Strawbz11

My boyfriend is 2.5 years sober from.alcohol. very addictive personality. Smokes weed which I'm actually fine with. He doesn't change on it really. Rarely he will get happier and eat more. I have had suspicions lately after 8 months ago whilst we were split I was told he was a coke head. A local neighbour told me he often had dealers at the house. I argued it and said nah it was just weed. I spent every other night with him and never saw any foil or bags or spoons or anything that made me think he had another substance on the go.

We got back together in January. What niggled me was he was always going to get weed yet I never saw it..never smelt it etc. But he always claimed it was £20 and he'd smoked it on the way back. I remember before he got around 3 joints out of a bag costing a tenner. So I started to suspect.

Overtime these trips seemed random. They were sometimes 2 or 3 times a night. Instead of chilling with me he would be out walking for 45 minutes to collect "weed". He was spending most his money on it and it just started to annoy me.

3 weeks ago after he went out I started searching his back pack. It was full of lighters. I found a badge. Some foil and and a random piece of metal spring. He could sense my mood had changed when he got back. We ended up arguing. I blurted out everytime I'm here all you seem to care about is getting your next fix. We argued. I went home upset.

We got past it. The next week he seemed to go out of his way to bring weed into the house. I saw it and smelt it. He kept going out for a joint that night and got the munchies. He was strangely calm and happy.

Last weekend he burned through £140 for weed. Everytime he went for milk or weed he'd text me for more money. He couldn't sleep both nights and I was exhausted. He was in and out the hotel we was staying at fag after fag. I woke up the next day and decided to go home early to see my kids and get some house-work done. He was half asleep and I tapped him and said are you happy if I sort your washing. He grunted yes. So I sorted his washing. I felt a lighter in his trousers. So I undid the zip to take it out. It was a metal pipe shape with foil wrapped around it. Loads of holes had been pricked under it. I put it back in. Kissed him on the head and left. I asked him to call me when he was up. He did and I decided to tell him exactly how I found it. He said casually "oh you've found my weed pipe?" He said I use that so I don't have to roll joints. I quizzed him and said I wouldn't feel any less towards him if he can be straight with me. I said if it's something else I would rather know how often and when. He denied it.

What do you think?

trailmix

I think he's lying to you - again.

I don't know how much you know about weed, but there is no foil involved

Also you mentioned weed was 10, now it's 20 and that would be for approx 3 joints. How fast can the man smoke and why can't you smell it and why did the price double and who goes out for weed 3 times in a night etc etc.

It was a metal pipe? Weed smokers don't use metal pipes, maybe glass, it would be far too hot.

I don't smoke weed, I have tried it. I know people who do all the time, daily (it is legal where I live), none of the things you describe would describe even a chronic weed smoker.

Hawkeye13

You know already he is lying again.

I just hope you aren’t funding any of his “weed” purchases because that is a bottomless pit.

Even if it was weed, which it isn’t, why spend your precious life waiting around for a guy who runs out on you multiple times a night for his fix? Aren’t you more interesting than drugs? Where the heck are his priorities?

It won’t be easy, but you know what you need to do Strawbz.

Rip that bandaid off and wash that man right out of your hair, so you have room for one who will treat you like the goddess you are. . .

advbike

He is ruled by his addiction, and sorry to say, but it is his number one priority.

I have to add my voice to the others - why are you even with this guy?

trailmix

Does he not have a job?

This is the same guy you were talking about above right?

After thinking about all this, what do you think Strawbz?

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Hawkeye13

I think that money would be better spent on your kids and yourself instead of his drug habit. . .

SparkleKitty

Does this not exhaust you? Constantly policing him and wondering whether or not he's telling the truth? Searching for confirmation of what you already know to be true? Doing his washing and asking if he's "happy" about it?

You have one precious life. Is this how you want to spend it?

Behappy1

Take the advice from others who have been in your shoes. Run, run far away. This is exhausting and NOBODY deserves this. He is a boyfriend - cut your losses and run before he becomes a husband or a father to your kids.