Rehab romance
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,650
hi Suzy, I'm really sorry to hear that.
Unfortunately, as Anna mentioned, it's not that uncommon. A person is very vulnerable at that time and is surrounded by people going through the same thing.
How are you holding up? I hope you are taking good care of yourself.
Unfortunately, as Anna mentioned, it's not that uncommon. A person is very vulnerable at that time and is surrounded by people going through the same thing.
How are you holding up? I hope you are taking good care of yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 63
Originally Posted by trailmix 
hi Suzy, I'm really sorry to hear that.
Unfortunately, as Anna mentioned, it's not that uncommon. A person is very vulnerable at that time and is surrounded by people going through the same thing.
How are you holding up? I hope you are taking good care of yourself.
Unfortunately, as Anna mentioned, it's not that uncommon. A person is very vulnerable at that time and is surrounded by people going through the same thing.
How are you holding up? I hope you are taking good care of yourself.
Yes I’m ok. Thing that really floored me is it was my sponsor and confidant that told me. She’s been having long conversations and walks with him supposedly’helping him’ 🤦♀️
this was totally unacceptable to me. He has a male sponsor of his own. Had to cut contact with her too.
Evan though he is now my ex husband we were still close as we have a daughter together and I guess I still held a little hope. Now I know I can’t be friends with him or my ex sponsor as she’s involved in his stuff.
gone zero contact with them both
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,650
Well, for what it's worth, I think you have done the right thing. Better to not get caught up in that drama, it doesn't need to be part of your life.
I can see how it's hurtful though, you did have that sliver of hope, which is now gone. I know you won't want to hear this now (but I will say it) - it might be a silver lining. I'm not sure how long you two have been exes - but maybe you will now be able to look at your life more and what you want for yourself and your child.
Coming right after this, that won't sound very comforting, but maybe just pondering what your life could look like, what you want, will be of some comfort.
I can see how it's hurtful though, you did have that sliver of hope, which is now gone. I know you won't want to hear this now (but I will say it) - it might be a silver lining. I'm not sure how long you two have been exes - but maybe you will now be able to look at your life more and what you want for yourself and your child.
Coming right after this, that won't sound very comforting, but maybe just pondering what your life could look like, what you want, will be of some comfort.
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Join Date: Apr 2023
Posts: 34
@suzyontour
I’m so sorry to hear that. But as everyone is saying it is very common. Unless they have their head screwed up on right they’ll attach in rehab about 90% (that’s my guess as I have done plenty of reading, listening and educating about rehab/alcoholism/cheating….).
My husband of almost 8 years (9 together) went into rehab mid-February and got out a month later to fake and lie about everything, acted like he hated me, blamed all the drinking on me and the environment. After 3 weeks I couldn’t take it anymore, searched his phone and found that he was calling rehab and texting rehab friends about how in love he is with this girl that was there for a his last week.
What a silly thing to do. But remember addiction/alcoholism is a disease. It’s a family disease that affects everyone. The 1st month after he left was so hard for me that I didn’t think I could do it. Now, 2 months later, I’m busier then ever, travel with our 3 year old every weekend so we don’t have to even see him. Btw he doesn’t give a crap if he doesn’t see her. He walked away without any apologizes, explanation. I had to hold him to ask him: did you really fall in love in rehab in 8 days? So he could tell me: you know the answer.
Alcoholics/ addicts are selfish and very often narcissistic and as my therapist says, it’s the alcohol that destroys marriages. While I know from Al—anon that we are powerless over alcohol, I still hate him for what he has done. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him walking out on me and our 3 years old after all i have done for him. I’m in the 2nd stage if grief: anger, so please bear with me
Try listening to Love over addiction podcast. It helped me the most as you’ll hear that you’re not alone (that part helped me as I have connected with every episode on some level). I was blaming myself for him leaving, as he blamed me for everything. He told me at one point he’s leaving because what I said when we 1st picked up our daughter from daycare after his rehab. That’s just wrong and shows you they don’t think straight.
Just please know that you’re not alone. So many people have been in your shoes. It’s what they do: switch one addiction (alcohol/drug) for another (attachment/infatuation) in rehab. It’s sad but nothing we can do about it. Time will help. It helped me even though I’m just at the begging of my new single mom journey and my own al-anon recovery.
Good luck and let us know how you’re doing.
I’m so sorry to hear that. But as everyone is saying it is very common. Unless they have their head screwed up on right they’ll attach in rehab about 90% (that’s my guess as I have done plenty of reading, listening and educating about rehab/alcoholism/cheating….).
My husband of almost 8 years (9 together) went into rehab mid-February and got out a month later to fake and lie about everything, acted like he hated me, blamed all the drinking on me and the environment. After 3 weeks I couldn’t take it anymore, searched his phone and found that he was calling rehab and texting rehab friends about how in love he is with this girl that was there for a his last week.
What a silly thing to do. But remember addiction/alcoholism is a disease. It’s a family disease that affects everyone. The 1st month after he left was so hard for me that I didn’t think I could do it. Now, 2 months later, I’m busier then ever, travel with our 3 year old every weekend so we don’t have to even see him. Btw he doesn’t give a crap if he doesn’t see her. He walked away without any apologizes, explanation. I had to hold him to ask him: did you really fall in love in rehab in 8 days? So he could tell me: you know the answer.
Alcoholics/ addicts are selfish and very often narcissistic and as my therapist says, it’s the alcohol that destroys marriages. While I know from Al—anon that we are powerless over alcohol, I still hate him for what he has done. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him walking out on me and our 3 years old after all i have done for him. I’m in the 2nd stage if grief: anger, so please bear with me
Try listening to Love over addiction podcast. It helped me the most as you’ll hear that you’re not alone (that part helped me as I have connected with every episode on some level). I was blaming myself for him leaving, as he blamed me for everything. He told me at one point he’s leaving because what I said when we 1st picked up our daughter from daycare after his rehab. That’s just wrong and shows you they don’t think straight.
Just please know that you’re not alone. So many people have been in your shoes. It’s what they do: switch one addiction (alcohol/drug) for another (attachment/infatuation) in rehab. It’s sad but nothing we can do about it. Time will help. It helped me even though I’m just at the begging of my new single mom journey and my own al-anon recovery.
Good luck and let us know how you’re doing.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Originally Posted by ConfusedIRis
It’s what they do: switch one addiction (alcohol/drug) for another (attachment/infatuation) in rehab..
So sorry for what happened. It isn't fair, but it likely won't last long.
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