Nightmares
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: falls church, va
Posts: 113
Nightmares
As some of you know, I am in the process of moving away from the alcoholic in my life. I will be moving out of the house my mom and I have been renting. It's not just the alcohol that is making me leave, there are many factors, but it is a long story.
Well, I have been staying with my boyfriend for the most part because being at home with my mom is too heart wrenching for me. She doesn't want treatment (we are doing an intervention next week and maybe this will help). I have noticed that when I do sleep at the house, I have what I call nightmares and they always center around my mom and her health. I've had the dreams where I find her dead, I've had dreams where half of her body is bloated and swollen. I've had dreams where she is just a shell, not speaking, not moving, not blinking. I've been to the hospital in my dreams. I've had to call 911 in these dreams.
Last night's dream was of her and I in the house, talking. She starts going to get her wine, her glass of port, and I grab her arm. Her arm was so skinny that it was just bone. I looked at her and her face looked exactly the same as in real life. I started screaming, in my dream, at the top of my lungs for help, for guidance, for understanding. I woke up in the middle of that scream.
I hate these dreams. They leave me with dread and sadness throughout the rest of the day. They remind me of losing my mom. They remind me that this battle has been going on for so long. These dreams are a subconscious reminder of alcoholism and my mother's deteriorating health. I wish I could still drift into sleep softly and quietly. I wish I still had dreams of flying, driving, "sunshine-y" days, etc.....but instead every night I stay in that house, I have a dream, a nightmare about something that hurts me so badly but yet, I can't change. I wake up with a knot in my gut and my mind racing. I wake up with the same feeling of my dream last night, have a choked silent scream stuck inside deep inside.
Well, I have been staying with my boyfriend for the most part because being at home with my mom is too heart wrenching for me. She doesn't want treatment (we are doing an intervention next week and maybe this will help). I have noticed that when I do sleep at the house, I have what I call nightmares and they always center around my mom and her health. I've had the dreams where I find her dead, I've had dreams where half of her body is bloated and swollen. I've had dreams where she is just a shell, not speaking, not moving, not blinking. I've been to the hospital in my dreams. I've had to call 911 in these dreams.
Last night's dream was of her and I in the house, talking. She starts going to get her wine, her glass of port, and I grab her arm. Her arm was so skinny that it was just bone. I looked at her and her face looked exactly the same as in real life. I started screaming, in my dream, at the top of my lungs for help, for guidance, for understanding. I woke up in the middle of that scream.
I hate these dreams. They leave me with dread and sadness throughout the rest of the day. They remind me of losing my mom. They remind me that this battle has been going on for so long. These dreams are a subconscious reminder of alcoholism and my mother's deteriorating health. I wish I could still drift into sleep softly and quietly. I wish I still had dreams of flying, driving, "sunshine-y" days, etc.....but instead every night I stay in that house, I have a dream, a nightmare about something that hurts me so badly but yet, I can't change. I wake up with a knot in my gut and my mind racing. I wake up with the same feeling of my dream last night, have a choked silent scream stuck inside deep inside.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
Oh my!
Hi Jen,
That is so terrible. Have you been to a doctor and tried some anti depressants. They have helped me. Maybe some sleep aid?
I hope the intervention goes well, I hope you Mom finds the light again.
How will the intervention work...just like the TV show? How much will it cost?
That is so terrible. Have you been to a doctor and tried some anti depressants. They have helped me. Maybe some sleep aid?
I hope the intervention goes well, I hope you Mom finds the light again.
How will the intervention work...just like the TV show? How much will it cost?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hey Jen.
This is kind of a rehash of what Idge said.
A lot of our "dream material" comes from what we're thinking about before we go to sleep.
Maybe it would help if you took some time before going to bed to get your mind in a positive framework.
If that's not possible (and sometimes it isn't) maybe you can spend some time letting go of the fears you are holding in your heart.
If writing is your thing, putting all this stuff down on paper or on the computer screen is a good way of getting it out before you end your day.
Take heart, the nightmare thing is generally only a temporary setback.
This is kind of a rehash of what Idge said.
A lot of our "dream material" comes from what we're thinking about before we go to sleep.
Maybe it would help if you took some time before going to bed to get your mind in a positive framework.
If that's not possible (and sometimes it isn't) maybe you can spend some time letting go of the fears you are holding in your heart.
If writing is your thing, putting all this stuff down on paper or on the computer screen is a good way of getting it out before you end your day.
Take heart, the nightmare thing is generally only a temporary setback.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: falls church, va
Posts: 113
Guy, let's see.....
As for the anti depressants, my psychologist is trying to get me to see a psychiarist but I've been on meds before and I personally don't like them. Don't get me wrong, they've helped and continue to help lots of people, but for me.....I just don't want them.
Getting to sleep and sleeping isn't really my problem. My probelm is waking and immediately thinking about this situation because of my "nightmares". This only happens to me when I'm in the house (well, almost always), hence my reasoning for thinking once I move these dreams will dissapate (hopefully). I think taking a more relaxing approach to sleep, as Idget said, will help. I am actually going to try the bubble bath idea tonight. Trust me, something I have neglected lately....and that's myself. I can't wait to get home, now.
As for the intervention....they can cost a pretty penny. Anywhere from a couple hundred dollars to $5500 (which was the highest I was quoted). Many of these were just WAY too expensive for me. I ended up getting lucky and got in contact with a woman that works as a subtance abuse consulor through the county I live in. She will be doing it for free. You will find that people understand that the cost of getting someone into treatment can be through the roof and many of the people in this line of work will go out of there way to try to help in any way possible. The intervention will not be like that on TV. Everyone I have talked to has stressed that fact. I think because some people might feel it allows for false hope.
Please feel free to PM me, as I know you are researching ways to help your ex right now and I have been doing a lot of research in the past month on treatment centers and interventions. I would be willing to share any and all of the information I have found.
As for the anti depressants, my psychologist is trying to get me to see a psychiarist but I've been on meds before and I personally don't like them. Don't get me wrong, they've helped and continue to help lots of people, but for me.....I just don't want them.
Getting to sleep and sleeping isn't really my problem. My probelm is waking and immediately thinking about this situation because of my "nightmares". This only happens to me when I'm in the house (well, almost always), hence my reasoning for thinking once I move these dreams will dissapate (hopefully). I think taking a more relaxing approach to sleep, as Idget said, will help. I am actually going to try the bubble bath idea tonight. Trust me, something I have neglected lately....and that's myself. I can't wait to get home, now.
As for the intervention....they can cost a pretty penny. Anywhere from a couple hundred dollars to $5500 (which was the highest I was quoted). Many of these were just WAY too expensive for me. I ended up getting lucky and got in contact with a woman that works as a subtance abuse consulor through the county I live in. She will be doing it for free. You will find that people understand that the cost of getting someone into treatment can be through the roof and many of the people in this line of work will go out of there way to try to help in any way possible. The intervention will not be like that on TV. Everyone I have talked to has stressed that fact. I think because some people might feel it allows for false hope.
Please feel free to PM me, as I know you are researching ways to help your ex right now and I have been doing a lot of research in the past month on treatment centers and interventions. I would be willing to share any and all of the information I have found.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
