HKAngel24

Just to jump off of the Language of Letting Go that Ann posted--

I am curious to know what others do when they are in a slump.

I have been attending to my own affairs and doing okay, but today I feel myself reverting to old behaviors- thinking about what abf in rehab is doing a little too much/getting anxiety
That awful inner critic comes back with a vengence and makes you quake in fear when you do things for yourself, afraid that no one will love you or that you will never receive good things.

Enough of the melodrama - but I am just wondering how others get themselves back to focusing on themselves.

liesagain

well...........I do that alot too
and lately I have been getting up taking a shower and going to the book store......reading different things on co depend and looking at me..........then somehow I feel better...........I know that I'm feeling like I am because I am thinking to much and worrying to much so when I stop thinking of him, and stop looking at his problems and spend time looking at mine......somehow I feel better about me............because clearly I have issues too its not just him and I can work on fixing me..........that has made a difference for me I dont feel so trapped

feeling trapped, feeling hopeless and feeling like everything depended on him his drug use his recovery......it takes so much out of me. and as I begin to reallly see that so much of whats happened in my life is from the choices I make I feel like I am regaining some control of me.........they say that here all the time but I am just now really getting it..........it takes awhile
hang in there!

debpug

Hi, I am new to this,and I think about my husband every second he is gone.Today was the first day I was ok,able to do things.No panic,no tears,I think the only thing that can help (other than going back in time) is to talk it out.The message boards are a big help,so let it all out when you need to.Stay strong !

cinderellawkids

you just keep moving, some days its better some its not.
Today at lunch I took my Ah his wallet. He reaked of alcohol. I made a comment, nicely of course and he said if you think Im gonna stop the answer is never. Of course he recanted that statement as soon as he saw I emotionlessly said, ok if thats how it is and went to pull away.
But it just gets to where you accept things, it hurts. Today I can honestly say for the first time (we've been residence separate almost 4 mos. with not a lot of contact) I just hope he's happy, my boundaries stay in place we continue to each move forward, but farther and farther apart. And you know what? That is okay.

It takes time, you slip back but day after day you start to realize youve come along way and there comes a time where you just cant look back, no matter who you are leaving behind.

I knew it occurred that way. I had at 24 become reaquainted with a previous ex, once again was falling head over heels by this time his substance abuse was apparent. He had a cocaine addiction he was masking due to no funds with alcohol.
I remember looking at him one day saying its not even you, the next time he showed at my home bloody nose, broke, allegedly mugged and thinking back intoxicated too, I pointed to the door and said go I will not have this anymore. It wasnt even me speaking. I moped a few days, kept moving forward a few months later I got a phone call late at night froma bartender, he was there passed out his dad had told them to call me. I calmly told the man, I wasnt coming to get him, they served him it was their problem, I got off the phone knowing they were calling the police, I never looked back, never heard a thing from him again. I had forgotten the feeling, of for the first time nothing. I recall it today and am sharing it with you, because once again Im feeling that same feeling although this time with the man I thought Id follow anywhere. We do recover, we do move past the pain a little at a time