wraybear

Has anyone had experience with an alcoholic whose addiction took a turn for the worse and they were close to death? Just curious the outcomes. I have heard they have to "hit their bottom." Of course, I don't know if my A has a bottom, but that's neither here nor there. My AH has been to the ER four time in the past 5 months during drunk spells, two times drunken unconscious, two times due to drunkenness w/blood pressure and possible seizures. Also been to a 30 day rehab and now in jail for breaking probation - on probation as a direct result of drinking. All this in the past 5 months.
He is in his 29th year of alcoholism.

Just curious if anyone has a story to share.

cwohio

wray - don't know but mine has been to er many times in the past few months. obviously their bottom is DEEP!

quietsins

one things i learned the hard way was that health problems arent the bottom. i saw how sick my A was two years ago, and if they dont go to the dr. then they are all right in their eyes.

when you think they have hit the bottom, its usually just a pause until they can start digging themselves even deeper. that has been my experience.

i have had to change my way of thinking to just accepting that he will die. and adjusting myself to the idea of if i will go to the funeral or not. he is a time bomb ready to explode and all i can do at this point is just get out of the way so it doesnt take me with him.

wraybear

I have had visions of his funeral. Not just once or twice, but several times over this past 5 months. Whether to take the kids to just the funeral and not the visitation or vice versa. It is weird. I can see the casket. Sometimes it is open and I see his body bloated - sometimes it is closed and I see his body mangled from a car accident.

I feel like I have accepted that he will die.

I guess I am hoping someone will respond with a different ending. They hit their bottom, this is what happened and they survived and survived well. I guess I am struggling to see some hope in HIS situation... I have hope in my situation. I have finally gotten to a point where I know I will survive and be happy regardless of what he does. But, I still hope for him. Not for my sake, but for his sake and my kids sake. Then I wonder are my kiddos better off without him. That is a horrible feeling. Still struggling big time with that one. Can't imagine God wanting these two little girls to be without a dad - but I accept it, I just WANT TO KNOW WHY, AND I WANT TO KNOW NOW!!!! God must not want me to know right now!

drgnfly30

I feel that way more & more... it's more a matter of when & how that I contemplate now. Quick from a car accident or slow from liver disease or lung cancer...

I have thought he has been close to bottom before but when I read others stories... I can't bear to think about how deep those bottoms can indeed go...

(((wraybear)))

cwohio

yep - i really am coming to the point where i believe mine will also die before he surrenders. after his last seizure incident and them not taking him to the hospital i feel like he'll just think that that means no big deal. i have had thoughts of wishing that God would take him out his misery (horrible and guilty feeling). it's an awful way to live and i can't imagine feeling THAT bad to stay in a "state" all the time.

quietsins

sometimes when things look blackest.. when i can only envision myself receiving "the call" from his son telling me he is dead... it helps me to realize that God sees him for who he is, the things i fell in love with him for, and that brings me a bit of comfort.

wraybear

oh yes! thanks for that reminder. That is a little comforting to think about. I have also thought about if he does die, he will be in a happy place - no more depression, no more self doubt, no more self abuse - he will finally understand that he is totally forgiven. I wish he REALLY REALLY REALLY understood that now. This is a man who asks forgiveness several times a day. Gets down on his knees every day. He has a real relationship with Jesus. That's another reason why this SUCKS so badly. I know some say there is no way he has a relationship with God or we wouldn't continue this behavior. But, I know he does. He always has. That is one reason why I fell in love with him 17 years ago.. And, through all this he has never gotten mad at God either.
Maybe that is where my hope needs to lie - knowing he will be in a better place.
Comforting, but kind of sad, isn't it?