I need your help NOW...please!
Fantastic Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
I need your help NOW...please!
As I wrote the day before...the A was asking to come back. I told him NO...and he said he would stop drinking. I told him he needed rehab to do that...or he could be in trouble.
Well...........he stopped and went to visit his daughter at college, had a seizure in the football stand and had to be taken to the hosptital where is blood pressure was 190. I got a call this morning from him as he was standing outside a treatment( hospital run ) center with his brother asking me what to do. He already had been in but this was the moment of crossing that line into the center. I told him, and today is his birthday, that is must be a sign from God on your birthday to change. All it took was me to say go in. His brother( part of his usless $%^&*()_ family that offered no help to me during the past years) is with him for now and all day he has groups etc. Physically he is a mess.
Ok guys, for those of you who have been at this point what do I do? Anything>? Nothing??? I did tell him I would come to see hjim later tonight. Right...wrong?
Helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!
Love Kitty
Well...........he stopped and went to visit his daughter at college, had a seizure in the football stand and had to be taken to the hosptital where is blood pressure was 190. I got a call this morning from him as he was standing outside a treatment( hospital run ) center with his brother asking me what to do. He already had been in but this was the moment of crossing that line into the center. I told him, and today is his birthday, that is must be a sign from God on your birthday to change. All it took was me to say go in. His brother( part of his usless $%^&*()_ family that offered no help to me during the past years) is with him for now and all day he has groups etc. Physically he is a mess.
Ok guys, for those of you who have been at this point what do I do? Anything>? Nothing??? I did tell him I would come to see hjim later tonight. Right...wrong?
Helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!
Love Kitty
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Kitty
This is good news for you and for him. Reglardless of whether you are still married to him or not, you have spend much of your life with this man and I know you do care about him.
He has a treatment program and you have a recovery program for you too.
Now might be a good time to learn that you can care about him without being in a relationship with him.
My prayers are with you both.
This is good news for you and for him. Reglardless of whether you are still married to him or not, you have spend much of your life with this man and I know you do care about him.
He has a treatment program and you have a recovery program for you too.
Now might be a good time to learn that you can care about him without being in a relationship with him.
My prayers are with you both.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Kitty,
You can keep your boundaries up and care at the same time. If you want to go see him then it is up to you. I would call the treatment center and ask for their advice.
I watched someone go through these seizures for two years before they got sober so keep your expectations down.
Do what you think is right for you Kitty.
Hugs,
MG
You can keep your boundaries up and care at the same time. If you want to go see him then it is up to you. I would call the treatment center and ask for their advice.
I watched someone go through these seizures for two years before they got sober so keep your expectations down.
Do what you think is right for you Kitty.
Hugs,
MG
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: upstate, ny
Posts: 135
hi kitty,
hp at work, feeeeeel it. my husband just angrily entered a inpatient rehab at the end of september. he told me nothing about what was going on, his rehab was 3 hours away and it took him 28 hours to arrive there, apparently he got side tracked at the bars and arrived drunk!! ifound out later that most people entering rehab go on a binge right before entry there. they told me that at the family program at his rehab. rehab called me once and invited me to their family program, they had real strict policies and rules. rehab is for the alcholic and addict, the rehab that mike had was a great program, and i am so glad i went to the family part. i'll also warn you about our short phone conversations the first week. he said the food sucks he's out of cigarettes,every person he was there with was a felon and ghetto scum and of the wrohg skin color for his little redneck ways. he said he couldn't sleep, couldn't go to the bathroom and just knew he didn't belong there. i personally was so glad for the break from his black moods and godlike attention-seeking behaviors that i had a great week. i expected him to walk out and pull in the driveway everyday. he didn't. i found out that the food was tolerable when i went there, they had a smoke room, pizza and a movie on sat. night, he made 2 friends that he keeps in contact with, 1 guy from the bronx and a singer from vermont.
i worried so much and the man i talked to the 2nd week was the man i fell in love with, that was even scarier. he hadn't been sober for 2 weeks since he was in jail 20 years ago. he's home now for 2 weeks and back to work and not going to meetings, what can i do,nothing!! i can go to meetings and talk to you guys and want change in a gentle way. good luck and see what you can get for you out of this rehab experience.
hugs from sugar
hp at work, feeeeeel it. my husband just angrily entered a inpatient rehab at the end of september. he told me nothing about what was going on, his rehab was 3 hours away and it took him 28 hours to arrive there, apparently he got side tracked at the bars and arrived drunk!! ifound out later that most people entering rehab go on a binge right before entry there. they told me that at the family program at his rehab. rehab called me once and invited me to their family program, they had real strict policies and rules. rehab is for the alcholic and addict, the rehab that mike had was a great program, and i am so glad i went to the family part. i'll also warn you about our short phone conversations the first week. he said the food sucks he's out of cigarettes,every person he was there with was a felon and ghetto scum and of the wrohg skin color for his little redneck ways. he said he couldn't sleep, couldn't go to the bathroom and just knew he didn't belong there. i personally was so glad for the break from his black moods and godlike attention-seeking behaviors that i had a great week. i expected him to walk out and pull in the driveway everyday. he didn't. i found out that the food was tolerable when i went there, they had a smoke room, pizza and a movie on sat. night, he made 2 friends that he keeps in contact with, 1 guy from the bronx and a singer from vermont.
i worried so much and the man i talked to the 2nd week was the man i fell in love with, that was even scarier. he hadn't been sober for 2 weeks since he was in jail 20 years ago. he's home now for 2 weeks and back to work and not going to meetings, what can i do,nothing!! i can go to meetings and talk to you guys and want change in a gentle way. good luck and see what you can get for you out of this rehab experience.
hugs from sugar
Fantastic Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
I have deceided to go see him. I talked with the nurse and it seems I have a ton of control ? They want him to stay IN and feel I have a say in that. ? I don't know, we have our business and I need to know what is going on there too.
I talked to his brother and told him I am doing this for him, because I know he would do it for me...and that is the God's honest truth.
He will have to take it from here if he choses to recover...I t will be his choice. I told his brother, my visit DOES not mean the dicorce is off.....and he knows it.
Twelve years of life ...your just can't erase. I guess right or wrong this is my decision ...my kids are pissed about it..they don't understand................I don't understand them either on many issues... oh well. I will let you all know what happens.
Love to all
Kitty
I talked to his brother and told him I am doing this for him, because I know he would do it for me...and that is the God's honest truth.
He will have to take it from here if he choses to recover...I t will be his choice. I told his brother, my visit DOES not mean the dicorce is off.....and he knows it.
Twelve years of life ...your just can't erase. I guess right or wrong this is my decision ...my kids are pissed about it..they don't understand................I don't understand them either on many issues... oh well. I will let you all know what happens.
Love to all
Kitty
Guest
Posts: n/a
Kitty,
Making a decision is a good thing and I certainly understand why you are doing this.
I have an ex boyfriend who is an A and I have sat in hospitals with him and through surgery. I don't think there is a thing wrong with that. My boundaries are good and he is just a good friend now. He would also do anything for me if I needed it or asked him.
Make sure you keep putting the responsibility back on him and don't take any blame for this.
Hugs,
MG
Making a decision is a good thing and I certainly understand why you are doing this.
I have an ex boyfriend who is an A and I have sat in hospitals with him and through surgery. I don't think there is a thing wrong with that. My boundaries are good and he is just a good friend now. He would also do anything for me if I needed it or asked him.
Make sure you keep putting the responsibility back on him and don't take any blame for this.
Hugs,
MG
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