pizza67

Hi guys

So during the pandemic AH keeps asking if any prescriptions are ready because he wants to use that as an excuse to go buy alcohol. (He doesn’t need one, he just feels guilty about going into a liquor or grocery store r now). Of course they have drive thru pharmacy and of course I have always been the one to pick up meds. He just wants to guise it as doing me a favor. I asked him not to pick up my and the kids’ meds under those circumstances, just get his own. He says I’m “twisted” and “controlling.” Is this twisted and controlling? I explained I just don’t want to facilitate his buying (and of course I also don’t want him to be able to say “I was doing you a favor! Why don’t you appreciate that?!)

Nd819

My AH always has an errand turn to run in the late afternoon. He's also learned that a lot of restaurants will serve you a drink while you wait for your food. He's been so considerate about offering to bring home dinner!

Ariesagain

Try to stop engaging with him on this topic, yes?Â
He’s going to get his alcohol whether you say yes, please pick up our prescriptions, or fight with him about his real motives and say no. Or if you say nothing at all. It’s happening.
What’s more convenient for you? If nothing else, he can at least get an errand off your list?
The drinking is a given. It’s completely independent of anything you do, say, or feel.
So, what do you want to do about the things you CAN control, meaning your own actions and wellbeing?

AnvilheadII

well one can't need to pick up prescriptions THAT often, so is he really asking on a weekly basis, or are you still dwelling on the last time he asked? ***all you have to say is NO thank you. you don't need to DEFEND that, esplain it or try to use it as a "teaching moment" to get thru to him. ***he's going to do what he is going to do. not everything has to be a fight or a struggle or a who is getting over on whom event.
him: do you need me to pick up any >>fill in the blankYou: NOPE.then you each return to whatever you were doing and carry on.

PeacefulWater12

He is an alcoholic doing what alcoholics do. Same as my AH.
It is not personal to you or I.

SmallButMighty

As everyone else said, he is just doing what alcoholics do. Try not to engage.
I would suggest YOU stay on top of picking up prescriptions so when he asks, you can say, "nope I already got them, thanks anyway"... it would just be one less thing for either of you to engage about, especially during these troubling times when EVERYBODY is on edge regardless of addiction status.
Hang in their Pizza. Lots and lots of deep breaths...

velma929

The suggested course of action here: same as everywhere, for virtually everything: don't JADE This has been a go-to ever since I heard it, and it just saves soooo much time.
Don't Justify Argue Defend Explain