Second Chances are Precious, Indeed
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Second Chances are Precious, Indeed
Thank you so much for all your prayers and support throughout Richard's illness. Here's the update that you've been asking for.
Richard is doing amazingly well. He's still staying with his relatives since it's easier for him to get to his appointments at the VA hospital there, but he's been visiting with me on the weekends, and we're having a great time together.
He checked himself into a two-week in-patient rehab facility, he completed the program, and was released in late December. He appears to be working hard on his sobriety and hasn't had any slips since he became ill in October, although when we were in the market together, I noticed that he paused at the liquor aisle as if he was contemplating buying some. So far, he just looks at it and then walks away.
He had his eyes evaluated by a specialist since he'd lost nearly all of his sight. I thought it was due to his uncontrolled diabetes and would likely be irreversible, but it turned out to be rapidly progressing cataracts, which was good news, since they are correctable.
He had surgery on his right eye last Wednesday and much of his sight in that eye has been restored. He must wait 4-5 weeks to have surgery on his left eye, as the doctors want to make sure his right eye heals properly before proceeding with surgery on his remaining eye.
He's gained about 20 lbs, although he's still very thin. He's eating well, so once his diabetes has been stabilized, he should be able to pick up some additional weight.
The doctors have taken him off insulin and switched him to oral medications for his diabetes. Now it's just a matter of finding the right combination of medication and diet to stabilize his blood glucose levels.
He's been seeing a cardiologist. The doctor said that the top part of his heart isn't beating properly. Instead of pumping the blood, it's simply jumping around, making the lower half of his heart do all the work, and causing it to enlarge. Apparently, the blood is pooling in the top part of the heart, which puts him at a risk of developing a blood clot. So, they've placed him on blood thinners to make it easier for the bottom of his heart to do most of the work. This will hopefully reduce his chances of having a stroke.
He has a follow-up appointment scheduled with the cardiologist. If the blood thinner isn't doing it's job, then the doctor plans to try using an external pacemaker of sorts, where he'll attach it to Richard's chest to stimulate the top portion of his heart into working.
The cardiologist said that basically Richard's heart is worn out from all the drinking, and it's uncorrectable, so the plan now is to just keep it working as long as possible. I guess we'll know more after his next appointment.
I see no signs of short-term memory loss or dementia any longer and no signs of depression, either. He seems to be happy, upbeat, and in a good place emotionally. He's a joy to be around and I'm cherishing every moment of our time together. I'm glad that I didn't give up on him. And I'm even more glad that he didn't give up on me. If we had, we would have missed this time together, and it's been our best time yet.
I continue to pray daily that Richard will be able to maintain his sobriety, since I know that sobriety is so very fragile. Regardless of whether he's able to maintain sobriety or not, I've decided to be thankful for every minute that he's sober and enjoy this time together.
This has been a difficult experience to say the least. But it's been a learning experience as well. I've learned that sobriety is fragile and life is fragile, too, and we have to grab the good moments when they're presented to us and learn to make the best of things when times are bad. And most of all I've learned that it's important to tell the people I care about that I love them every chance I can because you never know when it could be your last opportunity to do so.
Every once in a while, we get a second chance in life. A second chance to make things right. A second chance to say I love you. Second chances are precious, indeed.
Richard is doing amazingly well. He's still staying with his relatives since it's easier for him to get to his appointments at the VA hospital there, but he's been visiting with me on the weekends, and we're having a great time together.
He checked himself into a two-week in-patient rehab facility, he completed the program, and was released in late December. He appears to be working hard on his sobriety and hasn't had any slips since he became ill in October, although when we were in the market together, I noticed that he paused at the liquor aisle as if he was contemplating buying some. So far, he just looks at it and then walks away.
He had his eyes evaluated by a specialist since he'd lost nearly all of his sight. I thought it was due to his uncontrolled diabetes and would likely be irreversible, but it turned out to be rapidly progressing cataracts, which was good news, since they are correctable.
He had surgery on his right eye last Wednesday and much of his sight in that eye has been restored. He must wait 4-5 weeks to have surgery on his left eye, as the doctors want to make sure his right eye heals properly before proceeding with surgery on his remaining eye.
He's gained about 20 lbs, although he's still very thin. He's eating well, so once his diabetes has been stabilized, he should be able to pick up some additional weight.
The doctors have taken him off insulin and switched him to oral medications for his diabetes. Now it's just a matter of finding the right combination of medication and diet to stabilize his blood glucose levels.
He's been seeing a cardiologist. The doctor said that the top part of his heart isn't beating properly. Instead of pumping the blood, it's simply jumping around, making the lower half of his heart do all the work, and causing it to enlarge. Apparently, the blood is pooling in the top part of the heart, which puts him at a risk of developing a blood clot. So, they've placed him on blood thinners to make it easier for the bottom of his heart to do most of the work. This will hopefully reduce his chances of having a stroke.
