if so, i was wondering if it would show anything???
I was told that the test is accurate for 'up to' 90 days depending on how often the hair has been cut.

My ex had one done on May 31 (three months to the day AFTER I kicked him out...) and it was negative. Problem with that is, exah is the one who CONTROLLED when he took the test, so it doesn't mean anything. Actually, the fact that he waited exactly three months tells me that he knew it wouldn't be negative until then....

I have a friend who is married to a physician that is a recovering addict; he has to submit to random testing, which is the only thing that is accurate; if the addict can control when he is tested, then the results are useless. The Dr. has to call in to this place every morning and find out if he needs to be tested. He never knows if or when he will be asked to come in, so it really holds him accountable.

Here's the thing-even if your ah has a negative test NOW, that doesn't change anything that happened BEFORE. Don't worry about it.
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Old 06-29-2007, 09:23 AM
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I do not want to take that chance...
I am just scared of what he is going to do to me (ie., divorce proceedings) in order for me to get away from him and have some peace and serenity in my life.
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Old 06-29-2007, 09:35 AM
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thanks du-et.
that is true...it doesnt change anything that happened before.
I just am afraid that sine he is so cunning and coniving and revengeful--who knows what he will try to do or say about me.
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Old 06-29-2007, 09:45 AM
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I have to stop projecting and keep in the present...it is just scary to me that i am dealing with someone who not only is off-kilter and irrational, but someone who will go to any lengths for what he considers to be "retaliation". Like I am the one hurting him...he is the one who has put HIMSELF into this position.
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Old 06-29-2007, 12:53 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Honey, keep taking deep breaths. Stay calm and keep doing what you are doing. Do something to take your mind off it; go to a movie or something.

I know you are scared, but I believe that God will protect you and your children. Ask Him to and then believe Him!

At the rate that he is going, your AH will eventually hang himself without you having to lift a finger.

((((hugs and prayers)))))
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