A first!!
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
A first!!
I came back from riding yesterday morning and D said he'd found a great 'conference site' on the Open Uni webpage.
He said - wait for it.........
It was OU students personal experiences of alcoholism!!!
Firstly - he's never been the one to raise this subject. Secondly the 'A' word was only first used by him at all in November, thirdly - - - it's a group of PEOPLE he's found, PEOPLE who share the same with him!!
He's still drinking 'occassionally', I'm still waiting for it to go up again as it does. BUT these things are putting him in a better place than EVER before.
It's hard to explain - if you knew him you'd know how much this is good news.
I just feel as though things are as they should be.
He said - wait for it.........
It was OU students personal experiences of alcoholism!!!
Firstly - he's never been the one to raise this subject. Secondly the 'A' word was only first used by him at all in November, thirdly - - - it's a group of PEOPLE he's found, PEOPLE who share the same with him!!
He's still drinking 'occassionally', I'm still waiting for it to go up again as it does. BUT these things are putting him in a better place than EVER before.
It's hard to explain - if you knew him you'd know how much this is good news.
I just feel as though things are as they should be.
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Equus,
That is great news! And I truly understand. It's awesome that HE found it and HE is looking into it. When they take the initiative, it can make a world of difference.
I am up late, too... and happy to share in your good news. Things are as they should be
Barb
That is great news! And I truly understand. It's awesome that HE found it and HE is looking into it. When they take the initiative, it can make a world of difference.
I am up late, too... and happy to share in your good news. Things are as they should be
Barb
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
I'm such a firm believer that people need people. His extreme shyness just isolates him from anyone, never mind people who've been through the same as him. He's in a new city, really fighting with drink so not keen to offer or take any chance of going to the pub with workmates. BUT he respects OU students because they study on top of full time work and it takes so long to get a degree that way, and he's found a group who've lived through what he has HIS group, not friends through me.
He never posts on the net but maybe he will, at least he has a real chance that he hasn't had before - (there's no way he'd go to a meeting). All that ON TOP of him looking, his initative and the rest.
Even if he just looks, these are people he respects so maybe that in itself will help ease a little bit of the shame he feels about it.
I was so happy and surprised and hadn't got the first idea how to respond - I didn't really say anything. I resisted the urge to ask if I could see the site (even though I was a as curious as hell to see if the folk sounded nice). It's only accessible to OU students so he really could have it as HIS private place.
Part of me wonders whether some of his desire to slog his guts out trying to control booze enough to drink now and again isn't just because not doing puts yet another barrier up to him socialising. He always says he'd be happy never socialising but he enjoys people so much, talks about them, likes them, talks about nights out in every detail - I don't believe him that he wants to live his whole life with just me.
I'm rambling now - I just desperately want him to have somewhere for him. I wish I could will them into being a lovely bunch of folk!!!
He never posts on the net but maybe he will, at least he has a real chance that he hasn't had before - (there's no way he'd go to a meeting). All that ON TOP of him looking, his initative and the rest.
Even if he just looks, these are people he respects so maybe that in itself will help ease a little bit of the shame he feels about it.
I was so happy and surprised and hadn't got the first idea how to respond - I didn't really say anything. I resisted the urge to ask if I could see the site (even though I was a as curious as hell to see if the folk sounded nice). It's only accessible to OU students so he really could have it as HIS private place.
Part of me wonders whether some of his desire to slog his guts out trying to control booze enough to drink now and again isn't just because not doing puts yet another barrier up to him socialising. He always says he'd be happy never socialising but he enjoys people so much, talks about them, likes them, talks about nights out in every detail - I don't believe him that he wants to live his whole life with just me.
I'm rambling now - I just desperately want him to have somewhere for him. I wish I could will them into being a lovely bunch of folk!!!
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
:e21r Happiness comes in all shapes and forms, doesn't it.
This is proof that he is making the effort and for him to show such excitement is also an indication that he wants to get help. I bet you couldn't be more proud of him.
Little steps little steps.
Huggers
This is proof that he is making the effort and for him to show such excitement is also an indication that he wants to get help. I bet you couldn't be more proud of him.
Little steps little steps.
Huggers
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
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^^^^ It feels all warm 'n' fuzzy knowing I don't sound like a nutter here to be so happy about this.
It's funny with him - his efforts have shown in actions long before they have in words. He might get it wrapped round his neck sometimes but he has consistantly tried, and is still trying.
In some ways I think the words part has to catch up a little before he's ready. I'm happy with this, I'm just happy!!
It's funny with him - his efforts have shown in actions long before they have in words. He might get it wrapped round his neck sometimes but he has consistantly tried, and is still trying.
In some ways I think the words part has to catch up a little before he's ready. I'm happy with this, I'm just happy!!
That's awesome he found himself a place. We all need out places.
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