Guarding myself.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Guarding myself.
Ah had told me the other day that he'd change the oil in my car, rotate my tires, and do a few other things for me when he found out that I was planning to take it into his previous employers to have it done. (Yes, ah is an auto tech) I said that was fine, though he didn't have too. He wanted too so we agreed he'd come get it on his lunch break tomorrow.
Well, that was Friday. Saturday night we ended up in a horrible arguement and I didn't talk to him all day yesterday. (My choice as he did IM me our son's work schedule, I was on hidden mode and didn't respond). Today he IM'd me to remind me he was getting my car tomorrow. I told him that after our arguement Saturday that I did not feel he'd really want too and that I'd not want to ask anything of him, etc. so he is not getting my car to fix. I could tell he was upset but that's not my problem. I then told him that I was logging off the computer and did not want to fight with him but that he'd been very hurtful to me the other night. He made some comment about he knows how that feels. Anyways, I logged off. When I logged back on later, I was invisable. He was not. He sent me a message thinking I was still offline I'm sure. It was basically "(&(*(*&*&$#) one of those deals which to me means swearing, or having a moment of frustration. I did not respond so I doubt he knows that I got it.
Sadly, I was afraid to have ah work on my car. I'm not saying he'd be stupid enough to do anything bad to my car or anything. But it's sad that I don't trust him to work on my car. He made a threat to me many many years ago - that involved being able to fix my car so that it would "look" like an accident. We have discussed that conversation and he admitted that it was a threat to control, etc. and that he'd never really do that - but you know, the trust I have in him has disinigrated enough that I didn't feel 100% secure having him fix my car. What is sadder yet is that I will be taking it to a garage where someone I don't even know will be fixing it for me. Now - is that a sign of how far our lack of trust has gotten us or what!
So I'm guarding myself. Using my gut instincts to protect myself - whether they are unfounded or not, I'm being cautious. Not letting him too close to my heart (or my vehicle - safety). And as I posted in a different thread, I also am starting the process of child support.
Now - if I can just remain strong and remember to keep the focus on what is best for my children and myself.
I told him that his words were hurtful to me the other night.
I did not fight with him.
I logged off the computer.
And I'm taking care of my own car.
Well, that was Friday. Saturday night we ended up in a horrible arguement and I didn't talk to him all day yesterday. (My choice as he did IM me our son's work schedule, I was on hidden mode and didn't respond). Today he IM'd me to remind me he was getting my car tomorrow. I told him that after our arguement Saturday that I did not feel he'd really want too and that I'd not want to ask anything of him, etc. so he is not getting my car to fix. I could tell he was upset but that's not my problem. I then told him that I was logging off the computer and did not want to fight with him but that he'd been very hurtful to me the other night. He made some comment about he knows how that feels. Anyways, I logged off. When I logged back on later, I was invisable. He was not. He sent me a message thinking I was still offline I'm sure. It was basically "(&(*(*&*&$#) one of those deals which to me means swearing, or having a moment of frustration. I did not respond so I doubt he knows that I got it.
Sadly, I was afraid to have ah work on my car. I'm not saying he'd be stupid enough to do anything bad to my car or anything. But it's sad that I don't trust him to work on my car. He made a threat to me many many years ago - that involved being able to fix my car so that it would "look" like an accident. We have discussed that conversation and he admitted that it was a threat to control, etc. and that he'd never really do that - but you know, the trust I have in him has disinigrated enough that I didn't feel 100% secure having him fix my car. What is sadder yet is that I will be taking it to a garage where someone I don't even know will be fixing it for me. Now - is that a sign of how far our lack of trust has gotten us or what!
So I'm guarding myself. Using my gut instincts to protect myself - whether they are unfounded or not, I'm being cautious. Not letting him too close to my heart (or my vehicle - safety). And as I posted in a different thread, I also am starting the process of child support.
Now - if I can just remain strong and remember to keep the focus on what is best for my children and myself.
I told him that his words were hurtful to me the other night.
I did not fight with him.
I logged off the computer.
And I'm taking care of my own car.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
stay strong SS - our guts are our best friends when we listen to them that is!<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZBxdm197YYUS' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/7/7_5_140.gif' alt='Barbell' border=0></a>
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Originally Posted by StandingStrong
So I'm guarding myself. Using my gut instincts to protect myself - whether they are unfounded or not, I'm being cautious. Not letting him too close to my heart (or my vehicle - safety).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I really think I am going to take a few classes in:
1. plumbing
2. simple electic
3. auto repair
to name a few.....it gets tiresome waiting for someone else to do these repairs
that I am not able to do.
SS it's better to be on the cautious side than to take a chance.
Hope you are able to get the car work done soon.
1. plumbing
2. simple electic
3. auto repair
to name a few.....it gets tiresome waiting for someone else to do these repairs
that I am not able to do.
SS it's better to be on the cautious side than to take a chance.
Hope you are able to get the car work done soon.
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