velma929

I got home from work today, AH was already drunk at 3:30. He got home from work at 1. We had decided we'd have "Christmas" on New years eve to take advantage of sales and stay out of the crowds. He wanted a $300 cordless drill for Christmas, he told me a couple weeks ago. I wanted a bird feeder. So tonight he says to me, "I'm only making $10 an hour, maybe I could make you a bird feeder." Ahem. He's got $300 a month to spend on beer and Shmirnoff ice.

Now, AH can make some swell stuff when he puts his mind to it, he just won't get around to it .

My Dad died earlier this month.

I should be grateful, I know. Our house is paid for, even if it is "The House of Perpetual Renovation."

Dad was with us for 86 years- a long life, even these days.

The store where I was hired for temperary Christmas help has asked me to stay part time after Christmas, so even if in my own mind, my performance is lacking, they have found it adequate.

I should consider myself lucky that I have the physical and mental health to hold a job, when so many in our society don't. I'm just having a glass-half-empty, high maintainance night.

Pick-a-name

Me,too.............be good to yourself.

I'm sorry about your dad; holidays without a loved one are difficult, I know.

splendra

(((velma)))

I hear ya me too...

kodfishy

Me too.
It's Christmas Eve and I just keep saying to myself, "one day at a time." I only have to live through Christmas Eve once a year. Just once.

I can do something for 12 hours....

somebodysfool

I think it's great that emotions can be identified. I like the thought of having to make it through just one Christmas Eve. This is the first holiday without my husband in 20 years and tonight he picked up our teenage boys. So it will be the first Christmas morning the 5 of us won't be together in the morning. It's making me cry. I hate this damn disease. But then I am mad I am without my boys. But then I am glad for some downtime. Lonely, confused, sad, very sad. Easily aggravated. The weirdest Christmas ever. At least I am well aware of why this one sucks as compared to last year when my husband just started pulling away.

Oh, well.
J

cloudy

(((Hug)))

reader

I am sorry ur having a bad day and the loss of your Dad is so hard especially around the holidays. My dad has been dead almost 20 years now. Ever holiday I go into a little funk!
Even though he drank, every holiday we would do an Irish jig and laugh so hard. To tell u that time will heal u would be a lie, there will always be a hole in your heart that only dad's fill. At least u will have a part time job after the holidays, you must have worked out for them to keep u if u were only hired for the holidays! I think it is a great idea to have x-mas at the New Year, I have often suggested that too, but since the kids still believe in Santa we will have to wait till they grow up some. Keep ur chin up, I hope things look up for u soon. With love,