Rose56

I'm not sure what I am doing lately to improve me. I need to recommit to attending my Alanon meeting and maybe finally get to that fourth step. I just read the book "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. Wow, what a powerful portrayal of an addict's experience. It is the story of his 6 weeks in a treatment center. I was surprised at how low the percentage of people that recover from serious addiction/alcoholism. Scary. The author does not believe in AA or the steps, but I noticed his 4th step inventory and 5th step was very freeing for him. It seemed to work. It made me think more seriously about taking my inventory. I must say that I am afraid of doing this, there are many things I have done, or not done, that I am ashamed of.

I am still feeling pretty nervous about finances. What's a girl to do?

Minx1969

One suggestion I was told by my sponsor (and other sources) about the financial insecurity..

If you are feeling nervous, give some $ away..That's right, donate $20 or so to a charity..

It's important to understand that your HP always gives you what you need..

Cynay

You would not be human if you were not worried about the 4th.

Took me awhile to process that one, and this is after alot of counceling and accepting where I came from, why I did/do what I do etc...

I actually had to detach when I sat with my sponsor to go over it.... sometimes things can hit pretty deep... but in the end it was cleansing, and affirmed that Im human and forgiveable... for me it starts with giving it to God and then not only accepting his grace, but forgiving myself.

*shrugs* just my viewpoint is all

Gabe

Well Rose, it's an honest program and all that.
And we can't be honest with anyone else until we get honest with ourselves.
We are all human and we all have our faults.
Acknowledging them and making amends is part of the healing process.
Instead of being scared of it, consider it with grace.
It's just another step on the journey.

Zoey

Some are claiming that James Frey lied.
He is to be on Larry King tonight.
I am glad he mentioned the 4th and 5th steps, they are so important.

My second one was so much better than my first.

equus

I try to turn past mistakes into something positive. I've done some awful things but the positive side of that is not being judgmental when I see other folk making lesser mistakes. The behaviour might be wrong but I know I didn't suddenly become awful as a person.

I think seeing a flaw is good too, it's part of learning - I think we notice most when someone else appears to never see what they do wrong, then I feel sorry because they lose all those opportunities to learn.

Last of all if I want to value other people despite mistakes it won't work for long unless I can value myself despite mistakes. If I keep saying I am bad because ..... then when I see ...... in someone else won't I be more likely to think the same, that they are bad?

On the finance side I try not to solve every problem at once, I don't think we'll starve and anything else can be dealt with as it arises. I'm determined that we start to live within our means though - however tight that is!

robina

All my real healing started after I completed my 4th and 5th steps.

After I did my 4th, I stopped blaming other people for my unhappiness.

Five

A forth step did help me. It was very interesting to see patterns of fears.

Its probabley the only part of the steps that helped me.

Rose56

Thanks Friends, I am going to take step 4 this month, it's about time. I agree Equus that facing what I have done, helps me be less judgemental about others. I think the 4th step will be freeing as sometimes these things I have done in the past haunt me. I really want to get beyond them. I also agree that though the behaviors have been wrong or misguided, but in the end I did not become an awful person. Thanks for that.

Thanks Minx, for your insight on the financial stuff. I do need to trust in my higher power to take care of me. Honestly, I don't worry so much about not having enough to eat or shelter, but about not having the "extras". I do trust my HP will give me what I need, so I guess I have to get my wants in line with that. On the other hand, sometimes I discount my needs and pretend that they are wants and that I can do without them. Food for thought.