sadface

We have been separated for about 16 mos, married 17 yrs. We used to see each other every day and I started working a second job 6 mos ago. He didn't come over but we talked everyday. I got mad at him and didn't want to talk anymore. It has been about three months since things have changed for my AH and I. I have seen him once in those three months. He has stopped taking my son with him on weekends because he is working as a trucker out of state. He rarely calls my son or I. During that time, he did call twice very drunk...feeling sorry for himself. I believe he has OW and now she is enabling him. A friend saw him about a week ago, and AH told her we are separated. He used to get mad when I told people that. I know in my heart it is over. I don't cry everyday but I do miss him and think about him. I guess I still love him. Last time I talked to him about 10 days ago, he said when he came back, he was going to rehab. He called me at work about three days ago,but I didn't answer because I don't want to argue with him anymore. I see that my 14 year old son misses him. i have planned a week vacation in Canada. I hope this will help both of us and we will bond closer. I have alot to thank God for, I must admit. I have built a little bit of a savings, so I don't worry (not much) about losing my house. I have started Alanon meetings so I hope this missing him will go away for both of us. I read posts just about everyday here and it has helped. I also read "Co-dependents no more" and "For women who love to much." I recommend it to newcomers. It does get better. About a year ago, I used to cry every night and my son would sit beside me and cry with me. Now I am working on myself and trying to be supportive to my son. Thanks.

doubletime

Hello, sadface, "wow" keep up the good work. I hope both of you enjoy your vacation, you both deserve it. I have a son (10 years old), have been seperated for 6 months now and in the process of a divorce. My son and I both have to take a breather, or a good cry everyone once in a while but we both realize it is for the best. We both are so much more relaxed and starting to live again.


Sending ((hugs)) your way.



Doubletime

denny57

((sadface))

yes, keep working on your recovery and every day will get a little better. you can't turn the love you feel off like a faucet, but it will hurt less as time goes by. i'm glad to hear you are attending al-anon and hope it is as helpful for you as it is for me. how about your son? has he tried alateen? i hope you have a great vacation - where are you headed in canada?

sadface

Regarding my son, I took him to the one and only Alateen in town and he was the only one present. We tried a family Alanon, we didn't like it because one of the men said the only way to stop an alcoholic is to put a 45 caliber in him. My son was turned off and so was I. Now I am attending a womens only Alanon and it seems okay. My son doesn't want to try anymore. I am trying to get him to a speakers meeting today, and hopefully try a mens only Alanon later in the week. Eventually, I would like both of us to attend an AA meeting just to understand what they are going through. Doubletime: I see how hard it has been for my son so I can only imagine it is harder for your son at the young age of 10 yrs. old. You do seem like a good and smart mother (I used to cry al the time and it made it harder for my son) I wish both of you the best. Anyway, we are going to Victoria, B.C. we will take the ferry. Because I have 10 days off, we will also stop at Seattle, WA. We need to relax and I hope this will help.