JessicaNAJ

I just talked to my AH. He was opening his mail. It seems that his financial position is getting worse. His gas and electric is about to be shut off, his license was suspended because he couldn't pay his car insurance, He has some bills going into collections, he has no money for food, he can't sleep at night, he's still laid off...... ugh, I feel sooooo bad for him right now.

btw - that guitar (and his amp), he pawned them for $120. I can't believe that. Together I paid at least $700. It makes me sick... I'm so upset. I'm thinking about getting his pawn ticket and getting them out of pawn - not for him, for me. He said he was going to get them out in time, but I'm afraid he won't. He's already shown he can't pay his bills, how is he going to pay to get these out?? Let go and let God. Right?

walkingtheline

There's an old saying that Lessons learned hard are learned well.

Perhaps this is your AH's chance to learn about the real consequences of his actions and his disease.

If it were me I would NOT rescue the guitar. IMHO, once you gave it to him, it became his. He should be free to play and cherish it, smash it like a big rock star on stage and yes, even lose it to a pawn shop.

I hope you find a way to have peace.

gelfling

Whoa Jess,

Listen to yourself. Stop, take a deep breathe and let it go. You're allowing yourself to get wrapped up in his crap. He dumped on you and you made like a sponge.

Slow down.

Blessings

JessicaNAJ

You're right. And that is what this is all about. Learning to let him take the consequences of his own actions and me NOT rescuing him.

Thank's Kathy - CoDe habits creeping up on me. Sometimes I need a little slap in my face to set me straight

Thank you....thank you....thank you. That feeling of helplessness (regarding the guitar) almost caused me a panic attack. But I'm okay now.

cwohio

here's a tap (not a slap) from me - i hope in turn if i need one (which i am sure i will) you will return the favor!

gelfling

Geez...it wasn't meant as a slap...Just a little shake.

Hugssssssssssssssssssss

JessicaNAJ

Chris - that's what friends are for, right? Of course i would return the favor.

Kathy - if it will help me, you can shake me anytime you want. Just please be gentle

walkingtheline

This could really be a blessing-
it would seem to make you a fast learner!

Dee at Mt Bully

Jess--you don't need me to tell you how to get this right--just know you are
in my prayers and let it go--I know you can figure this out--I've seen you do it.
Huggs and smiles--Dee

minnie

Oh, woe is me.

And he told you this for what purpose? To tell you how he's going to sort all of this out? To suck you back in? To get you to help him out? To make excuses to drink?

Hon, his mess and his to deal with. Why should you feel sorry for him? If he doesn't buy booze, he can afford food. If he doesn't drink booze, he can hold down a job. Choices = consequences. He is experiencing the consequences of his choices.

Hang in, hon. This is not yours to deal with, or even think about.

STEP AWAY FROM THE ALCOHOLIC!

Love

Minnie
xxx

cupowater

Minnie, you are so funny!!!!! And right!!!!!

JessicaNAJ

Minnie - you are abosolutely right. Those CoDe habits creeped up on me. But, I'm back. I have my head clear. I would feel bad if this was happening to my neighbor. And I'm sure he needs someone to talk to too, but - not my problem and I shouldn't make it my problem AND I'm not going to make it my problem either.

There - all gone...lol

You guys are the best.

JessicaNAJ

You know ~ I predicted this all last summer. I knew this would catch up to him. HA ~ I was right

Oops - a little burst of cheerfulness / so bad.

minnie

And there, my sweetheart, you have learned the difference between compassion and rescuing.

(Bloody hell, it's hard work this recovery business, isn't it?)