How to go about changing access to the kids?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
Originally Posted by woodlandlost 
And you know what...I am having a bit of a shake up inside of me...I don't know if it is temporary or if it will be sustained. But I have realized how messed up we were and how little I want that in my life...maybe this is a shift in me?
WLL, I think no matter what happens going forward, you have gained a whole new set of tools, and a whole new strength with which to wield them. I know things aren't easy right now, but I feel confident there are brighter days in store for you.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
WL, you’re a good guy in a terribly tough situation. My sincere hope for you is that you find your way to a more peaceful, positive life surrounded by people who appreciate you.
I had one more thought...maybe do some reading about children who grow up in alcoholic homes? Your daughter’s “stoicism” makes me sad...she’s a kid. She shouldn’t be editing her emotions just to try to make things better for her parents.
Here are some things many of us experience growing up that way:
Attachment disorders: I tend to avoid or sabotage relationships, even friendships...too risky.
Overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others’ emotions: my father’s mood swings and black silent rages were awful and as a child, I assumed they were my fault.
Anxiety: I find it extremely difficult to relax, unless I am alone.
I could go on and on, but my point is that if you really understand what your wife’s addiction may be setting your daughter up for, it may help your resolve. Therapy helps; having one parent who she can always count on is crucial.
Sending you both a hug.
I had one more thought...maybe do some reading about children who grow up in alcoholic homes? Your daughter’s “stoicism” makes me sad...she’s a kid. She shouldn’t be editing her emotions just to try to make things better for her parents.
Here are some things many of us experience growing up that way:
Attachment disorders: I tend to avoid or sabotage relationships, even friendships...too risky.
Overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others’ emotions: my father’s mood swings and black silent rages were awful and as a child, I assumed they were my fault.
Anxiety: I find it extremely difficult to relax, unless I am alone.
I could go on and on, but my point is that if you really understand what your wife’s addiction may be setting your daughter up for, it may help your resolve. Therapy helps; having one parent who she can always count on is crucial.
Sending you both a hug.
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