GettingFree

When I began to look at this I saw that my putting in and giving a lot to my job had a lot of elements to it. Yes, I wanted to please. I wanted, like you say, to be a great employee. And i thought I wanted to do great work. I was always thought of as passionate about my work, and willing to go the extra mile(s) to make things great, not just good.

So what was this about? I began to see that not only was I afraid of saying no, of being thought of negatively if I didn't do as much as I could, but I saw how much of this was wrapped up in wanting to be validated. On the outside, people saw a smart, talented employee with a lot of dedication. On the inside, was this yearning to be thought of as worthy and valuable. There was this wounded child wanting to be praised and valued. The more 'valuable' I made myself to my work, my co-workers, my bosses, the more valuable I felt inside.

Thankfully, I've now made progress on this. I have seen the tremendous cost to me in putting in these hours, to my serenity and quality of life. I have made changes to begin putting limits. I still struggle sometimes with how I am perceived, and the need to be seen as am important asset, but I'm beginning to make more headway on that too. I can catch myself now sooner, observe, smile, and make adjustments.

best of luck
gf