elizabeth1979

I feel a little strange about this, but the fact that my fiance moved out at my request/demand on Tuesday and I havent cried once, just reinforces the fact that I really was miserable.

I know I made the right decision and unlike the other times I have done this, I dont think/worry about him every second. He maybe crosses my mind 2-3 times a day, but thats it, then I move onto to the next thought process. I think I may have finally realized that NOTHING I say or do, will have ANY affect on his addiction and behavior.

Whether or not he saves his own life is not up to me, and all I can do is repair and save mine.

So, I just wanted to tell others out there that are still with theirs that there is sometimes happiness and freeness in letting go and letting God.

Love,
Sarah elizabeth

Savana 54

That's great! Come to think of it; I don't think about my xabf as much as I used to either.

I hope you can find the serenity and calmness you deserve, living without him! You deserve it!!

Lorelai

I felt pretty much the same way. You know it's time when you know. No second guessing or confusion. I knew I didn't have any other choice. My friends said that it would be a delayed reaction and kept waiting for the breakdown. It's been nine months and I haven't seen the breakdown yet - I don't think it's coming.

There are trying times but nothing compared to the daily hell of alcohol. I'm in control of my life and I am capable of being in charge of me. Thank God for SR and all the wonderful people here.

I'm happy for you. Stay strong.
L

FormerDoormat

Amen, sister. I found happiness and freedom when I let go and let God, too. Wishing you peace, happiness, and a life free from the affects of alcoholism.

FD

meli2005

Glad you are feeling better, Sarah. It is a relief to only have to worry about YOU. I know the feeling.

CatsTail

I remember with mine I didn't cry for the first month. I knew I had made the right decision. Enough is enough.

Ngaire

elizabeth1979

I am so glad there are people out there who know the feeling. Its like I really just am so happy bc if the house is messy, its my fault, if the bank account is empty, my fault. My friends also tell me that it will hit me, but I dont think I will be sad. Living my life that way is what made me sad. I am so gald I only have to worry about myself now!!!!!

Girlfriend

Oh, elizabeth, that's great!!!!

You may not ever feel sad like your friends tell you that you may. (Don't listen to that). Just listen to your inner voice, the one that you hear first.,...your gut instinct and follow it.

I have not thought about my exabf since I changed my cell #. I don't miss the chaos and drama and the "me, me, me" stuff everyday. The only thing I miss, if I ever do, is the fun times we had in the very beginning. But, that didn't last long.

It was a process of letting go. The last 3-4 months were hell! Fought every week, kept telling him that I was through with him and his lies and drinking and was moving on........only to listen to him cry and beg and then me weakening again and again and giving him "one more chance". That happened for SO LONG!

It finally killed whatever hope I had for our future. I knew that he wasn't ready at ALL to quit drinking and that I couldn't force him to. Instead, I just enabled him even more. My love for him changed. He wasn't that "attractive" man to me anymore, just a guy who was getting skinnier and older looking by the day because of the lifestyle HE chose. ANd, his lies weren't attractive, either. Each time we fought and then tried again, the pain of losing him got less and less. And, then I knew I could live without him.....finally.

You're gonna do just fine. And, if you EVER feel weak or sad, come on here and read the posts or post one and the support helps so much.

(((hugs)))

The Other Side

((elizabeth))

On Tuesday I told my AH that I was done too. I was VERY firm and VERY confident I made the right choice but I have second guessed myself and I have had guilt. I did cry alot, I DO love him, this is a very tough time.... but he isn't done so I am.

I'm so glad that you have found peace in letting go...

I think I am doing ok myself, more just wondering why he isn't trying, fighting to keep the relationship alive, why he isnt' calling and begging me ~ ha ha (I blocked his # from calling but there are tons of ways to make contact) funny huh? I just keep thinking WTF.. he's NEVER listened to me before.. ha ha. But this too shall pass.... It's just me feeling like I need him to re-assure me that he wants me still but wouldn't solve the real problem....

Keep strong.......

Oh and...... FormerDoormat ~ I LOVE the quote under your nic!!!

nocellphone

It's kinda nice to have your life back, isn't it?

For me, that's when my recovery really started and I began to grow.