Rose,
You are an inspiration. You are so right that you have worked courageously at your program. You are trusting it blindly because you see it can work. You are trusting it patiently because you have been told that is how it works. You have made progress and you can see it.
When I first met you here you were in such dispair and that is no longer the case most days. You have managed to detach and concentrate on you. You are not fighting it, you are embracing it.
When I entered Alanon, I felt I had no choice but to listen. What I was doing was making me miserable. I attended meetings, lots of them, and I did what they told me. I didn't always trust, but I wanted what they had. I wanted to move forward faster but I was told to be patient so I learned to be patient.
Today I look for your posts and read them as soon as I see them and you have never failed to show progress. Sometimes monumental progress.
You remind me of me. Slow and steady and making myself trust. There are things I needed to "get" before I moved on. It took a couple of years before I made the decision to make the Beav move out. But when I did, I KNEW. You will too.
Happy New Year Rose!!!
JT