here we go
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: chicago
Posts: 5
here we go
OK, I have been looking at this site everyday for quite some time now. I am a little freaked out about posting.
a little background. mom and dad are active A's. Live-in boyfriend is active A. I am a perfect example of ACOA.
A has been on a role lately and it's starting to get to me. I am by no means the person that gets hit, on the contrary, he's almost nicer when he's drunk, but i am sick of having conversations that are jibberish. I have tried a meeting or two but I just break down. I keep a lot of this inside because I feel alone and not really sure what to do.
It's a little more rough because A, was sober in AA for 5 years... he has been drinking for 2 years straight now. I just met him in the last two years...
Does anyone have any books that could suggest for me to read?
a little background. mom and dad are active A's. Live-in boyfriend is active A. I am a perfect example of ACOA.
A has been on a role lately and it's starting to get to me. I am by no means the person that gets hit, on the contrary, he's almost nicer when he's drunk, but i am sick of having conversations that are jibberish. I have tried a meeting or two but I just break down. I keep a lot of this inside because I feel alone and not really sure what to do.
It's a little more rough because A, was sober in AA for 5 years... he has been drinking for 2 years straight now. I just met him in the last two years...
Does anyone have any books that could suggest for me to read?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hey Spuds, welcome to Sober Recovery.
Standard book recommendation 'round these parts is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. I'm sure there are tons more. I also like "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood.
We're all here for each other. So jump in, unload, rant or whatever.
Glad you found us.
Gabe
Standard book recommendation 'round these parts is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. I'm sure there are tons more. I also like "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood.
We're all here for each other. So jump in, unload, rant or whatever.
Glad you found us.
Gabe
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: north carolina
Posts: 365
no books, just, i can sure identify with that. not knowing my a exb before he started drinking so much makes me constantly wonder what he was like before. i know EXACTLY what you mean about the conversations. we either had none, the same ones,or frustrating ones.......i cannot make myself believe he is a stupid man, but i swear i really believe the alcohol has done something to his brain.trying to explain some things to him at times is soooooo frustrating. simple things he needs help with is so frustrating.
last night he actually asked me if his sisters mother in law is also HIS mother in law???????????? (the man is 44, for God's sake!!)
is he really this not intelligent, or does anyone else know an a thats been drinking for years that seems not quite right? i would really like to know.
the other thing i dont get is like ive posted before....when i met him i put the drinking to stress--money,divorce,work,no lover in his life, but even when things got better he never put the beer down. guess its just the true addiction.
last night he actually asked me if his sisters mother in law is also HIS mother in law???????????? (the man is 44, for God's sake!!)
is he really this not intelligent, or does anyone else know an a thats been drinking for years that seems not quite right? i would really like to know.
the other thing i dont get is like ive posted before....when i met him i put the drinking to stress--money,divorce,work,no lover in his life, but even when things got better he never put the beer down. guess its just the true addiction.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Anaheim,CA
Posts: 549
Welcome!
I'd return to a meeting...they'll understand and eventually it'll get easier. They've been where you are. And please, hang out with us! I learn so much from the others here.
Read, attend meetings, learn...grow.
Read, attend meetings, learn...grow.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 103
Glad you decided to post. This is one place where you never feel alone.
My AH was a drinker when I met him but it wasn't bad at all for a while...as you know it just gets worse and you can't control it...I have many fond memories of my AH in the early days and he is not the same person. He is better for the moment but I know it's not going to last. It is devastating to live with this disease. I'm sorry for what you're going through.
A book I always recommend which I read ALL the time is "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. You can get the first one on Amazon but all her books are from Recovery Communications. She has a web site also. My counselor hadn't seen the book before I told her about it, and she now uses it in her practice. Al Anon is great but this book is like a daily Al Anon for me. I often read it before bed, always helps me...
Please keep coming back.
My AH was a drinker when I met him but it wasn't bad at all for a while...as you know it just gets worse and you can't control it...I have many fond memories of my AH in the early days and he is not the same person. He is better for the moment but I know it's not going to last. It is devastating to live with this disease. I'm sorry for what you're going through.
A book I always recommend which I read ALL the time is "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. You can get the first one on Amazon but all her books are from Recovery Communications. She has a web site also. My counselor hadn't seen the book before I told her about it, and she now uses it in her practice. Al Anon is great but this book is like a daily Al Anon for me. I often read it before bed, always helps me...
Please keep coming back.
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