TexasGirl

Sorry I'm posting another thread, but I have a question.

The past week, my H has been so good. I think it stemmed from him recently finding out that his boss was starting to ask questions about his drinking. He has continued to drink, but he has never gone overboard, he has not gone out with friends, he has not been extreme. He has not fallen asleep on the couch, and he has come to bed with me every night. We even went out together Friday night (I know...that's probably a big no-no), I had 2 glasses of wine and he had 4 beers...casual drinking like we used to, and we went home early. It's really throwing me for a loop. Is this a phase of being an A, or is it possible that maybe I've been wrong about him all along, that maybe he is growing up?

michski

Some people can do it.. I couldn't but I know some who just have the power of their own convictions and stick to the rules they've made.

I'm hoping he can do it. I just hope he doesn't lose his job in the process of attempting to find out if he can indeed do some controlled drinking. Sounds like it could be a pretty expensive experiment!

mchockfan

Personally, I have fooled myself into thinking I could control my drinking many times. It always ended up the same way. I would go weeks or a couple three months and would be back to daily drinking, and the amount would increase as well. Then, I would start all over again.

This last time I finally realized that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and that I AM POWERLESS AGAINST ALCOHOL. Where I disliked meetings, I now look forward to them and realize that sobriety is my only hope of a decent life.

Wish you the best, and hope your man is the exception to the rule. Life is so much easier when we accept the fact that some people just can't drink, and I am one of them. Love and Peace to you and yours, Arn

minnie

TG, I really hope hubby is different than many others I know of. My ex could cut down on his drinking for quite a while. In fact, that was his pattern. I remember going to Venice last year for a long weekend and not a drop passed his lips. I'm afraid it didn't last that long.

Don't want to put a downer on things and I truly hope that he has "seen the light."

FriendofBill

Its not a matter of being good, its a matter of being sick.

If his drinking bothers *you*, then it doesnt matter if he is alcoholic or not..what matters is how it affects you.

Sounds to me like a bout of controlled drinking..maybe he can do it...time will tell.

elizabeth1979

I hope this is maybe a pattern.

My now and for good ex was very good at "controlling" his drinking. Or so I thought.
The only thing he controlled, was how much he drank IN FRONT of me.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Just keep your eyes open while you fingers are corssed too

TexasGirl

Yes, I guess time will tell. This kind of drinking really doesn't bother me...it's the extreme stuff that I can't handle (of course even though 4 or 5 is OK with me, I'm still not sure I want to bring kids into the world where that is normal). I'm a realist though...I definitely have my eyes wide open. I think we all want a miracle, but I'm practical enough to not expect that. What will be will be, right?

I thought this was common behavior and just wanted to confirm it. You know, this is a good thing. If it continues indefinitely, great! If he reverts to the old ways, it will show me again that he cannot control it, which would lead me further down my journey of getting my heart and head on the same page to leave.

minnie

Good for you, TG. As I've said to you before, you'll know what decision to make when the time is right.

It's an interesting point you make about it being a good thing to see the pattern. I thought that too. If R wasn't going to get into recovery, I at least wanted to stop being so damned suprised all the time and see the reality of the situation. Guess that's when I started to learn about detachment.

meli2005

Yes, some can do it, but usually with an alcoholic it is just for a little while and then shortly thereafter they go back to the level of drinking prior to cutting down.