LaTeeDa

Congrats on getting what you asked for. You have every right to be happy and proud of yourself!

L

pmaslan

That's what I'm talkin' about....WooHoo
Congratulations ....well done!!!!!

Minx1969

TG -

Awesome!!! Glad to hear that it worked out the way I thought it would..I'm so proud of you for asking for what you want salary wise!!

This is a great opportunity for you..

So focus on the job for a while..and let your hubby focus on himself..

I second what jazz said about rehab or 90 in 90..he has to prove himself..

Just remember..your life is about YOU! not about your husband..he is only 1 part of your life..

minnie

Well done, TG.

Regardless of what happens, you did a good thing.

Commuting isn't so bad - you could download some speakers from XA speakers and burn them onto cd to listen to in the car.

I am really proud of you. Tell me, what drove your decision?

TexasGirl

Thank you all. I am so excited right now. I think once I get used to driving that much/often, it will be OK. It takes 21 days to establish a habit. So I'll be a tired zombie for 3 weeks...no biggie, right?

What drove my decision? Although the scale of this go-around is bigger, it's the same thing we've done many times. I would be devastated if I didn't take it, and then he returned to drinking the next day or even the next few months. Then hearing that from everyone here reinforced what I already knew I needed to do.

Even though there will be a difference for me now with the commute, it's a step toward leaving if it should go that way. I will be comfortable in my new job, so there wouldn't be as many transitions at once. Little steps, I guess. I'm breaking one major tie from where we live now...just in case.

As far as my relationship with him, there is only one thing I know for sure. I do not want to live the way we were living. Time will tell.

Cat3

Congratulations on your new job AND your decision to take it.

StandingStrong

I dont have a crystal ball but I do know from my own experiences, as well as those members here - that the majority of the time, they do drink again. It is also a statistic (though I can't remember where I read it) that hardly anyone quits an addiction the first try (regardless of the drug/addiction).
Having taken the job, I believe that was the best thing to do for yourself. I'm glad for you that you got it as well as what you were asking for.
One thing I'd like to remind you though is that you really need to stay focused on you. I tend to see alot of the focus being on him and if/when he drinks again.
I have a post about being a reactor to life - you may want to search it up and read it - as some of the members really layed it out on the line for me. I think you tend to be a reactor too.
Anyways...congrats again!

denny57

Congratulations, TG!

Focus on yourself and more will be revealed. It will be interesting to see if the no drinking sticks now that you've taken the job.

Good luck!

megamysterioso

I'm soooo happy for you TG! That is wonderful news and it is one step closer to getting all the things you want out of life. At least you are giving YOURSELF a fair shake by taking this job. I really thought that if you did not take it, you would somehow regret it down the road.

I can tell you from my personal experience that "cutting down for the sake of the marriage" has not worked in my case. Since my experience has been such, I highly doubt that ANYONE could stop drinking completely for the sole purpose of keeping a marriage together. Alcoholics need to see the wrong in it for themselves and make a change for themselves and NOTHING else. That's how/why I stopped abusing alcohol about 12 years ago. It was no longer "fun" for me or something that I needed and wanted in my life. I saw addiction ruin so many people and I did not want to be one of them. When I was partying and thinking to myself that it was truly "no big deal," there is NO ONE in the world that could have made me quit. That I know.

Congrats again and keep the focus on yourself and this new job. Watch AH's actions and see how far he gets in his efforts. There is no rush here. You will see what you need to see in due time. If he succeeds, that's wonderful. If he doesn't, at least you have an easier transition to make.

goffredo

Congratulations TG and great approach to life: time will tell! Little steps are the best!

Well done!

Love jo

chased

I have been reading your posts and hoping that you would take the job. I moved into my own apartment and left my abf this weekend. It was soooooo hard, but I kept thinking, how would I feel if I stayed and he started drinking again (advise you had given me). He too, had been on his best behavior and really trying for fear of me leaving. Like the other posts have said, they are probably not going to stop until they want to. We can't make them stop. I think that taking the job is a step in the right direction for you. Also, you never know what is going to happen in the future, but you are starting to make a plan for the future that YOU want.

elizabeth1979

You rock girl..Im so glad you asked for the money you wanted!

Cynay

Way to go TG....

Im so glad your taking positive steps.... FOR YOU

and you know what.... If your H does stop drinking you can always look for another position in your area in say a year of his sobriety..... Now that your making more money you could probably get a job in your home town making as much. If he does not stop and you decided to leave... well your pretty set up.

Sounds like a win/win situation to me.