emily33

I have been on SR for almost two years now, I have changed names on here because my H came on this board and read all my posts, I pm'd alot of people to let them know it was me. I didnt want to start over, and I wanted people to know who I was, changing names for me worked really well.

I have learned a tremendous amount of very good information on this site. I have grown a great deal as a person and I am working really hard on recovery for myself.

I can say that my situation has changed a great deal, because I have changed a great deal, this is something that I have control of.

I was in denial for a long time, I feel stronger as a person than I did two years ago. IMO, when you are working a recovery program, it takes for some alot longer than it does others to even realize that they are sick, or that they are enabling, or that alcohol is a family disease. This was the only place I could go and be me 100% me. This place was a place I felt like I fit in, I could be myself, be honest, be open, a place to vent, a place to journal, and for the most part a place for understanding from others and knowing that I was and am not alone.

When I came to SR I was in complete desperation, I was reaching out, reaching out to anyone, at this point my friends and family were tired of listening to me, all they could say was get out, I lost so many of my friends and became very distant from my family members. I felt like I didnt have anyone.

There are always going to be differences of opinions, but I can tell you for sure, take what you want and leave the rest, is a very hard thing for me to do. This is one of my issues that is a constant work in progress, I have to work really hard about not worrying about what others think of me, and what others opinions are of me or what they think I should or should not be doing.

SOMETIMES I think that statement is used as an excuse for bad behvior.
I am a very sensitive person with alot of self esteem issues and I sometimes cant help the way I read things. I have built enough confidence in myself, and worked the program long enough that I can pull some of my alanon tools out which help, but I still second guess sometimes.

What about people who are new to recovery or are posting for the first time??

Reading some of these posts lately have been awful and has been very oposite of what I have come to know. I think judging should be left to my higher power who I choose to be God. I have learned also that I need to stay on my side of the street and keep that clean with not just the Alcoholic in my life, but in every walk of life
The greatest gift I am learning is to forgive myself, which in turn has enabled me to forgive others.

Cap3

Heard it said many times,in recovery rooms,that the more folks lash out at others,the more love,that they are needing.
Its always in my own choices to be hurt,or not.I could choose to,stand on my moral/spiritual hill-top.{Im into hill-tops today,lol}.and correct this person,to my own,understanding of how they should behave and speak to others.
Or i can ,get out of myself,and,take time,and talk with the hurting folks,that lash out at me,or others,and,get to know them better.Find out whats really the issue here.Opening my mind/heart to them.
Folks never,lash out at others for the reasons that we think that they are.Somethings deeper going on.,and it has nothing to do with me,it,may only directed at me,for the moment.When im sharring and folks get offended,this is not my issue,.They have made a decision to be offended...They choose this for themselves and could have chosen many other things.,besides being offended..In a perfect world everyone is ,in agreement,kind,loving,each other,at all times.Life on lifes terms doesnt happen this way.In recovery rooms,online,,etc,,etc.Keeping my side of the street clean,forgiving others ,has been whats effective in my life.And opening my mind/heart to others.