Newcomer...

No - fortunately for me, I can't do that. It's a court order. His mother could go back to the court, as the blood relative, and ask to do it.
I'm having a tough time not trying to convince her to petition to have him transferred though to a different program.
He agrees with me that he needed the help - he just thinks I went a little overboard in sending him to the Dept of Correction program. I'm questioning if maybe I did. This is the first time he's ever been in rehab - should I have sent him to a private program first? He does have good health insurance. I don't know...
I have an appointment on Monday morning to speak with the superintendent of the program about his case. She's going to review his file and meet with his counselor. I know I need to put it in their hands. If they think I went overboard and that a voluntary program would be sufficient - fine. If not, I know he has to stay.
I just can't help but think that he got his share of fear and that maybe he can get the treatment someplace else.
I know the responses I'm going to get to this before I even finish writing it. I know I should leave him where he is, and that it's his actions that put him there, and if he hadn't gone out of control, he wouldn't be where he is now. I know all of this. But when the phone rings, and he's telling me he'll go ANYWHERE else, to whatever program I can find for him, it's hard. At least til Monday I can put it off on the conversation I'm having with the superintendent. But what if she tells me I can in fact take him out - then what? Then how do I tell him no?
I hope he meets his counselor next week and they can talk him into staying and make it his choice, not mine, to get him out or not. Or who knows - maybe the counselor will tell us that he doesn't need that level of structure, and a private program would be sufficient.
I'm talking to him again at 1 today. At least I can be grateful that he understands why I did what I did. He almost seems relieved that we got him away from the pills. I know he wanted to stop, but couldn't. And I also know that when he does come home, I'm not going to be able to keep him from starting again. That he is the only one who can make that choice.
I have to get a root canal on Monday. I'm scared to death of dental work. He was supposed to come with me and take me home after. Half of me just wants to cancel the stupid appointment - but I know that I'll just end up with a giant infected mouth if I do.
I know all the things you are telling me, I do. I have given the same advice to others in the past. But giving this advice is so much easier than living it.
Because no matter how much knowledge anyone has about the disease and how it works, it can't keep you from missing that person when they aren't there.

BigSis

1. If he wanted the Ritz, he should've checked in before he trashed the house.
2. Time for "hands off the addict". He earned his bed in DOC rehab... let the process work for him.



((with love))

splendra

Please have mercy on yourself and not his disease.

splendra

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...used-woman.htm
Go have a look at this post...