I am SO proud of myself...
I am SO proud of myself...
I went grocery shopping today with the very little money we had. I realized how HARD it is to meet the daily needs of my family on my salary alone. This is totally ignoring the massive debt that will have to be dealt with sooner than later. My income alone is not enough. And my husband is not working yet.
I came home with very few groceries, enough cheap stuff to get us by until I get paid next week. I fully realize that we will NEVER starve and that we do have resources we can call on if we get desperate, and it was still VERY disheartening to shop for a family of 4 for a week with less than $50.00.
So, I felt myself getting angrier and angrier on the way home. Knowing that my husband was laying on the couch, watching TV and while not spending any money (we have no cable and free internet)...certainly not MAKING any money.
I was so geared up to confront him on my anger at this. So, I drove an extra few blocks out of my way and chanted my mantras and rationalized with myself and realized that NOTHING good would come of this situation. It is so like confronting him about drinking. I have to control what I can control. I can not force him to find a short term job to bring in some money. I CAN go out and find another job myself. I can TRY and make him feel guilty, but what on earth good would that do.
I calmed down and brought home the food. I said nothing. He said "I know this is hard for you. I will find something sort term to do this week. I am not only going crazy being home all day, I also realize how stressful it is for you to try and care for our family with no money".
Now THAT would NOT have have happened if I came raging in telling him that I am SICK of being poor and that I NEED him to get off his lazy butt and get to work.
We will see if he follows up. I am pleased that he sees the issue and the impact it has on me. He is veiwing the world outside of his box. THAT makes me happy.
And I am SOOO proud of myself for not raging at him. Peace...it is a good thing.
And I have a million EAT cheap and healthy recipes if anyone needs them.
Jenny
I came home with very few groceries, enough cheap stuff to get us by until I get paid next week. I fully realize that we will NEVER starve and that we do have resources we can call on if we get desperate, and it was still VERY disheartening to shop for a family of 4 for a week with less than $50.00.
So, I felt myself getting angrier and angrier on the way home. Knowing that my husband was laying on the couch, watching TV and while not spending any money (we have no cable and free internet)...certainly not MAKING any money.
I was so geared up to confront him on my anger at this. So, I drove an extra few blocks out of my way and chanted my mantras and rationalized with myself and realized that NOTHING good would come of this situation. It is so like confronting him about drinking. I have to control what I can control. I can not force him to find a short term job to bring in some money. I CAN go out and find another job myself. I can TRY and make him feel guilty, but what on earth good would that do.
I calmed down and brought home the food. I said nothing. He said "I know this is hard for you. I will find something sort term to do this week. I am not only going crazy being home all day, I also realize how stressful it is for you to try and care for our family with no money".
Now THAT would NOT have have happened if I came raging in telling him that I am SICK of being poor and that I NEED him to get off his lazy butt and get to work.
We will see if he follows up. I am pleased that he sees the issue and the impact it has on me. He is veiwing the world outside of his box. THAT makes me happy.
And I am SOOO proud of myself for not raging at him. Peace...it is a good thing.
And I have a million EAT cheap and healthy recipes if anyone needs them.
Jenny
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