OliviaLynnMarsh

Thank you for the links. I’m always a little nervous to give these things to the kids.. I worry that I might stir something up in them. Two of them seemed somewhat relieved when we talk about it but one of them, 17, doesn’t seem to want to talk at all. Different personalities and ways of coping I suppose. Thanks for the resources anyways!

OliviaLynnMarsh

I just have to put it out there that I’m feeling a little resentful. Why isn’t the alcoholic the one looking up the Acoa literature? It angers me that he can’t face up to the damage he may be causing our kids.

SparkleKitty

I think I. This instance, what is important is that the kids have the support they need, not who looks it up for them. Addicts aren’t known for their ability to really understand how their actions affect others.

Reading back through your threads, it seems they have been telling you for some time that they feel responsible for whether Dad is okay or not. They need the help, wherever it comes from.

ItsNotYou2

I read back on some threads I posted, and hanging on to that resentment was a long, agonizing act of futility that almost crushed the last part of me.

Acceptance has been so peaceful. I know my loved one loves his DOC more than anything in the world, more than his child, more than me. But he hates his DOC, too.

IME, just providing the tools for our child and for me, and getting out of the way of the A and his beloved, our child and I have forged ahead in peace. And happiness, too!

I hope you and yours can find this sooner than later.