Took a closer look at the roses..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Edmonton AB
Posts: 285
Took a closer look at the roses..
To find out they were fake! lol
The other day I posted about my AH being clean and how I was starting to fall in love with him again. I asked everyone here if I was being naive..
There were amazing responses and many I took off line, and thought about over the night and day.
My point is that yesterday I decided to go out of my comfort zone and go to a Poetry reading since my son would be with his other grandma for the night.
Something I haven't done in years. I lost ALL of my friends over the year's of being with AH and I thought this would be a good opportunity to feel good again.. meeting friends again.. being me!
WELL, AH had the manipulative BS to go along with my evening out. "What?" he sais, "A Poetry reading?" he then starts to rant about how he "thought" that it would be a better idea if I were to go and see him for a few hours instead.
I said "ahhh, no." Then he accually had the nerve to tell me that would be o.k if I were to go!!! what a (jack*ss)
The last 24 hrs I recieved 4 messages, and 2 times I talked to him. He asked me "who" I went with, "what time did I get back?" then he rambled about how I never went to Poetry readings before.. blablabla
Even though AH IS clean, I remember a post on my thread about someone who said " If all you need is for him to be clean then that's great" (or something like that)
I realize now that I'm not naive.. Iv'e lived with my head in the sand for years. All of the toxic BS came to light again and realized that being clean is NOT enough!
Any way my night at the reading was very therepeutic. I got dressed, jumped in my car all by myself and ordered a glass of red wine when I got there. I listened to about 40 readings and they were so inspiring to me. I remembered what it was like to be ME again! 2 hours later I met some very interesting people and would do it again.
Just my thoughts for tonight! Ta Ta
The other day I posted about my AH being clean and how I was starting to fall in love with him again. I asked everyone here if I was being naive..
There were amazing responses and many I took off line, and thought about over the night and day.
My point is that yesterday I decided to go out of my comfort zone and go to a Poetry reading since my son would be with his other grandma for the night.
Something I haven't done in years. I lost ALL of my friends over the year's of being with AH and I thought this would be a good opportunity to feel good again.. meeting friends again.. being me!
WELL, AH had the manipulative BS to go along with my evening out. "What?" he sais, "A Poetry reading?" he then starts to rant about how he "thought" that it would be a better idea if I were to go and see him for a few hours instead.
I said "ahhh, no." Then he accually had the nerve to tell me that would be o.k if I were to go!!! what a (jack*ss)
The last 24 hrs I recieved 4 messages, and 2 times I talked to him. He asked me "who" I went with, "what time did I get back?" then he rambled about how I never went to Poetry readings before.. blablabla
Even though AH IS clean, I remember a post on my thread about someone who said " If all you need is for him to be clean then that's great" (or something like that)
I realize now that I'm not naive.. Iv'e lived with my head in the sand for years. All of the toxic BS came to light again and realized that being clean is NOT enough!
Any way my night at the reading was very therepeutic. I got dressed, jumped in my car all by myself and ordered a glass of red wine when I got there. I listened to about 40 readings and they were so inspiring to me. I remembered what it was like to be ME again! 2 hours later I met some very interesting people and would do it again.
Just my thoughts for tonight! Ta Ta
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
good for you ! It's good to step out and do something different for a change.
I remember when I first found recovery... I "tried on" various things to see if they fit me. It was fun to watch different kinds of movies, go to different activities and eat different foods - all to see if I liked it or not!
It's never to late to find a new passion or hobby. I wish I lived closer - I'd go to the next poetry reading with you !
Hugs
Cat
I remember when I first found recovery... I "tried on" various things to see if they fit me. It was fun to watch different kinds of movies, go to different activities and eat different foods - all to see if I liked it or not!
It's never to late to find a new passion or hobby. I wish I lived closer - I'd go to the next poetry reading with you !
Hugs
Cat
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
That's great Mavis,
Doing what you like to do. Not being Absorb by
one else's bs. I lost myself for years.
I started playing my guitar again after years of putting
it down.
Not just drinking and using is not enough.....not for me.
The 12 step is a living program...we need to change.
It works both way. if a codi dosn't get well and the alki
dose. They will split like oil and water.
Some codi are still bewilder and can't belive it,
That an alki gets well and leave.
Doing what you like to do. Not being Absorb by
one else's bs. I lost myself for years.
I started playing my guitar again after years of putting
it down.
Not just drinking and using is not enough.....not for me.
The 12 step is a living program...we need to change.
It works both way. if a codi dosn't get well and the alki
dose. They will split like oil and water.
Some codi are still bewilder and can't belive it,
That an alki gets well and leave.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Mavis...I'm so glad you got a great night out and some enlightenment about your own journey too. There are lots of fun parts of recovery...Finding out who I am is a big part of it for me...I never realized that I really had no clue....No wonder life was so often a chore...I wasn't true to me because I didn't know who "me" was! Hugs!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Mavis, recovery also allowed me to get to know that stranger called "me", and the more I did things like you did, the more I gave thought to doing things that were of interest to me and that made me happy...the more I liked that new person called "me".
I'm so glad you went, it sounds like a terrific evening to me. Be true to yourself and keep doing things that are all about you, it's healthy and it helps each one of us grow.
Hugs
I'm so glad you went, it sounds like a terrific evening to me. Be true to yourself and keep doing things that are all about you, it's healthy and it helps each one of us grow.
Hugs
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
your post made me smile, i'm so happy for you, sounds like you had a good time. i remember when i first woke up realizing that i had lost me, and started to do things that would help me reaquaint myself with me, a whole new world seemed to have opened up for me. my relationship with my ah also took on a whole new meaning, it became all about me and not about him. keep the focus on you it only gets better from here, whether your addict gets sober or not. keeping you and yours in my prayers
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
I'm so glad that I read this this morning. I needed to hear your "recovery" story! Finding "me" is so important - it takes time and patience. And no more BS from our addicts.
Way to go!
Way to go!
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Great! Reaching outside our comfort zone to a place we used to go or a new place entirely is, I am convinced, a part of growing in rcovery.
It can be frightening and cause us to hyperventilate mentally, but the results can be so good for getting in touch with ourselves!
Good for YOU!
It can be frightening and cause us to hyperventilate mentally, but the results can be so good for getting in touch with ourselves!
Good for YOU!
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Mavis,
That sounds like a nice evening, relaxing, and a bit of fun mixed in.
IMO, when someone loves you, they WANT you to do what brings a smile to your face, and they want to share you with the world.
Don't settle for less, because you're worth it.
Hugs to you,
That sounds like a nice evening, relaxing, and a bit of fun mixed in.
IMO, when someone loves you, they WANT you to do what brings a smile to your face, and they want to share you with the world.
Don't settle for less, because you're worth it.
Hugs to you,
Living in the light
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Hooray for rediscovering you. Keep doing what makes you glad and happy to be alive. That is the essence of recovery...moving on in our own lives and
feeling good about who we are without the addict stuff overshadowing our precious lives.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. The misery trap is one any one of us can step
away from at any given moment.
I've been following my dreams and doing the things I want to in this life. We have the power to take back our own lives each day.
It feels wonderful to soar.
feeling good about who we are without the addict stuff overshadowing our precious lives.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. The misery trap is one any one of us can step
away from at any given moment.
I've been following my dreams and doing the things I want to in this life. We have the power to take back our own lives each day.
It feels wonderful to soar.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Edmonton AB
Posts: 285
Thank's everyone! I truly had a good time and you know everything happens for a reason. Just when I thought that things looked good between AH and I, he goes and does that. HA! That's WHY I am here and not there!!!
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