Welcome to the **** show!!
Ke**i
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Peoria Il
Posts: 23
Welcome to the **** show!!
AH and I were able to spend a good week and 1/2 away from each other. I worked on detaching and moving on with my soon to be single status. So then comes Wednesday when we get the message the AD broke her Ankle and needs surgery. AH was still out of town, but we communicated amongst the three of us through messenger to see what she needed. He got home Thursday and he filled me on on some other surprises my daughter has shared with him but kept from me (an eviction, unpaid debt his deceased dad had cosigned for etc.) He can't understand why she has so many issues! DUH BOOZE!! I had already decided I am detaching from her too, because at 30 she has to take charge of herself.
This morning AH says he needs to get his dads estate settled, so we can get or finances settled, plus he has to get AD Surprises figured out. I calmly agreed asked him where we should start and we moved forward with our morning. After my shower, he did mention he should return to his home town to take care of some things next weekend. (Home town is were he has been spending a lot of money on drinking and even found a new "friend" to party with. She is so awesome he made plans to see her for an entire weekend and take her to breakfast with AD!) I agreed, but said there should be boundaries set up, because too much of our money has been spent on these home trips. I told him he should stay at his dads house (he said not with the his dad's crazy girlfriend). He said he would do a hotel, ME: so you can spend more nights with her..... and the argument continued. I brought up the past money spent before and he said he would have spent that either way. That's when I told him that in all honesty the affair really doesn't matter to me, its this drinking that I have dealt with for years. Of how I have asked him to get healthy with me (I finally sought help for my depression in March of 2019 and have been feeling so happy) His comment "and how long did it take you to get help?
At that point I walked away, I know I cannot argue with him. I know that it does no good. I know my depression was due to me being codependent and the wasted years I had spent hoping that I would do something just right to convince him to stop and we could move forward into a real marriage. I know I can do this and I know he can't...... I also know he can have that crappy old couch, cause I am getting a new one!
This morning AH says he needs to get his dads estate settled, so we can get or finances settled, plus he has to get AD Surprises figured out. I calmly agreed asked him where we should start and we moved forward with our morning. After my shower, he did mention he should return to his home town to take care of some things next weekend. (Home town is were he has been spending a lot of money on drinking and even found a new "friend" to party with. She is so awesome he made plans to see her for an entire weekend and take her to breakfast with AD!) I agreed, but said there should be boundaries set up, because too much of our money has been spent on these home trips. I told him he should stay at his dads house (he said not with the his dad's crazy girlfriend). He said he would do a hotel, ME: so you can spend more nights with her..... and the argument continued. I brought up the past money spent before and he said he would have spent that either way. That's when I told him that in all honesty the affair really doesn't matter to me, its this drinking that I have dealt with for years. Of how I have asked him to get healthy with me (I finally sought help for my depression in March of 2019 and have been feeling so happy) His comment "and how long did it take you to get help?
At that point I walked away, I know I cannot argue with him. I know that it does no good. I know my depression was due to me being codependent and the wasted years I had spent hoping that I would do something just right to convince him to stop and we could move forward into a real marriage. I know I can do this and I know he can't...... I also know he can have that crappy old couch, cause I am getting a new one!
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