cinderellawkids

In this moment I feel peace.
Its been a long yet uneventful weekend. AH relapsed Friday, I survived. He is setting new boundaries on himself and Im leaving it his responsibility.
We still ahve groceries. I splurged on a few new fish and enjoyed my moments to relax.
Its SUnday night, all is quiet, not a peep in this house, not even a mouse (there better not be no rodents.) Kidos tucked into bed, animals fed, AH asleep next to the almost three year old whose pretending to be asleep, Everything is clean, laundry done, even made lunches for tomorrow and coffee is prepped in the pot. This feels good. I feel contentment.

I realized this weekend in between the frog again getting out, the turtles eating my new irradescent shark x3, a back window breaking (the dog) and pizza sauce being spread where it should not, that my life always brings plenty of chaos, with or without addiction and drama, raising 3 lil boys is chaotic. I am comfortable with that, I just ahve to remember to take care of me, which first involves keeping up on my vitamins and eating well.
Somehow through the weekend I managed to watch several movies, color my hair, plant some daisys and have a tennis set with my husband, whose being so patient while I learn poorly.

Today, yes today was just another day in my paradise and I feel peace.

cinderellawkids

I started to add sorry this was off topic, but then I thought about it, and its not really. Its about a chaos driven drama addict codependent finding peace and accepting she cannot control everything around me and the negative has no refelection on me , but how I handle it does

Blackrose2756

Glad you had a good weekend. It is nice when there is peace for awhile since we don't usually have that. And I think you are right on target. It is great to get away from the drama & chaos, if only for a weekend.

cinderellawkids

We actually didnt know if he was gonna make it. I couldnt find him Satruday morning, and we left for the store. AH called in a panic saying frog was on our bedroom floor with cotton sticking everywhere. He was a weird color and stiff. He got him to his tank and the poor thing was dehydrated and barely breathing. COlor returned to normal after about 5 hours, but lifeless. Finally today he was eating and swimming.

Good news-Im no longer worried about him being fat.
If you get one get a tight lid!!!

teke

glad to hear that you are having a good wkend. i pray that things continue the way they are.

cinderellawkids

Im trying to remember Im in control of what I do, how I act and what I feel. As long as I remember that all will be fine.

Thank you everyone for your support and listen to my go on about my animals

greeteachday

I'm glad you are feeling ocntent Cinders...It's a nice feeling, isn't it?

I was thinking what your side of the conversation must have sounded like if someone was listening to you when the frog got loose again,lol!

hopeforever

cindrella!
im happy foru u have agood weekend!!
and that your frog lolol the famous frog is doing good!!
reading ur post made me realize los ofthigs about my life...
thanku for sharring!!!ur an inspirattion!!

Elana

We control our own peace. Thisshows we can have peace amidst chaos if we decide to have it.

How the heck did the dog break the window?

I had a rescue dog once that I never had troubles with but who broke a window in every house he was in (just went thru the glass!). He was crated or with me in my house so I never had the problem.

And that poor froggy! tight lids for jumpinganimals that do not come when they are called is a must!
Glad it turned out OK!

I looked at fish and small tanks this weekend, but did not buy (yet).

cinderellawkids

The patio is called a sunroom here in Florida. The windows in it are 4 paned and open out. It was open and the dog jumped up putting his paws on the bottom pane trying to get the kids attention. Her paws just kept going through it. She's fine but scared the crap out of her.

We have a problem with her jumping and scratching to get in. Of course when in she still chews even with plenty of chew toys

mistt

I experienced that same peace on Sunday. My life is full of problems but yet I felt so peaceful and content. I didn't worry about anything yesterday and if it started to creep back in my mind I just thought o'h well not today. I wish every day was like that.

Cupicake

Wow! You found peace amongst all of that....I have to give you a two thumbs up for that! I could almost feel your contentment and satisfaction.
Good for you Cinder!

cinderellawkids

Funny how peace fades. An hour ago I was angry, once again Im calm. My emotions are the roller coaster right now, not the goings on around me

jenny82

Hey Cinderella,
Your thread was really great to read. The fact that your addict relapsed on Friday and you found peace on Sunday is amazing to me. My fiance is my addict and I am supposed to be marrying him in two months. He has gone to treatment twice, has a counsellor, a sponsor, and attends N/A. I also try to take care of myself as well by having a sponsor that I get together with regularly, as well as lots of reading and regular Nar-Anon meetings.
When my addict came out of his second treatment place in November, he was clean up until a few weeks ago when he relapsed (he had stopped going to meetings for a few weeks - got cocky). I feel that my whole world has been turned upside down due to his relapse and that I have SO much pressure to decide what to do with the wedding RIGHT NOW. I can't help but be outraged by a relapse and question my entire life/future. Everyone is still waiting on an answer from me about this wedding. Part of me wants to go through with it, part of me wonders if this is my chance to get out of a relationship with an addict and save myself from being hurt this way again. With each relapse comes more lies, hurt, distrust, and a huge blow to the strenth of the relationship.
Sorry for rambling, my original point was that your strength really impressed me. You didn't go crazy when he relapsed, you just kept yourself calm/well taken care of and reviewed the boundaries. Me, on the other hand, have packed my stuff...took off to my parents house...and now have them wrapped up in my problems. I go to them because I can't be at the apartment and I need their love and support, but in the end, when I decide to go back to him - I regret that they knew what happened and therefore are even more scared for me and my future. Ahhh!! Sorry again, I am having such a hard time with this decision.

cinderellawkids

Jenny- I ahve to explain. ALmost 4 years ago I was where you are today. Not sure if I would go through with the wedding or not. As a matter of fact noone was sure until Friday afternoon before our Saturday wedding. Ill also say he used the night before.
You know how its the guy thats late to the wedding, it was me who was late. Things got worse after we married, not better for a very long time. I can tell you today if we hadnt married and had a child I would have left a long time ago. I only can be calm the next day because of dealing with it so long, and trust me I wasnt calm that night, sometiems your less prepared and the let down hits you harder.
If your not sure, my advice to you would be postpone the wedding until you are sure.