equus

As we're not seeing my family on Christmas day, they came round early to exchange gifts. My Mum gave D a bottle of whiskey!! She doesn't know we've stopped drinking but she knows how bad his drink problem was.

D commenting on how much he liked the brand, and what good quality it was. I sulked!!

When they left he gave me a massive hug and said Ken (who mucks out at the yard) would love it as a new years gift!! He said my mother doesn't have the power to hurt us, he won't drink it. It'll be in the house all over Christmas, he's an alcoholic, BUT whatever the craving - even if he broke, he buy something different, I know he won't touch one drop of that whiskey. If anything I think it's made it even more of a battle of wills. To him it's pretty iconic and I reckon has made him twice as determined to get well for good.

My mum is one in a million - I grew up with that!

Now I've grown up my life is with another who's one in a million, just the other end of the scale!

DesertEyes

Way cool, equus :-) Thanks for sharing that, it's always inspiring to hear that other folks are doing well :-)

Mike :-)

Peaches04

Eqqus - that's fantastic! I am laughing so hard because my mom brought our present over and she whispered in my ear "it's a new wine rack - I hope that's okay". I said sure...but, I wanted to say "the only thing better, would be a new bong too!"...hahah!

equus

It is kind of funny. There's no accident with my Mum, it's done for reaction - her being centre of attention, the poor 'accused' mother!

I remember before he met my Mum I warned him she plays mind games. It made him laugh, and he just said she isn't going to find it very easy.

I feel like he's taking my hand in this, while I sulked and saw his 'gratitude' for the present I knew he wasn't going to drink it. He doesn't lie and everything he said about it was true, he does like it, it is a good brand, it does have a fine flavour BUT he never said HE would enjoy it, he never said HE wanted it, he never said ANYTHING about drinking it.

The whiskey was centre of attention and as she knows it's hardly the world's best pressy - job done!!

He doesn't get angry with her or hate her he just hates her hurting me. I think it's his personal quest to at least show me what she does doesn't have to hurt me.
Funny thing is I think she just made booze free Xmas easier for him, not harder. There's nout like a bloke head to head in a battle of wits with his MIL!!!

Peaches04

((((Equus))))) - he sounds like a champ, as do you! You seem to be taking it in stride. Hats off to you both!

Petunia

Equus,

Thank you for sharing the good news. Some days are made up of the oddest moments of recovery. I have really had to learn to appreciate them when they occur and not be looking around the corner for the next "problem".

Peace - Petunia

equus

I felt very protected. Makes it a bit easier to lighten up.

Anyway I'd have got face ache if I'd carried on my sulk!!

Hehehehe - I'd love to have seen your Mum's face if you had said the bong thing! My mum wouldn't know what one was!!

Peaches04

You know what is REALLY funny - my mom wouldn't have either...but, as codependent as she is, she probably would have shopped all day and gone to big department stores saying "do you sell a bong?".... haha!!

equus

Where's the worshipping smilie?? Peaches you've just made me picture my Mum doing that!!! Bad me wants it to happen...... *slaps bad me*

Peaches04

Aren't visualizations great!!! I'm LOL!!! Wouldn't it be funny if they were both at the same store:

Saleslady: "May I help you?"
Mom1: "yes, I'm looking for a bong?"
Saleslady" "I'm sorry?"
Mom1: "a bong...I believe it's spelled "B-O-N-G" - I don't know if that's the name brand or the actual item..."
Mom2: "oh!! That's what I'm looking for too - for my son in law!"
Saleslady "SECURITY!"

equus

Mom2: (knowing D's love of chemistry) Is it a poison? *Points at Mom1* Is she dangerous?
Mom1: NO... my daughter SIL needs it, it's the best thing I could get them for Christmas, I must find one
Saleslady: *Reaches under shelf, cancels security and winks - producing a bong* For the right price ONE of you could have this?
Mom2: I knew it was chemical! Is it dangerous? How much is it?
Saleslady: SSSHHHHH!!!!!
Mom1: It's very pretty, I think they want it for their front room.
Mom2: Is it used to boil rubber?

Peaches04

LOL... oh brother!!! what a site!!!

gelfling

Thanks for the laugh!!!

sandyr

Wow! My AH hasn't had a drink in 2 1/2 months, just got out of rehab (4 weeks).
He said that if can make it through the holidays, he'll beat this thing for sure.

We came home the other night from AA/Alanon meeting (my first) and found on the front porch a beautifully wrapped bottle of my favorite chardonnay. I was stunned and speechless. He said that it was okay and he wasn't tempted.

Get this...he can be around advertisements, people drinking, talking and smelling of alcohol and doesn't feel the slightest bit of temptation, but if his stress level goes up he starts to get a feeling in his gut that he needs something to drink. I guess he takes comfort in alcohol where some people would take comfort in a piece of chocolate cake.

I still worry about the holidays. We are going to my mom's house this evening and there will be alcohol around. My family is being very supportive but I still worry.

Thanks guys for listening.

Sandy

equus

My hubby kept saying not drinking was easy - that wasn't what I saw!! Then he clarified what he meant:

He said 'It's a hell of a lot easier than managing life drunk!'