Cindi R

My kids never thought that I was the bad guy...they understood that I did what I had to do.
I tried to get them to attend alateen, but they didn't have a big enough group & didn't feel comfortable there...

gypsyrose

I live in a similar situation. Married 12 years, two boys, 8 & 9, both have disabilities. I homeschool the boys so when AH gets to be too much I can pack up some clothes and books and leave for awhile. When he started getting physically aggressive with me in a way that he thought was acceptable, I disagreed, left for three weeks and I didn't try to talk to him at all during that time. He started attending meetings, reduced his drinking and started treating me better. It's been a couple of months and he's slipping... we'll see what happens next. I haven't much patience left for him. His getting physically aggressive with the boys would be a deal breaker. Right now he focuses all his abuse on me and mostly after the boys are asleep. They are still aware of it and, today, even asked why he tries harder to be nice to them that to me. You might ask why I stick around for any abuse at all... he's capable of being a great husband some of the time and I also know that he's capable of making things very difficult for the boys and I if I leave... I'd go if I thought leaving would make things better. I still might. He gets more abusive as he drinks more. If he keeps losing the battle against his addiction, he'll coninue becoming more distant from me and I from him... if he lays his hands on my boys... WE ARE GONE!

It's great that you have another home to go to. I would go and make life comfortable for my children and myself if I were you. He can always visit when he's able to behave himself. And you can always move back in with him again if he gets better.