He has a follow-up appointment scheduled with the cardiologist. If the blood thinner isn't doing it's job, then the doctor plans to try using an external pacemaker of sorts, where he'll attach it to Richard's chest to stimulate the top portion of his heart into working.
The cardiologist said that basically Richard's heart is worn out from all the drinking, and it's uncorrectable, so the plan now is to just keep it working as long as possible. I guess we'll know more after his next appointment.
I see no signs of short-term memory loss or dementia any longer and no signs of depression, either. He seems to be happy, upbeat, and in a good place emotionally. He's a joy to be around and I'm cherishing every moment of our time together. I'm glad that I didn't give up on him. And I'm even more glad that he didn't give up on me. If we had, we would have missed this time together, and it's been our best time yet.
I continue to pray daily that Richard will be able to maintain his sobriety, since I know that sobriety is so very fragile. Regardless of whether he's able to maintain sobriety or not, I've decided to be thankful for every minute that he's sober and enjoy this time together.
This has been a difficult experience to say the least. But it's been a learning experience as well. I've learned that sobriety is fragile and life is fragile, too, and we have to grab the good moments when they're presented to us and learn to make the best of things when times are bad. And most of all I've learned that it's important to tell the people I care about that I love them every chance I can because you never know when it could be your last opportunity to do so.
Every once in a while, we get a second chance in life. A second chance to make things right. A second chance to say I love you. Second chances are precious, indeed.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
All good news FD!
Thats really very ood that they have switched him to oral meds from insulin! A sign of better management of the diabetes I think.
Thre are better things in this world than irreversible heart disease, but certainly are worse as well. Im so grateful for your blessings
Thats really very ood that they have switched him to oral meds from insulin! A sign of better management of the diabetes I think.
Thre are better things in this world than irreversible heart disease, but certainly are worse as well. Im so grateful for your blessings
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
What a marvelous post...One of the few positive ones we get to see...2 people who have been given a second chance. Once in a lifetime sort of thing wouldn't you say.
You'll remain in my prayers.
Blessings and grace to you and Richard.
You'll remain in my prayers.
Blessings and grace to you and Richard.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Yes, it's a once-in-a-lifetime sort of thing, I have to agree. Remember the sweet man I yearned for when I first joined the forum--the one whom I described as being so lost in his addiction that I rarely saw a glimpse of the man he used to be?
Well, it turns out that my sweet man was there all along. Not in some distant, unreachable place, but hidden just below the surface. Perhaps he was there all along and I just couldn't see it. Perhaps I was so focused on his drinking and doing everything in my power to control his behavior that I failed to see all the good things he had to offer.
Perhaps I didn't lose him to alcohol. Perhaps in the process of trying to live his life for him, I simply lost myself.
Well, it turns out that my sweet man was there all along. Not in some distant, unreachable place, but hidden just below the surface. Perhaps he was there all along and I just couldn't see it. Perhaps I was so focused on his drinking and doing everything in my power to control his behavior that I failed to see all the good things he had to offer.
Perhaps I didn't lose him to alcohol. Perhaps in the process of trying to live his life for him, I simply lost myself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
FD - You've touched on so many things I've ended up pondering about, second chances, where we focus, and living in the now.
For myself I'm begining to realise that alcoholism is taking me on one of the most fundemental journeys in learning. It's re-awakened so much from acedemic study to my ideals and ethics, it's teaching me so much in presenting problems that force me to look deep inside at myself.
I used to say riding was like standing in a mirror with no clothes - only it wasn't a body mirro, it was YOU. If I scared horses placed that in front of me, if I was cruel they did the same, if I was inpatient I couldn't avoid seeing it, if I was kind it was there to. My sense of success and failure rose and fell, then rose again but I couldn't avoid seeing it. Wherever I was on any given day a horse would show me who I was on that given day.
I think alcoholism is now asking of me to not just see but understand myself, but just like the horses, whatever I am on any day is placed in front of me rather than hidden.
For myself I'm begining to realise that alcoholism is taking me on one of the most fundemental journeys in learning. It's re-awakened so much from acedemic study to my ideals and ethics, it's teaching me so much in presenting problems that force me to look deep inside at myself.
I used to say riding was like standing in a mirror with no clothes - only it wasn't a body mirro, it was YOU. If I scared horses placed that in front of me, if I was cruel they did the same, if I was inpatient I couldn't avoid seeing it, if I was kind it was there to. My sense of success and failure rose and fell, then rose again but I couldn't avoid seeing it. Wherever I was on any given day a horse would show me who I was on that given day.
I think alcoholism is now asking of me to not just see but understand myself, but just like the horses, whatever I am on any day is placed in front of me rather than hidden.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
