Healing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 30
Healing
Not been on for a while thought I would give you an update and to say my heartfelt thanks to members who supported me through some of the very dark times in my so called 21 year marriage to an alcoholic
i took scary steps and went through with restraining orders then the divorce he is now 300 miles away but he still calls in the hope there is a chance?! I still listen for 10 mins max I support myself I have stopped feeling guilty for supposedly being the cause and started feeling guilty for having no respect or love for myself.
life is good and I am happy in my own company I have a circle of family and friends some old some new I can now hold my head high without fear of being judged or suffering repercussions. That is empowering!
The main things I learned on my journey are:
-that if they don’t want to change they won’t
-consequences and boundaries only count if you stand by them
-actions speak louder than broken promises
-there is an end to that piece of string
-your sanity is priceless no-one has the right to make you doubt it
-if you or a loved one is broken you or they need to ask for help to start the healing process
-everyone has choices and you make your own when you are ready
I have forgiven but not forgotten I was as much to blame as he was for my unhappiness
23 months into my recovery and loving myself
Are you taking the time to love you?
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt
i took scary steps and went through with restraining orders then the divorce he is now 300 miles away but he still calls in the hope there is a chance?! I still listen for 10 mins max I support myself I have stopped feeling guilty for supposedly being the cause and started feeling guilty for having no respect or love for myself.
life is good and I am happy in my own company I have a circle of family and friends some old some new I can now hold my head high without fear of being judged or suffering repercussions. That is empowering!
The main things I learned on my journey are:
-that if they don’t want to change they won’t
-consequences and boundaries only count if you stand by them
-actions speak louder than broken promises
-there is an end to that piece of string
-your sanity is priceless no-one has the right to make you doubt it
-if you or a loved one is broken you or they need to ask for help to start the healing process
-everyone has choices and you make your own when you are ready
I have forgiven but not forgotten I was as much to blame as he was for my unhappiness
23 months into my recovery and loving myself
Are you taking the time to love you?
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Uk
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by Bekindalways 
So good to hear Shetrim. That is some hard won wisdom but I hope it is worth it.
Did he move or did you move?
Did he move or did you move?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,010
Originally Posted by SHETRIM
He was escorted from the house by the police and the judge said he could not come within a mile of the house which he did not stick to so on his second appearance the judge made the no fly zone bigger 😂😂😂
May God bless and keep this man very far from you! (That is a quote from Fiddler on the Roof which I use a lot.)
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
Those boundaries or lack there of. Establish ground rules as early in the addiction as possible. If nothing else it might help keep that person out of your life. Could be something very simple like don't give them rides, make them clean up if they stay at your place etc. Call them out in detail.
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