walkingtheline

As I've mentioned before, I have a friend. He's funny, he's kind, he's well mannered and we have a great time together. We go to the movies, to the beach, have danced in the moonlight and watched people chase grunion. And we're pals. NOT lovers. We talk every day, see each others 3 or 4 times a week, but we've agreed to cross no lines and we've held fast to that decision. It's the most chaste relationship I've been in since probably Jr. High, and it's wonderful.

So tonight, we went to the movies. As we were walking out he said, "Isn't that his car?" He saw a car that resembled the ABF. It wasn't. I explained to him -again-that it is DONE with the ABF. Has been for months. And I don't care if he sees me out.

My friend said something to the effect that he understood that, but he didn't want to be a part of something that would drive another man to hurt himself. I gave him an educated response like, "HUH?" He said he thought ABF was going to be devastated when I was really gone, maybe to the point of harming himself. Which brings me to the title of this post.

I figured out that at NO TIME in the relationship with the ABF, I was NEVER number one on his list...and, once I listed it out, I had never been in the top ten. Once I listed all the "stuff" that had always come before me I came to the realization during our entire relationship I was NEVER higher than 18, and often in the mid to low 20's.

After more than 3 years, I never even made the top 10. How sad is that?
That list was an eyeopener, one I'll remember and learn from.

Lessons learned hard are learned well.

minnie

Oh, I think I was in my ex's Top 10. Sometimes even No 1. But only as far as what he could get out of me. How much he needed to leech off me emotionally. It didn't have to be me, it could have been anyone. In fact, he replaced me PDQ.

Once I came back from a weekend at home with my folks. We were in seperate bedrooms at this stage, but he asked me if I would sleep in his bed that night, no sex. I agreed, but when I got in there it was like I could physically feel my life force being sucked from me to him. It was the scariest feeling. I never shared a bed with him again. And didn't share his life for much longer.

Sounds like you're learning some great lessons here. And your new friend sounds like just the ticket.

Love

Minnie
xxx

Beautiful

Living your life with another person means you are always in the top 3 - HP, him, and you. There's no room to be any other number. I know this because, until a year ago, I was always second behind the bottom. He *said* that I was first but his actions dictated that I was second below the bottom of the list.