clarity888

Does anyone else find themselves considering finding a different line of work, so that they don't have to present that "happy face" to the public day in, day out? I used to work in a cubicle, but now am constantly interacting with people, 80% of each day, and usually with many other people onlooking. I find it exhausting. Especially while riding the rollercoaster of AH drinking, not drinking, and dealing with DS having meltdowns each morning and each night due to his ADHD and his general growing pains.

I try to get enough rest, but some days don't have a full cup from which to pour. Then I just make mistakes that are probably no big deal, but embarrassing as a newbie in my role, and I beat myself up over it for days. I know this must be perfectionism, and social anxiety. I guess I just wish I could be more open with coworkers that I'm not usually having such a hard time with life. Life used to be much easier, LOL, as was putting on the "workplace happy face". I guess as people get to know me more, I will feel more confident. Right now I just think people must think I have issues. Why do I care what people think--I know it's none of MY business what they think of me. Just having a hard time putting on the facade lately.

Thanks for listening...

AnvilheadII

Especially while riding the rollercoaster of AH drinking, not drinking, and dealing with DS having meltdowns each morning and each night due to his ADHD and his general growing pains.

i wonder if the home life could stand a change? that will remain regardless of WHAT job you take............

trailmix

That's a lot of accommodation for the alcoholic?

I get putting on the facade at work, I have always worked with outside customers or "customers" within the workplace, it's kind of one and the same. People relying on you to be organized and have answers AND be pleasant. It can wear on you for sure.

That said, what do you accommodate, your work or the alcoholic in your family? Something probably needs to give (before you do).

I'm sure everyone out there working realizes not every day is happiness day, assuming they are also working with customers.

Notice how in your family you have 3 challenges right now. Your Son's issues, your Husband is an alcoholic and your work/home stress. When it all gets to be too much what do you choose? You choose to downgrade your job. You take the hit. Of course your Son doesn't (and shouldn't) but maybe it's time for your AH to step up. You cannot be all things to all people, you will burn out. I hope that you have minimized your contact with him except as it relates to your Son. Detaching from your AH is probably a good idea at this point.

If he can't step up do you have other family members you can count on?

I'm not sure why you changed your role, is there a benefit to you? Was this a promotion? I would be reluctant to change it if it was, especially if you are making more money. With an alcoholic you never know when you are going to have to support yourself and your Son.

As for the ADHD tantrums morning and night, I'm sure you have him in therapy of some sort, possibly on some medication but this is something where you should look for other answers perhaps? A new therapist, an appointment with a psychiatrist to review your Son's medications or make suggestions for you to consider perhaps.

clarity888

Thank you Anvil and Trailmix. All good points. I see what you mean about being all things to all people. And offering up my job to take the hit, when there's no guarantee that will do anything to help anyone. Thankfully DS has therapy this week and we will address his behavior...and I am considering a bigger change, leaving my mind open to alternatives that are always there.

This job was a promotion as far as hourly pay rate and flexibility as compared to my prior career behind a desk. It does not offer benefits like health ins or PTO, and with the Medicare PDPM changes here, nobody knows if jobs like it will be around for long (there have been mass layoffs in the last two weeks). I am glad it's good pay though not quite FT with benefits. I make up the other hours in a different setting that I like a lot (it just doesn't have as many hours available to work).

I've thought lately about going back to the old career to at least have health insurance, 401k, PTO, and to rely more on the writing and analyzing skillset...at least it was predictable and stable. Right now my health insurance is tied to AH. I guess I am anticipating how to cover that when the time comes. Maybe with the AHCA, finding health insurance won't be as much of a beast. The old career would also mean moving back to where my mother and family live (and cousins for DS to hang with).

Decisions, as always. Thanks for listening.

hopeful4

I personally stay at a job that has PTO and health ins because I need that for myself and my kids. I think it's good that you are thinking about that.

I also wonder if you are not being a bit paranoid? I have worked at my job for a LONG time and work with some fairly new people. We expect them to make mistakes for a really long period of time and really don't think anything of it. Maybe you are being your own worst critic? Just a guess.

I agree that with time and getting to know people better it will likely get better for you.

Sending a hug!