Real Reason Ah Said No Aa Meetings
Not a bad place to be....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: LOUISIANA
Posts: 179
Real Reason Ah Said No Aa Meetings
I have sad news to report: I had my suspicions that I AH was seeing another female at his AA meetings and I can now confirm this. That whole spill about him not wanting me at the open AA meetings was because while my son and I were on a cruise about a month ago, he moved in with another recoverying alcoholic who only has about 6 months in the program. I caught him with her last night at her apartment. This man who was once working his program and working on his marriage and said he would do anything to save our marriage has decided that he has met someone who understands him better. She is a 24 year old girl who last year (while intoxicated) (second DWI) ran into the back of a family vehicle and killed the mother and the 6 year old daughter burned to death while being pinned in the vehicle and the officers couldn't get her out in time. I'm not sure why she isn't in prison, but she's not. She thinks she has won my husband but she has yet to learn, he's no prize. She may wish she was in prison when he's done with her. I am chairing my first Al-Anon meeting tonight and I had thought about backing out because I'm so emotional and can't stop crying, but I'm doing this. God's gonna take care of me and give me the strength to get through this one day at a time. It's the only way and I have FAITH, there is a light at the end of this very long dark tunnel.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
(((blue))) I'm sending lots of prayers your way. I am sorry this happened. I KNOW you are going to be AWESOME at your meeting: your HP must have something in mind with this timing. Please keep us informed how you are and how the meeting goes,too.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Hi Blue...I chaired my first meeting at a very low point of my life and it was the best thing I did. Go for it sweetness. I'm proud that you're still doing it and not backing out.
blessings
blessings
Not a bad place to be....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: LOUISIANA
Posts: 179
I just wanted to also add that AH told me that they are just living together, that they have decided not to have sex until the divorce is final out of respect for me. Then right after that, he told me that there is always still a chance for him and me to work out our marriage, just not at this time. Someone is swimming in the river of denial... I would say that I hope he drowns, but I'm trying to be the better person and I have to say I have handled this whole situation with dignity and thank God I will have NO amends to make for the way I have handled this. I gave them my blessing and wished them luck, even though I wanted to strangle them both.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
((blue))
I just chaired my first meeting on Tuesday and sobbed the whole time. Everyone was very nice and understanding about it. It ended up being a great meeting with lots of good shares and by the end I felt great. Good luck with yours.
I know about the OW situation (my AH was/is with a 26 year old). Keep this in mind - she is someone who will not get in the way of his drinking. That is where he is at right now. Geez, does he think it's respectful to lie and live with another woman while he's still married? No sex? Oh boy do they come up with good ones.
You will be fine because you have your faith and are focused on you. Hold your head up - you have much to proud for.
I just chaired my first meeting on Tuesday and sobbed the whole time. Everyone was very nice and understanding about it. It ended up being a great meeting with lots of good shares and by the end I felt great. Good luck with yours.
I know about the OW situation (my AH was/is with a 26 year old). Keep this in mind - she is someone who will not get in the way of his drinking. That is where he is at right now. Geez, does he think it's respectful to lie and live with another woman while he's still married? No sex? Oh boy do they come up with good ones.
You will be fine because you have your faith and are focused on you. Hold your head up - you have much to proud for.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
]Blue, you sound like you are doing the right things and good for you on chairing the meeting.
As for this little piece of info...
[/QUOTE]I just wanted to also add that AH told me that they are just living together, that they have decided not to have sex until the divorce is final out of respect for me[QUOTE]
I dont have to say it, I think you know what I am thinking
Hugs and more hugs.
As for this little piece of info...
[/QUOTE]I just wanted to also add that AH told me that they are just living together, that they have decided not to have sex until the divorce is final out of respect for me[QUOTE]
I dont have to say it, I think you know what I am thinking
Hugs and more hugs.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Having been thru this myself, I know the terrible time you are going thru. Well at least now you certainly don't have to feel any guilt about attending any meeting you chose. You woulkd think that a woman who has killed a mother and child would be trying her best to do things right, Your husband has a real'prize.' hugs, dax
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
Well at least it's out in the open now and if your husband really thinks he's happier with this woman then there's no other option for you than to accept it. He prolly lost a precious thing (you) but sometimes marriages just don't work out. Also I'd say that 24 yrs old woman is prolly traumatized for life and feeling forever guilty for what she's done (I know I would) so don't judge her too harshly. I know you just see her as 'that person who took my man away' but I'm sure there's more to it. Just my $0.02.
Not a bad place to be....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: LOUISIANA
Posts: 179
I'm not judging her as much as I am feeling sorry for her, because she is thinking "Wow, what a knight in shining armour I've met" and wait until she pisses him off and he knocks the crap out of her, but its not my job or business to tell her that. I really feel for her because I remember in the beginning of my relationship with him thinking, "I have found the perfect man". All will be revealed in God's time.
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
(((Blue))) I too am sorry for this deception and betrayal, but I really think that he is doing you a favor. If he ever "knocked the crap out" of you, then he does not deserve to be with you. You will get over your sadness and be a happier and stronger human being when all is said and done. It sounds as though you handled everything incredibly well. Keeping the faith helps. His true colors will show themselves to her in good time.
His true colors will show themselves to her in good time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I a sorry, I know this hurts badly....but in time it will make you stronger...and you will know that you did all you could.
It really isn't at all unusual for A's to replace us immediately....mine went thro
a whole spate of them. Respected none of them.
The table turns...now I am the only one he respects, because I got out of it and did much better for myself.
Because yes, they choose other users or willing enablers.
It really isn't at all unusual for A's to replace us immediately....mine went thro
a whole spate of them. Respected none of them.
The table turns...now I am the only one he respects, because I got out of it and did much better for myself.
Because yes, they choose other users or willing enablers.
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