Just wanted to thank you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Windsor, On
Posts: 3
Just wanted to thank you
I have not been here for quite a while but found so much help in dealing with my husband. I learned not to threaten to do anything that I wan't willing to carry through on. I learned that yelling & crying & all the begging wasn't going to help. I also learned that it is a disease and to hate the behaviour not the man.
I flew out West to spend a week with my sister the last week of September 2004. I prayed that he was capable of staying sober for that week he had been out of rehab a year but was still drinking. My daily conversations with him involved nothing but drunken conversations. On the plane home I decided that I could no longer live like this & as much as I loved him & didn't want to break up our family that I had lost the ability to support him while he found his sobriety.
I very calmly told him I didn't want to live like this anymore, that I wished him all the best & hoped that someday he was able to find his sobrietey. He asked me for one more chance to which I replied I have no more "one more chances "left in me.
I did however tell him if he checked himself into inpatient rehab I would stay until he got home. A funny thing happend, he got in contact with his sponsor who talked him into 60 meetings in 60 days. Financially we were not in a place where we could afford to lose 60 days of income, but I was willing to lose the house & everything at that point anyway. I decided to see if this time he meant it. Broken promises were normal at this point.
My husband had his last drink October 3rd. He totally bought into the 60 meetings in 60 days and actually would attend two meetings a day at times.To this day he still attends meetings 5 out of 7 nights, became an active member (makes coffee, drives people around) of a home group. Really embraced the program for the first time.
I realize that this could all end with one drink, but our family relationship seems to be healing. Slowly, the life I knew before this hit us is coming back.
I also know of people that have been sobre for 20 years that have fallen off the wagon, this Board has prepared me for that.
I really do believe if I had not been ready to leave him this would have backfired on me, so even when I wanted to yell this marriage is over I knew it wasn't & didn't waste a false threat.
You helped me with the tools I needed to see past the drinking & into what I needed to do for myself to get myself back on track.
I hope my story helps somebody new, because to be honest with you, I was to the point where I was 100% positive my husband would never be sobre.
I flew out West to spend a week with my sister the last week of September 2004. I prayed that he was capable of staying sober for that week he had been out of rehab a year but was still drinking. My daily conversations with him involved nothing but drunken conversations. On the plane home I decided that I could no longer live like this & as much as I loved him & didn't want to break up our family that I had lost the ability to support him while he found his sobriety.
I very calmly told him I didn't want to live like this anymore, that I wished him all the best & hoped that someday he was able to find his sobrietey. He asked me for one more chance to which I replied I have no more "one more chances "left in me.
I did however tell him if he checked himself into inpatient rehab I would stay until he got home. A funny thing happend, he got in contact with his sponsor who talked him into 60 meetings in 60 days. Financially we were not in a place where we could afford to lose 60 days of income, but I was willing to lose the house & everything at that point anyway. I decided to see if this time he meant it. Broken promises were normal at this point.
My husband had his last drink October 3rd. He totally bought into the 60 meetings in 60 days and actually would attend two meetings a day at times.To this day he still attends meetings 5 out of 7 nights, became an active member (makes coffee, drives people around) of a home group. Really embraced the program for the first time.
I realize that this could all end with one drink, but our family relationship seems to be healing. Slowly, the life I knew before this hit us is coming back.
I also know of people that have been sobre for 20 years that have fallen off the wagon, this Board has prepared me for that.
I really do believe if I had not been ready to leave him this would have backfired on me, so even when I wanted to yell this marriage is over I knew it wasn't & didn't waste a false threat.
You helped me with the tools I needed to see past the drinking & into what I needed to do for myself to get myself back on track.
I hope my story helps somebody new, because to be honest with you, I was to the point where I was 100% positive my husband would never be sobre.
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by Caitlin
You helped me with the tools I needed to see past the drinking & into what I needed to do for myself to get myself back on track...
Originally Posted by Caitlin
I hope my story helps somebody new...
Thanks again, and I wish you & your family continued serenity and sobriety!
Peace...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Thank you!
I agree here with pmaslan, I cant tell you how much that makes my heart sing.
She is right that is what we all wanted ... I so wanted to be the AA sucess story, ended up just being my sucess story but you have given many hope Im sure and I thank you for that.
I agree here with pmaslan, I cant tell you how much that makes my heart sing.
She is right that is what we all wanted ... I so wanted to be the AA sucess story, ended up just being my sucess story but you have given many hope Im sure and I thank you for that.
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