aztchr

I chose to move out of my house and away from abf for the past 3 weeks because I cannot live with his nightly drinking and his denial of having a problem. I know this is the best choice for me right now, but I sure don't like the feeling of being displaced and imposing upon other family members. I can't relax and be comfortable at my own house or at anyone else's right now. I don't feel at peace with my decision, yet. I'm a little bitter that he is not choosing to do anything different until he's forced to if/when we sell the house. I'm trying to detach and do things for myself and feel happy about it, but it's very forced right now. I guess I just have to keep at it and it will eventually be easier. In need of reassurance right now... Thanks!!

StandingStrong

The only reassurance I can really give you at this point as I've not been in your situation exactly, is that the future lies in your hands. You have the opportunity right now to move forward, go backwards, or stayed stalled right where you are. Honestly, it may not feel that way right now, but you do have choices.
I hope that you will continue to read here (the power post thread is one I'd recommend you check out) as well as I hope that you will join Alanon. While not all people do attend the meetings, I think that you may need a support group right now to find others that know how you feel and what obstacles and feelings you are facing.
Though I remember it taking me some time to grasp, I did eventually realize that I had choices and I had opportunities to change. I hope that you will realize that you have those same options. But the changes and the future lies within you and what YOU want.
Stick around and keep posting. I'm sure that someone with a lot more wisdom will post here soon. I just wanted you to know that I'm here to support you as I truly feel for you. I know that it's very hard.

Zoey

aztchr.. HI
I can only add that Al-Anon seems to really help. Go to extra meetings and different ones if possible, maybe you are already.?? Things move slowly sometimes.

I should have gone back on your posts to learn more about you. I will do that.

Keep posting question, fears, whatever it really helps, so keep coming back.

Aquiana

Hi aztchr. It sounds to me like you made a very big step in your recovery. It's hard having to leave your home but at least you've gotten yourself out of a situation you don't deserve to be in. I'm sure it's just a small glitch in the big things to come. I'm sure your family is more than happy to help you out, just continue to let them know how much it means to you. Sounds to me like you did just the right thing, even if for now it doesn't feel so good. Please stick around and read all you can. Keep us posted!

Minx1969

Hi Aztchr,

Welcome to SR from another Valley of the Sun person..I'm sure Cynay (the other Phoenix area SRer will welcome you as well.)

I've been a grateful member of Alanon for almost 2 years and I can tell you that it works. I went because I was upset about my (now) exabf drinking and many other things in the relationship..

I stayed because it has helped me tremendously..

If you aren't a member of Alanon, I'd be more then happy and honored to meet you at your first meeting..just let me know..

Keep posting!

Minx