New Year Thoughts.............
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
New Year Thoughts.............
Good Morning Friends on this last day of 2002. It has been a year of progress for me, mostly through this message board and all of you and also through my Alanon meetings and sponcer. I was hoping to have a new outlook on life and my situation by this time. I have made some progress with my understanding of alcoholism as an illness and the characteristics of alcoholism that I thought were just my husband's character defects. I have made small strides in detaching from him and the problems he creates. I have developed a new support system, now I have Alanon friends that understand where I am and where I have been. I have nurtured a new habit of putting my own needs first by coming to this message board frequently and attending several Alanon meetings weekly. I also spoke with my father about my childhood and events and circumstances I did not understand. All of these things are progress for me.
I had hoped that I would have a clear understanding of whether I wanted to continue to stay in my marriage or separate and move in another direction. I find myself in the same state of ambivalence that I have lived in for many years on this topic. I had hoped to understand what benefits I receive out of my relationship with my husband. What keeps me here and is the reason healthy or a crutch? I pray for direction from God but I haven't been able to hear or understand the reply. Perhaps the reply is "wait, more will be revealed to you". However, I don't feel the overwhelming sense of despair about not being able to decide about this issue. I trust the process, even though I don't see where or how I am going to resolve this ambivalence.
I hoped I would have made more progress into my fourth step inventory. What are my character defects and how do I correct them or learn to live with them more effectively? I haven't truly begun to use my sponcer to help me move through the program.
I do not feel despair as I think of the things I wanted to accomplish this past year. I have worked diligently and courageously to bring about personal growth and change. I will continue to try to accomplish these goals in 2003, this may be the year!
What am I looking for from you, my friends, today and through 2003? Encouragement, caring, insight, and honest feedback on my thoughts, fears, and hopes for the future. I know I can count on you to provide me with this as you have over the past year. Many thanks for your love and support over the past year and in anticipation of continued support over the new year. Happy New Year and love to you all.
I had hoped that I would have a clear understanding of whether I wanted to continue to stay in my marriage or separate and move in another direction. I find myself in the same state of ambivalence that I have lived in for many years on this topic. I had hoped to understand what benefits I receive out of my relationship with my husband. What keeps me here and is the reason healthy or a crutch? I pray for direction from God but I haven't been able to hear or understand the reply. Perhaps the reply is "wait, more will be revealed to you". However, I don't feel the overwhelming sense of despair about not being able to decide about this issue. I trust the process, even though I don't see where or how I am going to resolve this ambivalence.
I hoped I would have made more progress into my fourth step inventory. What are my character defects and how do I correct them or learn to live with them more effectively? I haven't truly begun to use my sponcer to help me move through the program.
I do not feel despair as I think of the things I wanted to accomplish this past year. I have worked diligently and courageously to bring about personal growth and change. I will continue to try to accomplish these goals in 2003, this may be the year!
What am I looking for from you, my friends, today and through 2003? Encouragement, caring, insight, and honest feedback on my thoughts, fears, and hopes for the future. I know I can count on you to provide me with this as you have over the past year. Many thanks for your love and support over the past year and in anticipation of continued support over the new year. Happy New Year and love to you all.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Rose,
You are an inspiration. You are so right that you have worked courageously at your program. You are trusting it blindly because you see it can work. You are trusting it patiently because you have been told that is how it works. You have made progress and you can see it.
When I first met you here you were in such dispair and that is no longer the case most days. You have managed to detach and concentrate on you. You are not fighting it, you are embracing it.
When I entered Alanon, I felt I had no choice but to listen. What I was doing was making me miserable. I attended meetings, lots of them, and I did what they told me. I didn't always trust, but I wanted what they had. I wanted to move forward faster but I was told to be patient so I learned to be patient.
Today I look for your posts and read them as soon as I see them and you have never failed to show progress. Sometimes monumental progress.
You remind me of me. Slow and steady and making myself trust. There are things I needed to "get" before I moved on. It took a couple of years before I made the decision to make the Beav move out. But when I did, I KNEW. You will too.
Happy New Year Rose!!!
JT
You are an inspiration. You are so right that you have worked courageously at your program. You are trusting it blindly because you see it can work. You are trusting it patiently because you have been told that is how it works. You have made progress and you can see it.
When I first met you here you were in such dispair and that is no longer the case most days. You have managed to detach and concentrate on you. You are not fighting it, you are embracing it.
When I entered Alanon, I felt I had no choice but to listen. What I was doing was making me miserable. I attended meetings, lots of them, and I did what they told me. I didn't always trust, but I wanted what they had. I wanted to move forward faster but I was told to be patient so I learned to be patient.
Today I look for your posts and read them as soon as I see them and you have never failed to show progress. Sometimes monumental progress.
You remind me of me. Slow and steady and making myself trust. There are things I needed to "get" before I moved on. It took a couple of years before I made the decision to make the Beav move out. But when I did, I KNEW. You will too.
Happy New Year Rose!!!
JT
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Happy New Year Rose!
Congratulations on all the progress you have made. Remember, we only have to face the new year one day at a time. Thanks for being a part of this big ol' posturepedic family (soft, but lots of support).
Hugs!
Smoke
Congratulations on all the progress you have made. Remember, we only have to face the new year one day at a time. Thanks for being a part of this big ol' posturepedic family (soft, but lots of support).
Hugs!
Smoke
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Happy New Years Rose
We move forward, one baby step at a time. The growth and recovery you have gained since I first met you here is an inspiration to me and everyone who knows you.
May you find all the happiness you deserve in the New Year, and continue to share the journey with us.
Love you Rose - Happy New Year.
We move forward, one baby step at a time. The growth and recovery you have gained since I first met you here is an inspiration to me and everyone who knows you.
May you find all the happiness you deserve in the New Year, and continue to share the journey with us.
Love you Rose - Happy New Year.
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