aztchr

My "ex" and I spent the past 2 days together finishing the cleaning of our house and he finished moving all of the garage stuff. We had some laughs and really just hung out as good friends.

Today we closed and turned over the house to the new owner. It's official and finally done. A bittersweet moment for both of us, but I know I am stronger and won't accept anything unacceptable to me anymore in any part of my life. (I'll be working on this when I return to work with saying no more often and not rescuing other people who should take care of themselves and their own work responsibilities. I've been told I have the Curse of the Competent.)

I'm at peace with my decision to want to live separately. I'd like to remain good friends if possible. We may drift apart, we may become closer in time, lots of time. I'll just have to see what happens without putting my life on hold. I'm just going to take one day at a time and appreciate the lessons he has taught me and what going through this process has taught me. I can't change anyone and it isn't my business to try. Someone more powerful than me knows what is best and will lead me in the right direction.

So far, that direction is back home with my parents, sister and 2 year old niece. I've had the place to myself for the past 3 weeks while they've been on vacation. The first couple of nights were unsettling, but now I've gotten used to being on my own for a little bit. They come home on Monday and I'll readjust to living in a full house again. I keep reminding myself it's only temporary. I'm not going to rush into getting my own place. Next time around, I want to be really sure and not settle for something just to have a place.

Guess I just needed to journal thoughts tonight. I'm trying to stay focused on the future and not live in the "what could have been" stage. The only thing a little unsettling is not having a definition of what we have become.
I'm too concrete sometimes and need explanations, especially if someone asks, I like to have an answer. Any experience with this one? I can't quite grasp the being single part. Mentally, I'm not. To me, I'm still seeing him, but we don't live together anymore. Does it really matter anyway? I don't know. Too much thinking for me, again.

Thanks for reading this long post! This group is wonderful!!

best

If you feel the need to tell others where you are at... trial separation is a good way to say it.


I am remembering when I came back from school...single dorm room and then back to a full house. You will find you need adjust fast. Cute little 2 year old but you can't send him home with mom if ...

Be ready for some adjustments of space and time.

aztchr

I'll probably be an even more frequent visitor to the bookstores when I need some space and peace. I miss reading to my niece. Can't wait for her to get home. She's talking so much more than when she left. She said, "I love you, auntie" on the phone and it was clear as a bell. awww Melted my heart!

megamysterioso

Aztchr-- I'm happy for you that you are in your new place and that you and your AH were able to work together cordially. In the process of moving out of our place, AH and I worked together as a team and it made things much, much easier. I don't think that being friends with an "ex" is a bad thing as long as you continue your own recovery and remember those lessons learned. Your head sounds like it's in the right place IMO. There's nothing wrong with being able to have good relationships with people. If you and your AH make better friends than lovers then so be it. If things happen between you two in the distant future, so be it. Take it one day at a time as you are and you will be fine.